What are we missing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous responses here, as always, sorry, OP.

WFH mom and dad here with nanny and toddler boy. We are very deferential to our nanny that when she is working she is in charge and we do not intervene unless she asks for a hand (which she almost never does). We are also not prisoners in our offices who are required to hide and starve. When we come out to get food or run errands we also make eye contact with our son and wave or give him a kiss. JFC - you're his PARENTS in your own home. Of course you want to enjoy his presence. (Also the same people scolding you would also probably throw stones if you WAH and 'abandoned' him to be raised by someone else - it's just misogyny, whatever mom does is wrong.)

ANYWAY, trust your gut. Sounds like your nanny is not comfortable or has run her course. Give her a good honest effort to talk about it - ask her point blank. "We love you and so does DS but we've sensed this, is there something in the job that is making you unhappy?" Maybe she wants a raise depending on how long she's been with you? If it doesn't end in clarity and / or improvement, time to hit those nanny job boards / neighborhood listserves, etc. Not everyone is cut out for everything.

Oh and time outs are not the solution at all ages for all kids, smh...

You’re ridiculous if you believe what you’re saying! I’ve been a nanny to a family for the past 3 years, the first 2 we spent inside at home
Because of covid, the last year has been very hard! MB works from home every other week a lot, but every other week only a few hours as she works 12h weekend shifts (she’s ER dr). She’s around non stop, dictating what we should do, and she has so much “anxiety” that her kids is full of anxiety , scared of eating bc she taught him he could choke to death, he’s scared of booster seats bc he could die in it, he could die on the stairs and so on. Every 5 min she yells at him and makes him Cry, then when he eats I need to watch him like a hawk and repeat don’t choke every 2 seconds, she hears everything, makes comments sometimes.

Would you like it, if your boss was watching you in your office all day long, or if your boss called you twice or 3 times every hour to check on you????
Let’s see how you would like it!

Quit, because we've heard enough about your job... you've tried to highjack this thread after being called out in the others.

[Anonymous]

OP. you are driving her crazy.

[Anonymous]

Micromanaging is the worst thing any parent can do to a nanny. I will quit the first day i see that. Parents need to understand that things have changed after Covid for nannies.
Nannying is a job to us like it is to you in your offices, like you would not like someone to hover over you and treat you like a servant, same way it is hard for nannies to work with parents working from home. Its not that we are doing anything wrong or different, its that it makes our jobs super hard, becuase the children and harder to work with with parents being around. Wether you are in the office working and come out once, you are still there and the kids know that, the nanny can never be firm or discipline them, becuase they will run to the parents.
It is hard to work and have a schedule and control on the way you do things when parents are constantly around.
Before covid we nannies literally raised the kids, they knew we were the boss, they knew what is acceptable and not, manners were taught, kids were disciplined. If you see kids now, most are ill mannered, parents wait on them, its just a mess. if you find a good nanny, cherish them and keep them for your childs well being.