Holding newborn too much
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Anonymous
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MB & DB have told me that I am holding the baby too much and want me to leave him to play alone on the floor. He is 8 days old!!! This is crazy to me. Babies this age need to be held and cuddled, how can I explain this? When we put him on the floor, he flails, screams and flaps his arms in distress. He becomes hysterical and this is terrible for a tiny baby. They want him all all day and sleeping all night. I've been with them 3 years since the older brother was born. They are from another country and maybe this is a cultural thing but I don't think this is okay. I feel awful watching him scream on the floor. If he was 3 months, fine put him on the floor but not a week old baby. They aren't first time parents but had a baby nurse for their firstborn so maybe they don't understand? I am not okay with leaving the baby in distress screaming just so they can sleep through the night! How can I explain this tactfully?
(And no I am not a troll, Jeff can confirm I am a nanny) |
Anonymous
| I meant they want him up all day, sleeping all night. |
Anonymous
| He's eight days old and already has a nanny? What happened to maternity leave? Newborns need to be held, they had a rough past couple of weeks. If a newborn is screaming on the floor, pick him up! |
Anonymous
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Definitely not okay.
I would quit over this & consider contacting child welfare so thy have to stop in and talk to parents about appropriate care. Barring that- try to go to the baby's next dr appt and ask the dr about it. Babies that little sleep all day and keeping them up all day will only make them have a bad night of sleep. They are actively harming their child's brain development. I would not be party to it. |
Anonymous
| OP here- I've been with the family 3yrs, I'm not going to quit but I just don't understand these people. They have him on the floor shaking rattles and trying to get him to play with toys!! They're taking off his mittens and shoving toys at him. Newborns are supposed to be kept cozy and sleeping! |
Anonymous
| that's ridiculous. you can't have a week old baby on a sleep schedule. i'd print out some articles and show them. |
Anonymous
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when they realize he isn't sleeping well at night, hopefully they will change their mind.
you should put your foot down. at the end of tomorrow say "Listen, I understand you guys want me to do XYZ but DS is absolutely miserable when I XYZ with him. I think because he is at such a young age, it might be better to try XYZ with him...what do you think?" |
Anonymous
| We are going to the pediatrician next week and I'm just wondering how to bring this up as I am the nanny and it's really not my place. I just wish they would use common sense!! I am home all day with MB and she just thinks I should be playing with the 3yr old as usual and the baby can just lay on the floor beside us and 'hang out'. What?? Whenever she leaves the room I pick up the baby because I just can't stand to hear him cry. It's so wrong! If I get fired over this, then so be it, but I'm not going to respect their wishes when they are bring crazy!! |
Anonymous
| Don't be a coward and pretend to comply. Be up front: "I honestly believe that X is too young to be awake for longer than a few hours at a stretch and that he needs to be held often. Everything I know about child development tells me that is what is right for this age group. I know that you would prefer that we do X, Y, and Z, but I am simply not comfortable with that. I am happy to work on sleep training and moving toward a schedule as fast as is healthy, but I don't believe we can force him to sleep through the night for at least the first X number of months. I am happy to do age-appropriate playtime, such as tummy time on my chest or lap. I hope we can find some middle ground here." |
Anonymous
| The OP's post is making me really sad. How can anyone treat a newborn like this, let alone the parents???!! |
Anonymous
Nannies can be trolls. |
Anonymous
| ^^ OP here- Well seeing as I've been posting on here for years and haven't trolled.... Thanks everyone else for the advice! I'm talking to them today when I babysit later. |
Anonymous
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When a baby is 8 days old, baby should not be on a schedule. A knowledgeable caretaker will not let baby reach the point of screaming and will attend to baby when he/she begins to fuss.
Babies cry when they're hungry or sick or diaper is wet or wanting to be held. Nutrition is extremely important at this age because bones and major organs and the brain are growing. A baby's weight triples in the first year and doubles in the first 6 months. Therefore, when baby cries, means baby is hungry means feed the baby. Holding an infant -- Skin to skin contact -- Physiological needs Baby: stabilizes their temperature, respiration rates, pulse, electrolytes. Crying babies dehydrate much quicker than adults. Mother: Hormones stabilize, fundus decreases, uterus contracts. Holding an infant -- Psych Needs An 8 day old infant is in the trust vs. mistrust stage of development no matter what culture they're from. Not holding the baby may cause psych problems where trust issues linger into adulthood. One should respect cultural norms and differences, but in the United States of America, leaving an 8 day old infant on the floor to scream and cry is neglect. CAN YOU SAY DYFS? |
Anonymous
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At 8 days his tummy is not big enough to hold enough milk for him to sleep through the night. Babies wake up ever couple of hours because (most) babies need to be fed every couple of hours! Not to mention all the other probs and reasons pp have pointed out.
Not only that, but an over tired baby will be so hard for them to get to sleep!! |
Anonymous
| Oh, wow, this makes me sad! Keep holding the baby! What a tough situation. |