considering an au pair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to screening by country we also look for girls who have lived on their own and had to provide for themselves to some degree at least --

Yes this. You want to find someone with some degree of independence.

[Anonymous]

There are good au pair agencies out there. They will walk you through selecting someone who has a similar vibe to your family and provide good interview questions, tips and more.

[Anonymous]

We are on AP #6 and have had a great experience. We also know people who had bad experiences. The most important thing, IMHO, is to have realistic expectations and to get the AP for all the right reasons. We are an international family and all our APs came from my home country to help with language immersion for my kids. All our APs have been good-to-great. We still have contact to all of them (even the just good ones), they come to visit and we see some of them when I go back to my home country. The analogy that I frequently use when describing APs is having a niece from your estranged siblings come and live with you for a gap year. She gets room and board in exchange for childcare. You are not getting a professional nanny, you are getting a baby sitter. You are also not getting an employee, you are getting a family member who will bring all her problems to you: bad break-up, mean-girls in her circle of friends, being homesick, etc. So you have to be prepared and have the mental bandwidth to onboard a new family member and to help her make her year here fun. We love that the program brings all these young women (and their friends) into our lives. We love watching them mature, become more independent, and pursue their interests. We love the energy that they bring and we love it that they all love our children. So for us, the program has been a big hit! We have another 2.5 years left and we will be leaving the program with mixed feelings.

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are on AP #6 and have had a great experience. We also know people who had bad experiences. The most important thing, IMHO, is to have realistic expectations and to get the AP for all the right reasons. We are an international family and all our APs came from my home country to help with language immersion for my kids. All our APs have been good-to-great. We still have contact to all of them (even the just good ones), they come to visit and we see some of them when I go back to my home country. The analogy that I frequently use when describing APs is having a niece from your estranged siblings come and live with you for a gap year. She gets room and board in exchange for childcare. You are not getting a professional nanny, you are getting a baby sitter. You are also not getting an employee, you are getting a family member who will bring all her problems to you: bad break-up, mean-girls in her circle of friends, being homesick, etc. So you have to be prepared and have the mental bandwidth to onboard a new family member and to help her make her year here fun. We love that the program brings all these young women (and their friends) into our lives. We love watching them mature, become more independent, and pursue their interests. We love the energy that they bring and we love it that they all love our children. So for us, the program has been a big hit! We have another 2.5 years left and we will be leaving the program with mixed feelings.

Good luck, OP!

I agree with above except that many act entitled to the salary and the perks of being an employee while also expecting the benefits of being a family member. It's extremely difficult to navigate. I've hosted and had mostly good experiences, but the dichotomy of them expecting to be treated as an employee who is off the clock and also the family member who needs a ride to a friend's house or extra cash for gas is truly difficult.

[Anonymous]

We had many amazing au pairs. All from Europe. We have had one just ok au pair (stuck it out) and one bad au pair (rematched).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had many amazing au pairs. All from Europe. We have had one just ok au pair (stuck it out) and one bad au pair (rematched).

What agency did you use?

[Anonymous]

Cultural Care. I wouldn't really base by choice on recommendations here bc everyone's experience is defined, largely, but their LCC. So, maybe reach out and connect with the relevant LCCs and see what you think of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cultural Care. I wouldn't really base by choice on recommendations here bc everyone's experience is defined, largely, but their LCC. So, maybe reach out and connect with the relevant LCCs and see what you think of them?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Male au pair for young toddlers? Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male au pair for young toddlers? Any thoughts?

There was a pretty big thread in the main forum about bias against male babysitters. The bias is there for good reasons.

I have 2 boys and would only consider a male AP when they're tweens or early teens and need someone to drive them to activities and plays sports with them. There's no way I'd have a young male living in my house when my boys are toddlers that need more hands on care. Not to say there's no young man capable of tender care, but the chances of finding a good one is much slimmer than with females. Plus there's also the small but increased risk of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male au pair for young toddlers? Any thoughts?

There was a pretty big thread in the main forum about bias against male babysitters. The bias is there for good reasons.

I have 2 boys and would only consider a male AP when they're tweens or early teens and need someone to drive them to activities and plays sports with them. There's no way I'd have a young male living in my house when my boys are toddlers that need more hands on care. Not to say there's no young man capable of tender care, but the chances of finding a good one is much slimmer than with females. Plus there's also the small but increased risk of abuse.

Female privilege right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male au pair for young toddlers? Any thoughts?

There was a pretty big thread in the main forum about bias against male babysitters. The bias is there for good reasons.

I have 2 boys and would only consider a male AP when they're tweens or early teens and need someone to drive them to activities and plays sports with them. There's no way I'd have a young male living in my house when my boys are toddlers that need more hands on care. Not to say there's no young man capable of tender care, but the chances of finding a good one is much slimmer than with females. Plus there's also the small but increased risk of abuse.

Female privilege right there.

What an asinine comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male au pair for young toddlers? Any thoughts?

There was a pretty big thread in the main forum about bias against male babysitters. The bias is there for good reasons.

I have 2 boys and would only consider a male AP when they're tweens or early teens and need someone to drive them to activities and plays sports with them. There's no way I'd have a young male living in my house when my boys are toddlers that need more hands on care. Not to say there's no young man capable of tender care, but the chances of finding a good one is much slimmer than with females. Plus there's also the small but increased risk of abuse.

Female privilege right there.

What an asinine comment.

Both comments were dumb.