Nanny Touching Child's Face

[Anonymous]

Yesterday I came home a bit earlier than usual and overheard/saw my nanny talking rather sternly to my child. She also lifted up his face to make him look at her, but kind-of squeezed his cheeks in the process.....it startled me, and I jumped right in, which obviously startled her too.....She looked a little sheepish and tried to wave off what my son did as not a big deal, etc but never said anything about her reaction to it. I didn't either because I wasn't sure if it was entirely wrong or not, but it just surprised me to see her physically move his head like that. FWIW, she IS loving and kind to our kids but can also be stern and have high standards for them at the same time. I guess in wondering if you saw this what you would say/think/do? Do you think it's a big deal??

*I know people are going to ask if I was "spying" on her, and the answer is no! I walked in the house and they were upstairs (large house) so didn't hear me come in. When I heard her talking loudly to DC, I paused before I went in the room to see if it would complicate matters if I entered at that moment. Thats when I saw her do what she did.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't like it and would tell her not to squeeze his face

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I would not grab a child's face in the way you described and it makes my skin crawl when I see others do this to children. If I were you I would say something. She was clearly frustrated and needs to find better ways of dealing with it/getting his attention.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends what your kid did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends what your kid did.

Agreed. If he was doing something that could seriously injure himself then an attention getting tactic is in the best interest of the child. If she was just frustrated then that's a bad sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends what your kid did.

Agreed. If he was doing something that could seriously injure himself then an attention getting tactic is in the best interest of the child. If she was just frustrated then that's a bad sign.

+1

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

I think it's important that the child have eye contact with his or her caretaker when being lectured, or told something is unsafe/off limits. Many. Hidden tend to look away, and so *gently* holding his or her face, and bringing his eyes to you is no big deal. But grabbing a child out of anger is never ok, bring it up and aske her.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, OP?? Not a big deal. Esp if you like and trust her otherwise!! Its not like she slapped him or anything!

[Anonymous]

OP, what did the nanny say to your son when she was talking sternly to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday I came home a bit earlier than usual and overheard/saw my nanny talking rather sternly to my child. She also lifted up his face to make him look at her, but kind-of squeezed his cheeks in the process.....it startled me, and I jumped right in, which obviously startled her too.....She looked a little sheepish and tried to wave off what my son did as not a big deal, etc but never said anything about her reaction to it. I didn't either because I wasn't sure if it was entirely wrong or not, but it just surprised me to see her physically move his head like that. FWIW, she IS loving and kind to our kids but can also be stern and have high standards for them at the same time. I guess in wondering if you saw this what you would say/think/do? Do you think it's a big deal??

*I know people are going to ask if I was "spying" on her, and the answer is no! I walked in the house and they were upstairs (large house) so didn't hear me come in. When I heard her talking loudly to DC, I paused before I went in the room to see if it would complicate matters if I entered at that moment. Thats when I saw her do what she did.

Get over it. Your brat was acting like a evil little monster and the nanny was trying to get his attention. He is lucky he didn't get a slap across the face. Instead of complaining about the nanny why don't you discipline your brat of a child or stay home and raise him up to be a good person instead of an entitles demon child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday I came home a bit earlier than usual and overheard/saw my nanny talking rather sternly to my child. She also lifted up his face to make him look at her, but kind-of squeezed his cheeks in the process.....it startled me, and I jumped right in, which obviously startled her too.....She looked a little sheepish and tried to wave off what my son did as not a big deal, etc but never said anything about her reaction to it. I didn't either because I wasn't sure if it was entirely wrong or not, but it just surprised me to see her physically move his head like that. FWIW, she IS loving and kind to our kids but can also be stern and have high standards for them at the same time. I guess in wondering if you saw this what you would say/think/do? Do you think it's a big deal??

*I know people are going to ask if I was "spying" on her, and the answer is no! I walked in the house and they were upstairs (large house) so didn't hear me come in. When I heard her talking loudly to DC, I paused before I went in the room to see if it would complicate matters if I entered at that moment. Thats when I saw her do what she did.

Get over it. Your brat was acting like a evil little monster and the nanny was trying to get his attention. He is lucky he didn't get a slap across the face. Instead of complaining about the nanny why don't you discipline your brat of a child or stay home and raise him up to be a good person instead of an entitles demon child.

Ah, here comes the Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here.

I think it's important that the child have eye contact with his or her caretaker when being lectured, or told something is unsafe/off limits. Many. Hidden tend to look away, and so *gently* holding his or her face, and bringing his eyes to you is no big deal. But grabbing a child out of anger is never ok, bring it up and aske her.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, I would not be happy if I had witnessed that. If she talks to him/disciplines him one way when you're around, and another when you're not, that would concern me, too.

[Anonymous]

How old is the child? For my preschool son, it's the only way I can assure he will hear what I'm saying. I make him repeat back to me what I'm correcting him about later -- if we couldn't assure eye contact, he never remembers what I just told him.

[Anonymous]

A good nanny only needs to raise an eyebrow. Seriously I never have to yell, touch or physically move the kids in my care. They respect me and I respect them. This behavior is totally inappropriate!