MB/Nanny Jealousy
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Anonymous
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I know it has been discussed a million times over. I was wondering if as a nanny has your MB ever told you she was jealous of you? On the other side MB's have you ever told a nanny you were jealous of her?
I ask because in the last 6 months MB has had 4 jealousy conversations with me. I've been with the family for 3+ years. I know that in this line of work it's a very fine line. I have done my best to include her whenever her schedule allows. There have been many times she has chosen not to take part. I just don't know what else to do besides give notice. |
Anonymous
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That's a personal problem. Not yours. She needs to get over it.
I'd be firm and say "This is the 5th convo youve had with me about jealously, and I find it to be very fair. Etc etc etc. If this is something you can't work through, I will be forced to find a new position, which I don't want to do" Start looking away. |
Anonymous
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I think ever MB end up being jealous of the nanny. They need to get over it. Of course little snowflake is going to be closer to the person who takes care of them most of the time.
It's a played out concept. It's the same thing as a kid being closer to mom over dad in a traditional family--it's not bc the motherly bond is magical, it's because usually she is the primary caregiver. So... when the nanny is the primary caregiver, what do you expect? |
Anonymous
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MB here. Never.
I have never been jealous of our nanny for a single second and I'm sure she has never been jealous of me. What a stupid question. |
Anonymous
So defensive... smells like you're selling bullshit. |
Anonymous
| One of my MB's hints at this all the time. She makes statements constantly as though every interaction with her child is a competition between her and I for his affection. I know she would love to be a stay at home mom, and I feel for her truly, but all that telling me this constantly does is make me fear for the security of my job. |
Anonymous
| I had this come up this week. LO fell down (he's 2 and still a bit unsteady) and ran to me instead of her for consolation. It was crazy awkward. |
Anonymous
| Whenever I plan a fun outing for DC, mb says we can't do it because she was planning to do it that weekend, when grandma comes etc but she never does it! So dumb. The kids miss out on a great museum exhibit or a fun activity because MB is too lazy/jealous. So now I don't tell her our plans in advance when there's school-free days. We just tell her after the fact! |
Anonymous
| My MB is awesome. She allows me to take LO on 'firsts' all the time. Her mindset is that if she tried to wait until she could take him to do these things, he might end up missing out or having to wait way too long as her work schedule is so demanding. She admits she is sad but she loves that he has the chance to do out and do fun things. If she wants me to wait so she can be included, she tells me...no need for secret jealous. That just leads to awkwardness and grudge holding for nothing. As for me being jealous of my MB..nope. I love when LO chooses her over me because it makes MB feel good. I would prefer he go to her when we are both around. Admittedly, I'm jealous of her fake boobs though. Haha. |
Anonymous
| YA' ALL NEED TO GET OVER THIS, QUIT UR JOBS AND BE ON WELFARE THATS WHAT I DO, I GET TO STAY HOME WITH MA BABIES,,,YOOH. |
Anonymous
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As an MB I have twinges of...not jealousy exactly, but "that's not the way I would do it!" about things that my nanny does that are perfectly valid. And sometimes it makes me grumpy. Or I'm a bit prone to think "If <Y> were done my way, then we wouldn't have <X> problem." DH always calms me down and talks sense into me before I mention it to our nanny, though.
I love to see DC reach for the nanny in the morning all excited. It makes me feel comfortable heading off to work. DC reaches for me when I get home just as excited. |
Anonymous
| Nannies need to learn to look for this potential problem during the initial interviews. |
Anonymous
It's not a stupid questions because alot of parents go through it. Some aren't jealous but alot are and theres nothing wrong with being a little jealous because you want to spend time with your children but you can't because you need to work to provide for them. You see nanny watching the children grow on a daily basis. Maybe you don't care about being with your kids but alot of parents do. |
Anonymous
Why would someone want to be on welfare? I don't. I want to provide my children with much more in life. You can't have the security and stability on welfare. Your just getting by on welfare. Don't you want to take your children (and yourself) on vacations, buy them everything they need and having that extra money to fall back on incase its needed? |
Anonymous
| This is the pecking order where I work: Mommy is the favorite, Nanny is the second favorite, Grandma next, then Daddy. I feel really bad for the father because he is a great dad, very present, and spends more time with the child than most fathers who employ nannies. I don't think that MB has any jealousy issues -- other than possibly being jealous of me that I get to spend so much time with her child when she has to go to work. DB, on the other hand, does get a little jealous. He relieves me from work every night and my charge (who is 14 months old) usually reaches for me, fusses, and sometimes cries when I leave. I know that part of him is happy to see that the baby loves me and is sad to see me leave. At the same time, I know he wishes that the baby were more content to see me leave at the end of the day and spend time with him. |