Nanny tells DD her clothes are "ugly"

[Anonymous]

DD is 2 yo and gets lots of clothes from her grandmothers. They are not always my taste, but I don't overthink it. If they fit and look comfortable, I put them on her. The other day I found an outfit from a Grandma in the back of her closet and put it on her for the first time. After I came home from work, DD pointed to the shirt and said "ugly shirt" several times. She does not generally call things "ugly" so I knew she had to be repeating a word from someone else. I asked, "Who said it is an ugly shirt?" And she said her nanny's name. DD sometimes gets confused about what she is being asked, but she seemed to understand this particular question quite well. Should I confront the nanny or just let it go?

[Anonymous]

Is it ugly?

[Anonymous]

You should say something, is not right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it ugly?

+1

[Anonymous]

I would tell the nanny to please make sure she isn't making negative comments about DD's appearance in front of or to her.

[Anonymous]

She wasn't commenting on her appearance. All she said was that the shirt was ugly. I would ask her to please not say her clothes are ugly so she won't become self conscious. Now if she was calling your dd ugly then that would most certainly upset me and definitely prompt an immediate discussion with the nanny.

[Anonymous]

I told my charge that certain clothes were weekend clothes. Never used the word ugly but she knew there were clothes her Mom bought her that I couldnt stand. Mainly polka dot stuff....hate polka dots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my charge that certain clothes were weekend clothes. Never used the word ugly but she knew there were clothes her Mom bought her that I couldnt stand. Mainly polka dot stuff....hate polka dots.

you're a peach.

[Anonymous]

Eh, that wasn't a smart thing to say. However, as a nanny I've looked in DC closet before and whispered "what the hell is this?", of course DC is an infant, but it still wasn't nice of me.

Since your DC is obviously at the age of "parroting" it would be wise for your nanny to be very careful of what she says. I would just gently tell her to be extra careful of her language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since your DC is obviously at the age of "parroting" it would be wise for your nanny to be very careful of what she says. I would just gently tell her to be extra careful of her language.

^^ this. especially since grandma might come over some time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it ugly?

+1

OP, here. Is that the point? To the extent it helps you understand, the shirt is a purple retro floral print of the type that every fashionable pre-schooler wore in the early to mid-80s. I hate floral prints, and I get the sense that my nanny is not a Laura Ashley fan either, but it is not head-turning ugly. Definitely not the ugliest clothing gift DD has received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it ugly?

+1

OP, here. Is that the point? To the extent it helps you understand, the shirt is a purple retro floral print of the type that every fashionable pre-schooler wore in the early to mid-80s. I hate floral prints, and I get the sense that my nanny is not a Laura Ashley fan either, but it is not head-turning ugly. Definitely not the ugliest clothing gift DD has received.

I mean...it kind of is the point.

My charge (infant) has some hideeeeously ugly clothes in the closet - which I never dress him in. Saying that sweater is ugly isn't the same as saying "DD, you're ugly." I am betting your nanny pulled it out on day, discovered how ugly it was, said something without thinking ("I'll put this ugly shirt back in the closet") and that was the end of it. If you absolutely need to talk to her about it, just tell her what DD repeated and say you don't know where she heard it from, but you're all going to need to be more careful what you say around DD because you wouldn't want her repeating that when grandma comes to visit. Done.