New Host Parent Question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Most countries that APs come from are less uptight around body issues than most Americans. A 20-year-old German is most likely going to be unfazed as you walk to the shower in shorts. Actually, your home gym set up sounds great and I would note the Peloton as a perk.

2. Fellow card-carrier here. I would bring up MMJ prior to matching, but not in an initial meeting. Most will not care, but you want to know up front if you happen to be talking to someone in the minority that is put off for whatever reason. At this point, I would posit a majority of APs are headed to areas where recreational use is legal or decriminalized anyway (between WA, OR, CA, MA, CT, NY, NJ, DC, VA and IL I assume that’s most APs). It’s part of the exchange at this point.

While I agree in theory, it is still a violation of a J-1 visa to have weed or use weed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wear a robe - I think its yucky to be shirtless and sweaty when you pass someone in the hall. This is part of being a roommate.

Not the OP, but I'm not a roommate in my own damn house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear a robe - I think its yucky to be shirtless and sweaty when you pass someone in the hall. This is part of being a roommate.

Not the OP, but I'm not a roommate in my own damn house.

Yes. Yes you are.

[Anonymous]

My husband also has a home gym and walks from gym to our bedroom shirtless. It is 100% not a problem. Do y’all not go to the beach or the pool with your au pair?!

That said, he doesn’t linger or try to engage her without a shirt on. If you’re just heading to your room for a shower, I don’t see a problem. If you are hanging around the house or want her to notice you shirtless, ew.

Think about how you will use weed discreetly. I think it’s 100% inappropriate to use it anywhere other than outside or your bedroom/bathroom, because all other areas are considered accessible to the au pair. You may get an au pair who stays in her room a lot or you may get one who likes to spend her time in your common areas. So if you thought you’d be able to toke up in the family room while watching a movie, forget it.

I would just generally ask interviewees whether they are ok with someone legally using weed. Wouldn’t go into much more detail as it’s not really their business as long as you don’t make it their business (doing it around them).

[Anonymous]

OP here:

Really appreciate everyone weighing in. Aside from the person who thinks I’m an exhibitionniste junkie they were good takes.

I’m going to go with wearing a shirt for workouts. Based on the replies, I think this is the safest and most respectful way to go. Obviously if I’m at the beach or pool it’s whatever.

I also plan on bringing up MJ usage ahead of time during later interviews. I’d be discrete and keep it out of common areas but it’s better to be upfront and they can decide if it’s they are comfortable with it. This way it’s not a surprise..

Thanks again!