Mom flips out on nanny

[Anonymous]

I started a job just under 2 months ago, and I was immediately concerned about how often my momboss would scream really hurtful, demeaning things to people around her. She mentioned it had happened with nannies in the past, and I casually mentioned I was very sensitive to shouting. I don't know why I ignored that red flag, but I was so in love with the job otherwise. The pay is good, I adore the children. I really liked the mother, too, until she lost it on me yesterday. She regularly asks me to stay late or come in early, and I always say yes because I love the kids and its extra money. Yesterday, however, I couldn't stay the extra few hours she had just asked me for, as I had a prior engagement scheduled. I told her that if she absolutely couldn't find anyone (which I knew she could do easily), I could try to change my schedule around. She seemed fine and ended up not needing me anyway, I completely forgot about it. Later that day, the pick-up line at one child's school was a few minutes late, making me a few minutes late for the other child's line. On any other day, this would just mean being a few cars further back in line, but somehow on this day, everyone else had been picked up. I parked my car, got the other child, and headed towards the building. As I was about to open the door, MB calls and starts screaming at me. I tried explaining that we were at the door right then and I was so sorry I didn't call, but I had no idea this would happen. She heard nothing, just screamed incoherently for a minute or two and hung up. I took a deep breath, opened the door, was greeted by my charge, thanked and apologized to the teacher, and texted MB saying the kids were safe and sound, and I was sorry again for the lack of communication. The rest of the day went as normal, although I felt awful. In the end, when the child was finally in my care, it was only 15 minutes after the start of the pick-up line. We're usually in line for 20 minutes, and that's with us midway through the line. Today when I went in to work, she pulled me away to speak with me. As it turns out, what she was most upset about was me being unable to spare the extra few hours she ending up not needing. She told me I was not putting her children first, which was probably most hurtful to me, as I spend a lot of time in an out of work planning and doing fun crafts and activities with the kids. She did apologize for yelling, while simultaneously excusing her behavior, and said I owed her an apology, which I gladly gave her, again. I started to tell her that, while I understand her frustration, I can't accept being spoken to that way, she didn't let me finish my sentence. She started screaming that I put her under a lot of stress and I cannot put this on her. She then slammed the door and left. Had she not left, I absolutely would have. I adore this family, but I really think this relationship may be damaged beyond repair. Does her behavior justify quitting, or am I being overly sensitive?

[Anonymous]

Yes it justifies quitting!! You do not have to tolerate being screamed at by your boss. You also did not need to apologize to her more than once if at all. If she's lost other nannies over this, she clearly is not going to change.

[Anonymous]

Please QUIT AND give her a piece of your mind. She's a fucking psycho! Do not apologize.

[Anonymous]

Find a new job ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Leave now or it is going to get MUCH, MUCH worse for you. She is treating you like a doormat and you are NOTHING more to her then just that.

[Anonymous]

"MB, your childlike screaming temper tantrums are absurd, inappropriate, and unprofessional. I quit."

[Anonymous]

Find a job and then quit.

[Anonymous]

Quit either at the beginning or end of your day tomorrow. I would not put up with that B.S. for any length of time. A former MB spoke to me incredibly rudely one night and I gave notice the next morning...knowing from the housekeeper that she usually ended up screaming at every nanny she's ever employed. I wasn't willing to let it get to that point.

Your MB is a self-professed screamer. You've now experienced it first hand. Get the heck out of there and don't look back. No one will question the gap on your resume, and if they do it is easily explained as you preferring a work environment that doesn't involve being screamed at. People will be able to read between the lines.

Good luck. And don't apologize to that crazy woman ever again.

[Anonymous]

Omg! This sounds EXACTLY like a MB I used to work for. Almost the same situation and everything! Quit this job. It's only going to get worse.

[Anonymous]

Quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it justifies quitting!! You do not have to tolerate being screamed at by your boss. You also did not need to apologize to her more than once if at all. If she's lost other nannies over this, she clearly is not going to change.

You shouldn't had to apologize in the first place. You were a few minutes late to pick up the second child only because of delays WHILE picking up the first (which you had no control over). That is also not something that ANYONE in their right mind would need the nanny to call them about. As long as you are not late getting to get the kids because you were late in the first place for your own reasons, then not your fault. I would have spoken calmly to her the first chance I could have after her screaming thing, and told her that she could find someone else to scream at. Maybe that person would manage to find a away to be in 2 different lines to pick up 2 different kids at the same time.

[Anonymous]

She needs anger management and you need a new job.

Take the high road on your way out, though.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Find another job asap. Then be professional clear and direct w/ her (and if there is a husband/partner on the scene - with them as well) about why you're leaving.

This isn't you. She is the problem and her behavior is unacceptable in any work environment, anywhere. She won't change - be glad you saw it so early before you got even more attached to the kids. (How terribly sad for them.)

[Anonymous]

Definitely quit - but first find a new job. No reason to put yourself in a difficult situation by quitting on the spot - she probably will retreat for a few weeks anyway before she spirals again - which will happen- but hopefully you will have found something else by then

[Anonymous]

You apologized? I understand that you might need a job to pay bills but dang girl.. Get some self respect