Trust issues
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Anonymous
| I have been working for this family close to one year now. During the interview I kind of sensed that the family was very private and suspicious about everything. I assumed that on they got to know me they would become trusting. The family acts like they think I might be up to something, and from my observation it might be a personality disorder. I am finding it very hard to work for a family that does not trust me. I do not understand why they leave me with their children if they cannot trust me. Prior to this job I worked for three other families (long term). The three families gave me the house keys and alarm codes on my first day. I remember asking the first family how they could trust a stranger with the alarm codes and credit cards but they said that they go with instincts. The second family told me the same thing so for the third family it was not unusual. With the current family, I can't even take kids anywhere cos the family prefers we play indoors on the backyard where they have hidden cameras. They also lock all the upstairs rooms - not that I have any business upstair but I just find it weird because the MB keeps giving excuses as to why they have to lock the rooms. I am starting to feel now more than ever that this is not a good fit at all. Would you quit if you felt your employer does not trust you? |
Anonymous
| Yes, I would quit. To be homest, I probably wouldn't have taken it in the first place. |
Anonymous
| PS if you read some of the stuff nannies post on here...the creep post is a great example, can you blame them for not trusting people? |
Anonymous
| Uhhhh I'd quit! I also call troll. Are the locking the kids doors too?? |
Anonymous
| they sound loony toons |
Anonymous
| OP here, the older kids lock their rooms when leaving the house. |
Anonymous
|
Well normally I would say this is odd but after all the nanny posts on here I am beginning to wonder if we are too trusting. Seriously, most of the nannies on this board claim to be the highly paid professional ones and at the same time are constantly bragging about how much they pull over their employers eyes. It would be one thing if it were a once in a while oddball post but there is a pretty consistent pattern of dishonesty among the nannies on here...employer asks about a flu shot, take the money and lie about it...snooping through drawers/computers, not a problem and if its left on top of a desk its not even an ethical question, snoop away...
On alarm codes, we don't give our nanny or pet sitters when we are away our codes either. We create a code specifically for them and can activate and deactivate it. This is basic good security practice and if you are going to pay for one of these system why not use the features you paid for? |
Anonymous
| I totally understand what you mean PP. I however believe there is a difference between being too trusting and trusting. Trust is earned over time. If this family records me 60 hours a week but they still do not trust me, there is something wrong. I find a big problem when trust issues start interfering with my job. It has started getting very cold so we can only do so much indoors... I would want to take the kids to the library, museum etc but I can't. |
Anonymous
Different parents have different boundaries and desires for what their kids do during the day. If this family wants their kids to stay in the house or play in the background and you knew this going in then I doubt that you will change their minds. From the parent's perspective, young kids don't really need these outings. It makes the job 100% more interesting for the nanny but its really more for her than them. Some parents are OK with this and others are not. You just have to find a job that fits your expectations. We had more of an infant nanny when the kids were infants. She didn't drive so it wasn't an issue. When we replaced our nanny (for reasons not having to do with not driving), we did seek someone who could drive. Since the kids were preschoolers/older toddlers, we wanted them to go to the park where they could play with lots of kids or the library. I don't care if the nanny chats with other nannies as long as the kids didn't get hurt or lost. If the kids were infants, I would care that the nanny was chatting with other nannies while the kids were sitting in strollers at the park. There just isn't much for an infant to do at a park so IMO its not unreasonable to restrict activities at the younger age. I did draw the line at going to the mall, fast food places or driving on the beltway/more than 15 minutes from the house. We take the kids to museums and the zoo on weekends. My nanny does not like driving anywhere near DC so again no issue. However, if she decided to wanted to take them to a museum for a change of pace even though we take them on weekends, I would not be OK with it. Its actually less about trust and more about why expose to driving in traffic and on the beltway when they don't need to be there for someone else's benefit not their benefit. |
Anonymous
| OP are you from the DC area? If yes, then it is not starting to get really cold. There is no reason for you to be indoors all day if there is a big backyard. |
Anonymous
PP, not all nannies are like the ones you see behaving badly on here. I actually get my own flu shot when I want it, even if not needed, pay for it myself and have proof that I show at interviews if asked. I also prefer positions that don't have me going into the parents bedroom, home office and the like, as I don't want to be doing things that put me in the situation where personal papers are laying around where I can accidentally see them. I don't like getting all up into the family's business, just want to do my job while I am there. I have keys for my jobs, but even if the MB's don't mind if I stop by on my day off to drop something off, I always call and check first before doing so (especially when they are out of town). They are constantly telling me that I don't need to ask or let them know first about things that I do talk about beforehand. |
Anonymous
| If they trust you with the kids they should trust you with the codes and unlocked doors. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
|
PP, not all nannies are like the ones you see behaving badly on here I also prefer positions that don't have me going into the parents bedroom, home office and the like, as I don't want to be doing things that put me in the situation where personal papers are laying around where I can accidentally see them. ^^^ This! I hate going into home offices and the parents bedrooms! My current family keeps the washing basket in the bedroom (and the baby monitor) and I feel really rude every time I go in there. |