How many sick days are normal?

[Anonymous]

We give unlimited sick and vacation to our nanny and she takes maybe 3 days sick all year. Makes her appointments for after work or at like 4 pm so we dont have to find alternative coverage all day. We need a couple months notice for vacation but we always work with her on her plans and make sure we can flex our own work and bring in grandparents etc. A lot of it is immune system but also attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP, but you really do need to find a new nanny. I have a friend in your position who has an equally unreliable nanny and I gave her the same advice.

Sensitive question: is your nanny foreign-born? Does she have family obligations that she’s hiding?

Anyway our nanny is 66 yrs lad and has never called in sick in three years. She’s only left early twice due to not feeling well but would have stuck it out if we needed her. She took two days of planned PTO after her vaccine and booster and we planned around it.

No, she's US-born. I suppose it's possible she is sneaking time for family obligations she hasn't shared, but I don't think it's likely (she is chatty and doesn't strike me as someone good at keeping that kind of secret).

OK. I'm going to have a hard conversation with her on Monday and say that this latest string of absences has created a lot of stress for our family, and she's now missed an entire month of work this year and the year's not even over yet. We are fond of her, we don't want to fire someone who loves the kids, but if she can't get the absences under control we will have to look for someone else.

Go ahead and give her your talk, but I’ll tell you right now what is going to happen: she’ll stop taking sick days through the end of the year in the hopes she still gets a holiday bonus, and come the new year she’ll be back to taking lots of sick days. Start looking for a new nanny now.

OP here. That sounds really plausible unfortunately. I think instead of the vague "we need you to get the absences under control" I need to say something specific, like "the next time you take two or more last-minute days off in a two-week period, we will end your employment."

At this point? She needs to have a maximum of 1 last minute (2-3 hours before shift, minimum) call out per month. That’s one this month, one next month. If she can’t handle that, it’s best to know now, so you both can evaluate next steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP, but you really do need to find a new nanny. I have a friend in your position who has an equally unreliable nanny and I gave her the same advice.

Sensitive question: is your nanny foreign-born? Does she have family obligations that she’s hiding?

Anyway our nanny is 66 yrs lad and has never called in sick in three years. She’s only left early twice due to not feeling well but would have stuck it out if we needed her. She took two days of planned PTO after her vaccine and booster and we planned around it.

No, she's US-born. I suppose it's possible she is sneaking time for family obligations she hasn't shared, but I don't think it's likely (she is chatty and doesn't strike me as someone good at keeping that kind of secret).

OK. I'm going to have a hard conversation with her on Monday and say that this latest string of absences has created a lot of stress for our family, and she's now missed an entire month of work this year and the year's not even over yet. We are fond of her, we don't want to fire someone who loves the kids, but if she can't get the absences under control we will have to look for someone else.

Go ahead and give her your talk, but I’ll tell you right now what is going to happen: she’ll stop taking sick days through the end of the year in the hopes she still gets a holiday bonus, and come the new year she’ll be back to taking lots of sick days. Start looking for a new nanny now.

OP here. That sounds really plausible unfortunately. I think instead of the vague "we need you to get the absences under control" I need to say something specific, like "the next time you take two or more last-minute days off in a two-week period, we will end your employment."

At this point? She needs to have a maximum of 1 last minute (2-3 hours before shift, minimum) call out per month. That’s one this month, one next month. If she can’t handle that, it’s best to know now, so you both can evaluate next steps.

By the way, here’s my package, for comparison’s sake:

21 days vacation (7 day workweek), accrued; work with family to try to find convenient times for them, but as long as I give 4 weeks or more of notice and take no more than 7 consecutive days, it won’t be denied.

Unlimited paid sick days, solely for use when sick (no medical appointments), give as much notice as possible; in reality, because I live in, exposure isn’t a concern, so I only call out if absolutely necessary. Doctor’s note if out 2+ days. I think I’ve taken five days in five years.

Pto is unlimited, provided that it’s for appointments that can’t be scheduled while my charge is with another adult AND I work with my employer to schedule as much as possible. Again, I rarely need to do this, but when I do, a shared calendar and 2-3 minutes of texting arrange things so that someone else can be with my charge.

Respect goes both ways. Give the respect you want to get, but don’t allow someone to take advantage of you.

[Anonymous]

New nanny. It sucks but this is a job where showing up on time and ready to work is absolutely critical.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree w/the other posters that you definitely need to get a new Nanny.

Being reliable is very important in this line of work because parents need someone they can depend on to be there when they say they will because finding last-minute childcare is really tough for most families.

I know it’s no fun starting from scratch again to initiate the Nanny search.
However if you postpone it - then yes your job performance will likely be negatively impacted.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been a nanny for 19 years. I’ve taken 3 sick days total. The last one in 2016 when I woke up projectile vomiting and couldn’t stop. I let my boss of 3 years know I needed the day off and she was extremely upset. Only sick day I took at that job which lasted 4 years. I think if I had taken another day I would have been fired .

[Anonymous]

As a nanny myself; I am really impressed, that you have not fired her yet. Her performance as a professional nanny is really poor.

[Anonymous]

20 is the excessive, BUT do you want her chugging Tylenol and cough suppressant and hiding an illness? I feel like that is the other logical outcome..She comes when she has a fever and you all get sick.
I think you do need to talk to her about the impact her absences have on your family and about how hard it is to continue to cover them. But I would think hard about a "if you are sick again..." Line in the sand

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. Our nanny (who also gets Federal Holidays and vacation PTO, the latter of which she exhausted six months in) has taken 21 sick days (which doesn’t include additional paid days off we gave her thinking she might not feel well, such as after each COVID dose), most of which were same-day. She She actually called me this morning to take one. Her contract is up at the end of the month, so we’re just letting it expire, and we already have a new nanny lined up, but it’s been a stressful slog, because we’ve really scrambled to move meetings when she’s cancelled same day. I hope your next nanny (and mine) is more reliable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on why she is taking the sick days but it does seem excessive and I would consider replacing her. I would not pay for the sick days.

It’s different stuff every time. Last week it was the flu. Today it was food poisoning. She’s also called out for migraines, high fevers, bad allergic reactions. I feel awful for her because I think she just has really bad luck and is very vulnerable to illness for whatever reason. But today I just feel broken, like a terrible mom and a terrible employee and a terrible employer. I get sick to my stomach imagining the hiring process again. It takes so much time and I feel like I have none. We’re on so many daycare wait lists too and they’re just not budging because it’s so hard to hire right now.

lol she's lying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When u say 20 days how many of those were same day notice sick days?

12 of them. 5 were prearranged vacation days. 3 were for an injury over a weekend so we at least had notice and could get someone to cover.

So, none of the were consecutive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP, but you really do need to find a new nanny. I have a friend in your position who has an equally unreliable nanny and I gave her the same advice.

Sensitive question: is your nanny foreign-born? Does she have family obligations that she’s hiding?

Anyway our nanny is 66 yrs lad and has never called in sick in three years. She’s only left early twice due to not feeling well but would have stuck it out if we needed her. She took two days of planned PTO after her vaccine and booster and we planned around it.

Same here. Our nanny has unlimited pto pretty much and shs called out sick maybe twice a year. Makes all appointments for after work or like 4:30 pm. And arranges vacation around our schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on why she is taking the sick days but it does seem excessive and I would consider replacing her. I would not pay for the sick days.

It’s different stuff every time. Last week it was the flu. Today it was food poisoning. She’s also called out for migraines, high fevers, bad allergic reactions. I feel awful for her because I think she just has really bad luck and is very vulnerable to illness for whatever reason. But today I just feel broken, like a terrible mom and a terrible employee and a terrible employer. I get sick to my stomach imagining the hiring process again. It takes so much time and I feel like I have none. We’re on so many daycare wait lists too and they’re just not budging because it’s so hard to hire right now.

Sounds like the pregnant women in my office. I would love to get rid of them and only hire men.

[Anonymous]

What are you paying? I wouldn’t do this but I know Nannie’s who prioritize on call babysitting jobs that pay more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP, but you really do need to find a new nanny. I have a friend in your position who has an equally unreliable nanny and I gave her the same advice.

Sensitive question: is your nanny foreign-born? Does she have family obligations that she’s hiding?

Anyway our nanny is 66 yrs lad and has never called in sick in three years. She’s only left early twice due to not feeling well but would have stuck it out if we needed her. She took two days of planned PTO after her vaccine and booster and we planned around it.

No, she's US-born. I suppose it's possible she is sneaking time for family obligations she hasn't shared, but I don't think it's likely (she is chatty and doesn't strike me as someone good at keeping that kind of secret).

OK. I'm going to have a hard conversation with her on Monday and say that this latest string of absences has created a lot of stress for our family, and she's now missed an entire month of work this year and the year's not even over yet. We are fond of her, we don't want to fire someone who loves the kids, but if she can't get the absences under control we will have to look for someone else.

Go ahead and give her your talk, but I’ll tell you right now what is going to happen: she’ll stop taking sick days through the end of the year in the hopes she still gets a holiday bonus, and come the new year she’ll be back to taking lots of sick days. Start looking for a new nanny now.

OP here. That sounds really plausible unfortunately. I think instead of the vague "we need you to get the absences under control" I need to say something specific, like "the next time you take two or more last-minute days off in a two-week period, we will end your employment."

At this point? She needs to have a maximum of 1 last minute (2-3 hours before shift, minimum) call out per month. That’s one this month, one next month. If she can’t handle that, it’s best to know now, so you both can evaluate next steps.

By the way, here’s my package, for comparison’s sake:

21 days vacation (7 day workweek), accrued; work with family to try to find convenient times for them, but as long as I give 4 weeks or more of notice and take no more than 7 consecutive days, it won’t be denied.

Unlimited paid sick days, solely for use when sick (no medical appointments), give as much notice as possible; in reality, because I live in, exposure isn’t a concern, so I only call out if absolutely necessary. Doctor’s note if out 2+ days. I think I’ve taken five days in five years.

Pto is unlimited, provided that it’s for appointments that can’t be scheduled while my charge is with another adult AND I work with my employer to schedule as much as possible. Again, I rarely need to do this, but when I do, a shared calendar and 2-3 minutes of texting arrange things so that someone else can be with my charge.

Respect goes both ways. Give the respect you want to get, but don’t allow someone to take advantage of you.

This is unreasonable for most families. Most people don't have that flexibility.