Rematch question

[Anonymous]

We are likely heading for rematch with our Au pair. She is wonderful in so many ways, but our situation has changed (addtional diagnosis just made) we need someone more experienced ( with special needs). What if cant find an appropriate match (bc of special needs) is there a time limit on rematch? Do we get some amt of refund if we can't find a rematch? Do we go back to the out of country pool? Anyone BTDT?

[Anonymous]

BTDT - rematched around this time of year, looking for an SN experienced AP who was also a driver. In our case, we had no luck in-country and ended up using other childcare til June, at which point our incredibly wonderful SN experienced AP arrived.

The HF doesn't get a time limit on finding a new AP (except that which you impose on yourself - as in, you have to go back to work, can't take anymore time off, etc). You can "freeze" your time with the agency, and this is definitely the better bet if you're going to get an AP again, rather than asking for a refund, as they take off a particular percentage depending on how long you have been in the program (i.e. the amount you get back reduces exponentially after the first couple of months). Your AP, on the other hand, will only have two weeks to find a new family (during which you will house her, and if she continues to work, pay her her stipend as well), but assuming you give her a great reference, then she shouldn't have a problem.

Finding a new AP who is SN experienced may well be a problem if you're looking only in country at rematches and extensions, since the SN experieced (as opposed to just SN willing) APs are few and far between to begin with, and you can't expect many to be in rematch. Add in the challenge if you need a driver, and it's probably going to mean going out of country and starting again. An AP who matched in the next couple of weeks could be here in Feb. If you can cover that long without an AP, then that could very well be your best bet. That said, there is no harm in looking at the in-country pool and seeing if you can find someone. Just don't wait too long to start looking out of country since it will take 6 weeks for many nationalities to get visas sorted and worked out to come here.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Good Luck - and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

We weren't looking for special needs in our rematch a few months ago, but needed infant qualified. Just be aware that any discussions at any point that referred to a "pool of candidates in the US looking for a new placement" didn't refer to infant qualified (or I'm sure special needs *experienced*, though you'll probably find special needs *willing*). Be aware upfront that just because a candidate is special needs *willing* doesn't mean they have ANY actual experience with special needs kids. There doesn't seem to be a category for special needs experienced in APIA - other than the "extraordinaire" category, which costs more.

See if you can talk to your LCC before calling rematch about what's available in the rematch "pool". Just get a sense of what's available. We wanted an infant-qualified driver and wound up having to bring in a candidate from outside the country - so we had to cover about 6 weeks of child care between us and family we were able to bring in. We wound up taking an au pair with much lower language skills than we would have otherwise considered. You might have to compromise on some of the things you emphasized before to get a good match now.

The driver issue was big too - we said we wanted a driver, and one of the candidates they were trying to push us toward had an accident with her first host family, had gone to a second host family that didn't let her drive, and she had apparently gotten sick of not being able to drive so she wanted to rematch. We weren't interested in having someone whose last experience driving in the US was a few months ago (with the first family) and ended with a car accident. Once we said that, all of the otherwise qualified rematch candidates suddenly had driving issues.

I'd put out feelers with your LCC, and - while I don't know details about an additional diagnosis - if you really like the Au Pair you have now and she'd be amenable, consider getting her additional training to deal with the new diagnosis rather than changing au pairs. I don't think there are that many special needs *experienced* au pairs out there to choose from, and your current au pair is already emotionally invested with you and your child. Hopefully by the time your year is up, you'll have a good handle on the kind of au pair you need for next year, and can add that criteria then.

That advice changes, of course, if this is just the straw that broke the camel's back and rematch has been looming for a while.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Our Au pair has been with us for almost 3 months and she has struggled but been VERY willing and tried very hard. I have spent an inordinate of time training her, and while she has improved tremendously, she just isn't skilled enough. We need a shadow now, if our child is going to continue at her school. We can't afford an AP AND a shadow with some pretty specialized training/experience. Could we find an Au pair with this training who could also be a shadow ( without going over the 45 hr limit)? I don't know....likely to be a needle in the haystack, even among extraordinaire candidates. I didn't realize you could choose an out of country Au pair when in rematch. I have family nearby who could help for a little while, so we could wait 6 weeks, but the odds of finding what we need in the au pair pool at all is a long shot and dc can't go to school now without a shadow, so that's a lot of school to miss while waiting.

[Anonymous]

You might want to ask some questions of the special needs board. I've had several au pairs but no special needs experience. It sounds to me like you need someone who is well above an au pair, but you could call your agency and discuss with them - maybe there is someone out there? Is this something a public school would be able to provide? It sounds like this goes above and beyond your childcare needs and into school/ total child needs. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can find an au pair who has the expertise you are talking about, but I wouldn't expect you to be able to find it in-country or without a wider window of time.

I decided I need an AP with special needs experience but didn't go the re-match route. We decided that at the end of our AP's year we would find someone with specialized experience. The au pair who is coming to us next is an au pair extraordinaire who has been a preschool gteacher for several years and also has experience as a one-on-one tutor for children with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might want to ask some questions of the special needs board. I've had several au pairs but no special needs experience. It sounds to me like you need someone who is well above an au pair, but you could call your agency and discuss with them - maybe there is someone out there? Is this something a public school would be able to provide? It sounds like this goes above and beyond your childcare needs and into school/ total child needs. Good luck.

Agree that we probably need more than an au pair at this point. We did not know our child would need this much specialized assistance when we matched with our au pair 5 months ago. In theory, an older au pair, who drives well and has strong English, who has experience and training with children who have similiar needs as our child. could be a good fit. The odds finding such an au pair in any reasonable amount of time (ever?) is small. This is why I would prefer a refund to a rematch. But will APIA see our point of view? I don't know.

[Anonymous]

http://www.aupairamerica.biz/pdf/apia_policies_11.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.aupairamerica.biz/pdf/apia_policies_11.pdf

Thank you. Yes, I've read this but it is not very clear.

On the one hand, it states:

"It is not the policy of AIFS to issue a refund of fees for time remaining on the contract in lieu of selecting a replacement."

Then later it states:

"If a host family wishes a replacement to complete or extend their contract year but AIFS is unable to provide a replacement, the host
family is entitled to a refund according to the program’s refund calculation schedule (see schedule on the next page).

And then, if the rematch au pair doesn't work out, it states:

"If between one and six months after arrival, the second au pair/companion on the contract is found to be incompatible, the au pair/
companion will be removed. The family may then, subject to the approval of AIFS, either (1) receive a refund under the terms of the
program’s refund policy or (2) receive a credit for the balance of the time on the contract that may be applied toward a new contract term."

Then finally, there is this:

"If the host family has a serious change of circumstance (such as illness or relocation to an area where AIFS does not have a Community
Counselor within a one-hour drive) and is unable to continue in the 12-month program, AIFS will hold the host family’s credit
balance for up to one year. The credit balance can only be applied to a future placement. In extreme situations, AIFS in its sole
discretion, may refund the family in accordance with the program’s refund policy (see Refund Calculations schedule) if a replacement
host family is found for the au pair/companion involved."

Has anyone BTDT? Advice? I'm not a opposed to rematch with the right au pair, but it would probably save both sides time, effort and $$ if we cut our losses now, as it seems unlikely that we will find each other in a timely way.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm 9:23 from the top of this thread. The second AP we had, the one who arrived after our six months off, was absolutely skilled and trained to do what you're asking. She was a physical therapist for children with SN in her home country, and once here, she assisted our early intervention therapists every day with DC's therapies, did nearly all of the therapy homework, did mouth exercises for feeding therapy, plus learned sign language since Dc didn't speak. She shadowed DC in school for DC's first two months of attending, because of DC's lack of speech. I found her on greataupair.com and just paid the fees to have her switch to our agency (she was with APC and we paid her to switch to CC). You can find someone - it will just take time.

[Anonymous]

Good Luck OP!

I am not sure what the refund policy will be as I have heard the companies are pretty hard about it. However, I can highly recommend a company I am using- proaupair- which specializes in special needs au pairs. My currect au pair could definitely handle what you are asking. She is a trained occupational therapist, older, can drive, great english, etc... But truly, the reason I recommend the company is that it is tiny so I actually spoke with the owner of the company and explained my needs. She then told me who I would match best with becuase she had met her. It was a very different experience then when I used the bigger companies.

I hope everything works out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good Luck OP!

I am not sure what the refund policy will be as I have heard the companies are pretty hard about it. However, I can highly recommend a company I am using- proaupair- which specializes in special needs au pairs. My currect au pair could definitely handle what you are asking. She is a trained occupational therapist, older, can drive, great english, etc... But truly, the reason I recommend the company is that it is tiny so I actually spoke with the owner of the company and explained my needs. She then told me who I would match best with becuase she had met her. It was a very different experience then when I used the bigger companies.

I hope everything works out!

I was just going to recommend proaupair! I only need infant qualified, but I've seen some au pairs who appear to be highly skilled in their pool. They have a small pool (around 25 right now), but the au pair candidates I've contacted have been very impressive. All are "professional" - either pediatric nurses, occupational therapists, preschool / elementary teachers with degrees in those fields as well as practical experience. I believe the head of the agency interviews most of her candidates in person. She's really on the ball. The fees are higher than with the other agencies, but if our prospective au pair works out as well as I think she will, it will have been worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good Luck OP!

I am not sure what the refund policy will be as I have heard the companies are pretty hard about it. However, I can highly recommend a company I am using- proaupair- which specializes in special needs au pairs. My currect au pair could definitely handle what you are asking. She is a trained occupational therapist, older, can drive, great english, etc... But truly, the reason I recommend the company is that it is tiny so I actually spoke with the owner of the company and explained my needs. She then told me who I would match best with becuase she had met her. It was a very different experience then when I used the bigger companies.

I hope everything works out!

If you choose another au pair for rematch and the rematch doesn't work out after a month, then you might get a refund, right? Just less than you would now? If they want to insist you take a rematch, then take it. If it works, great. If not, it's only a month. Then get the refund.