Which AP agency would you suggest going with?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP! I remember being in your shoes and it is great that you found this message board to help you decide whether or not to take the step of getting an au pair.

Regarding the agency - honestly, it really doesn’t make that big of a difference. You can sign up for as many as you want - don’t feel limited to one agency. The AP program is governed by Federal law, so it will be generally the same deal regardless of which agency you go with. You will find different applicant pools with each agency and the matching process will differ slightly. For example, I have always hated using Cultural Care because the matching process is super competitive and stressful, despite their huge pool of applicants. The other agencies aren’t much better, but we have always had more luck with Au Pair Care with regard to matching (although I did not like the Area Director/LCC that we had with them). You should also look at their rematch/refund policies (and don’t assume that you are not going to rematch, it is not uncommon).

A word of warning since you are talking to agencies - don’t forget that they are businesses and that their number one goal is to get you into their program so that you will pay them the hefty $9,000 annual agency fee. Sometimes they will offer good advice, but they will not always have the well-being of you and your family as their number one concern, even though they may act helpful and say that they care. Also, just be aware that basically anyone can sign up to be an au pair - there is very little screening done by any of the agencies. So don’t assume that someone will be good just because they are listed on an au pair site. It is completely on you to figure out their qualifications during the interviews.

Based on the requirements that you mentioned, I think that many au pairs would find your requirements somewhat strict and difficult. Most of them don’t do that much housework or shopping (and as others have said, you may be surprised at how much guidance you will have to provide). I have found that many are also very turned off by weekend hours, or even a schedule where they would be working the full 45 hours. I would suggest that if you do decide to sign up with the program, be as honest as possible - there are a lot of them who just want to have an easy/fun gap year, so you will need to find someone who is actually willing to work. This can be hard to discern over video-chat and rematch sucks if you end up with someone who doesn’t work out.

Final thing is that costs can creep up on you with this program. The agencies advertise what seems like a super low annual price, but there are a lot of extra costs (examples are gifts, eating out, extra person on vacation, car accidents, etc). I think that $30,000+ per year is really more of a better estimate for the actual cost of hosting an au pair. Still cheaper than a FT nanny, but not that much so.

Good luck in making your decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello.

My significant other and I live in the Richmond VA area, and are both physicians with somewhat wonky schedules (which includes working some weekends and getting called in at odd hours when on call). We have three young children in elementary school, and are considering hosting an AP to start this summer. Ideally, the AP would pick the kids up from school (which is within walking distance), help them do their homework, and cook dinner for them (and perhaps for us some evenings?). It would be amazing if she could do their laundry, do some cleaning up after them, pack their lunches, do the grocery shopping for them, and/or help with their dishes. It would also be extremely helpful if she is available to watch the children during the day in the event of sickness, half day, or school closure.

Our kids are currently in afterschool care, and it appears that it may be about cost-neutral to host an AP (afterschool care is about $800/month for each).

Does this sound like a reasonable set of basic expectations for an AP?

We have talked with three agencies (Au Pair in America, Agent Au Pair, and Cultural Care Au Pair). Our initial impression is that the latter seems to have the largest network and most support around this area.

My significant other and I would greatly appreciate any input or experiences the participants on this forum may have had (positive or negative) with any of these agencies that may help guide which we go with, and to know if there is another agency that we should reach out to?

Thank you - we would be sincerely grateful for any thoughts or input

Honestly, it sounds like you might be better off with a newish live-in nanny.

They don’t have the limitations on hours/days that APs do, so if there’s no school and you can’t be back in 9-10 hours, it’s no big deal. They also are required to have 1.5 days off, and many prefer a weekday vs weekend (it’s a lot easier to handle appointments, errands and things for yourself during the week).

A live-in nanny who speaks English should be able to help kids with homework and even serve as a liaison with the school and teachers.

A live-in nanny/housekeeper could handle most or all of the housekeeping while kids are in school, with a less done if kids are home. APs are not supposed to cook for the family (unless they choose to do so, which is rare), and they aren’t supposed to be asked to do more than their share of housework (split with either just parents or with kids as well).

With an AP, there’s an expectation that you will take them with you when the family goes out to dinner, if they’re home. Some want to come on vacation. There are other perks that add up.

The room and board requirement would be the same, but live-in nannies have usually lived on their own before (you might find a young woman straight out of her parents’ home, but that’s rare), so they’re usually better at cleaning up after themselves and being reasonable about groceries.

Live-in nannies are paid hourly, but unless you’re in a location that requires it (MD), there’s no overtime requirement. I think you could probably find what you want if you offer 45-50 hours at $15-20/hour ($675-1000/week), depending on specifics of the job and the nanny’s qualifications.

[Anonymous]

We have hosted au pairs for seven years and I can count on one hand the number of times that our au pair joined us for a dinner out when she was not working and didn’t have to come. They really don’t want to have dinner with you and your kids if not required, so those expenses are not real.

Ours have all learned pretty quickly how to do laundry and cook basic food for the kids. I have never asked them to grocery shop and I think they would be a big ask.

We use evening hours (3-9) every weekday and are very clear about our schedule up front. We have never had trouble finding someone but we are often rejected a lot during the interview process. We tend to pick older au pairs who don’t care as much about hanging out with friends during the evening and would rather have their days free to take classes.

[Anonymous]

We use Interexchange and are happy because we have a good coordinator in our area. None of ours have done a great job with laundry. I do the washing but they all do a decent job folding and sorting it. They change the kids' sheets regularly on their beds.

Ours always unstack the dishwasher and do general tidying up in the kids' rooms. Our biggest focus has been on taking care of our kids. Grocery shopping would probably be easier for you if you had them drive to the supermarket and pop the trunk while the store brought out the bags of food. We haven't ever had our APs do our grocery shopping. The deal breakers for us is being on time for school dropoff and pickups. Being responsible and watching over kids while they are doing their homework but not sitting next to them while they are completing it.