DB is LAZY and it drives me NUTS!

[Anonymous]

I'm a full time nanny to three children, a 4-month-old boy, 19-month-old girl, and another little girl who will be three in January. I really love this family, the kids are adorable and I love them, MB is great, we get along very well and really click on how to deal with the children. My time spent with DB is usually short, which I'm thankful for because although very nice, he is just lazy. If I come in and he's been with the kids all morning the house is a mess, the kids have food all over themselves, their is dried spit up in the crib, old diapers everywhere and he won't clean up after himself. On the rare occasions when he's home while I have the kids he's no help. He'll watch Battle Star Galatica or play World of War raft all day. Hes like a 14-year-old stuck in a 46-year-old mans body. MB and I literally do everything, I do dishes, and the kids laundry, some vacuuming, and she does their laundry, the taxes, anything else (yard work and housework) is hired out. They both work constantly in high stress jobs, but I feel like MB does 100x more, because she keeps the house together and when I work with her is very interactive with the kids. I kinda feel for him because MB informed me he never wanted kids, and she fought to get all three. Still, he has kids and shouldn't leave all the work up to his wife.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately there is not much you can do about this. I feel for you b/c I imagine that it is beyond frustrating to not only clean up after him but also watch what MB goes through. He is ultimately MB's problem, and if she isn't willing to speak up and ask him to pitch in more around the house it will never happen. Go about your day and pretend as if he doesn't exist once you take over in the mornings. Dwelling on it will only lead to more frustration and that won't end well.

[Anonymous]

I don't know ... 3 kids under 3 that I didn't want to begin with ... I might feel like the fact that I was a loving father and did the little that was asked of me was all anyone had the right to expect. It's childish, but good grief, that's a lot of work and a lot of babies even if you were 100% committed to begin with. I kind of wonder if MB didn't marry him because he was so laid back and willing to go along with whatever she wanted as long as he didn't have to do anything.

MB with two tiny tots and possibly a third on the way here, BTW, and I wasn't sure I wanted even one to begin with (obviously I changed my mind once they got here). But #2 and #3 wouldn't have even been a possibility if we hadn't both been on board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately there is not much you can do about this. I feel for you b/c I imagine that it is beyond frustrating to not only clean up after him but also watch what MB goes through. He is ultimately MB's problem, and if she isn't willing to speak up and ask him to pitch in more around the house it will never happen. Go about your day and pretend as if he doesn't exist once you take over in the mornings. Dwelling on it will only lead to more frustration and that won't end well.

MB DOES verbalized to him that he is not doing his fair share, and she verbalized (rants) to me. I've taken the blame for his mistakes numerous times just so I don't have to deal with the fall out. He is just careless, I mean...he obviously loves his kids, but not really into caring for them, and not good at it either. He once accidently wipes DD bottom with a Clorox wipe! I practically screamed "Not a wipe!" and he was like "Oops" and non chalantly recipes her with a diaper wipe. As soon as he left, I put her in the tub and she broke out of course, very bad. He's left mess in reach of the kids, just worries me, and I don't want to take the blame for a y big problems. He also tries to take credit if I do dishes\laundry. I don't want to piss him off, he's my boss to, but MB obviously wears the pants, so she's whom Im concerned with pleasing.

[Anonymous]

This is SO not your business. For all you know maybe he makes twice as much as she does and essentially pays your salary to do the work on his behalf. Be glad there is work for you to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is SO not your business. For all you know maybe he makes twice as much as she does and essentially pays your salary to do the work on his behalf. Be glad there is work for you to do.

OP- it IS my business if I'm cleaning after him and if I feel he's being neglectful at times. It's more of a rant, than me asking for advice. I don't see how his pay matters, they both work, I'm tired of men feeling like their exempt from any domestic work. I'm about to stop covering for him.

[Anonymous]

OP please stop covering for him. Your MB deserves to know what he is really like when she isn't around. I'm sorry that you have to put up with his crap. Sounds almost like he is another child you have to care for.

[Anonymous]

Blame MB.

[Anonymous]

1. Do not clean up after him.
2. MB knew he was lazy when she married him, after she married him, and prior to forcing him to have 3 kids. What did she expect?
3. Hire a maid and all 3 of you and can stop stressing.

[Anonymous]

Ahh...Men. Can't live with them...Cannot live without them.