Bonus for nanny share situation--what's best?

[Anonymous]

We have been in a share for six months, and are getting ready to give our nanny a holiday/end-of-year gift. One week's pay is standard where we live, and the other family, who has used the nanny all year, plans to give this. Should we also give the full week's pay so that we give the same amount, or should we adjust it because we have only been in the share for part of the year? It seems that if it weren't a share situation it would be fine to prorate and this is what the other family suggested we do, but I'm feeling uncertain about giving a different amount than they are giving. The difference is a significant amount of money for our family this year, though--we both have offices that are closed without pay next week due to furloughs--so I'm really struggling with what to do. We are also giving some extra time off with pay for the days we are not working, but of course that's not really the same as a bonus.

Has anyone been in this situation, and if so, what did you do? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Please, just be honest with your nanny and give her what you are comfortable with. She is a human being, she will understand.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny in a share and I honestly don't think the two families discuss my holiday bonus. They might, but for some reason I don't think so.

I've been in this share for a few years and every year, the families give me different amounts (each family gives a different amount, not different amounts each year, although that is also the case). I don't expect a bonus at all so I appreciate what is given and don't think any less of whichever family gives less of a bonus. They are all great employers throughout the year and that means more to me than a big holiday bonus. Just give your nanny whatever you can afford and I'm sure she will appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

It would be nice to give a week but half would be okay. She will understand.

[Anonymous]

I see where you are coming from, BUT.. if the nanny uses her one week vacation the other family gave her she is either (a) going to have to take that time off unpaid from you, or (b) use her vacation, but still watch your child (which isn't vacation if she is still working).

[Anonymous]

I think it would be ok to pro rate the bonus to reflect the fact that she has been with you for half the year. You should do what you're comfortable with both in terms of your budget and what you feel she deserves. Don't worry too much about how it compares with the other family's bonus, if they are not worried about what you give. FWIW, when we were in a nanny share we agreed to each give our portion of one week's salary even though she had not been with either family for a full year, plus gifts from each family that we decided on independently of each other.

Times are tight for us as well this year but we are still giving our nanny, who has been with us for four months, almost a full week's net pay, plus a picture frame decorated by the kids with a photo of them, a card they made plus one just from DH and me, a make-up set and a lottery ticket. My husband is being laid off at the end of January and we are selling our house in order to downsize. But we will not compromise on childcare and believe the nanny should not be penalised because we are having a tough time. I know it doesn't work like this in the business world, but this is not the business world, it is much more personal so I just can't think about it in the same way.

[Anonymous]

Both families in our share gave 1 week despite the fact the nanny had only worked a few months. Overly generous but we wanted to make her happy!

[Anonymous]

"We are also giving some extra time off with pay for the days we are not working"

YOu already decided about the bonus I imagine since it's the 28th by now. Just commenting that "time off" is no gift to the nanny in a share situation unless both families are giving it at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I've been working in a share for 9 months and a month ago we got a new share family when our original moved. The family i was with 9 months, didn't give me bonus but did buy $250 worth of gifts and the family that just joined a month ago gave me a weeks bonus. I was surprised and grateful.
I've also received this week off paid.

So, i guess it all depends on how much you like the nanny and what you can afford. Remember its a sign of appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be ok to pro rate the bonus to reflect the fact that she has been with you for half the year. You should do what you're comfortable with both in terms of your budget and what you feel she deserves. Don't worry too much about how it compares with the other family's bonus, if they are not worried about what you give. FWIW, when we were in a nanny share we agreed to each give our portion of one week's salary even though she had not been with either family for a full year, plus gifts from each family that we decided on independently of each other.

Times are tight for us as well this year but we are still giving our nanny, who has been with us for four months, almost a full week's net pay, plus a picture frame decorated by the kids with a photo of them, a card they made plus one just from DH and me, a make-up set and a lottery ticket. My husband is being laid off at the end of January and we are selling our house in order to downsize. But we will not compromise on childcare and believe the nanny should not be penalised because we are having a tough time. I know it doesn't work like this in the business world, but this is not the business world, it is much more personal so I just can't think about it in the same way.

Wait, you're losing a job and selling your house but won't consider anything but a full bonus (and continued employment) for the nanny?

[Anonymous]

Your nanny will appreciate anything if she is a reasonable person. I am also a shared nanny with two regular families and two pt families and each did a different amount but all was appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think it would be ok to pro rate the bonus to reflect the fact that she has been with you for half the year. You should do what you're comfortable with both in terms of your budget and what you feel she deserves. Don't worry too much about how it compares with the other family's bonus, if they are not worried about what you give. FWIW, when we were in a nanny share we agreed to each give our portion of one week's salary even though she had not been with either family for a full year, plus gifts from each family that we decided on independently of each other.

Times are tight for us as well this year but we are still giving our nanny, who has been with us for four months, almost a full week's net pay, plus a picture frame decorated by the kids with a photo of them, a card they made plus one just from DH and me, a make-up set and a lottery ticket. My husband is being laid off at the end of January and we are selling our house in order to downsize. But we will not compromise on childcare and believe the nanny should not be penalised because we are having a tough time. I know it doesn't work like this in the business world, but this is not the business world, it is much more personal so I just can't think about it in the same way.


Wait, you're losing a job and selling your house but won't consider anything but a full bonus (and continued employment) for the nanny?

This is my question. If you are losing a job and selling your house, you should not be giving large bonuses. A bonus is an extra, voluntary payment and your nanny isn't penalized in any way by not getting one.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP who has given our nanny a relatively large bonus despite our circumstances. With two prior nannies we have given at least a week's bonus and our current nanny is at least as if not much better so we could not imagine not doing the same for her. She has been such a positive factor in our children's lives that we want to make sure she feels appreciated, especially as we are about to go through a difficult period with the house sale etc. To put this in perspective we are selling our house and downsizing so that we can continue to afford good childcare and kids' programmes, be able to live on one salary if we have to at times, save more for retirement/kids' education and hopefully if there is anything left over have more disposable income so we can have more fun. We have a fair bit of equity in our home and are not totally broke but we will be if we do not downsize. Some people would not pay a bonus in our situation, but we just wouldn't feel comfortable with that.