Not sure I can do it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

Kids are 9 and 12. Older one has motor delays and finds doing things like tucking sheets under a heavy double bed very difficult, but is picky about how her bed is made due to sensory issues. 9 year old is small for his age and also struggles with the tucking, and also is particular. Both kids strip all their sheets in the morning on bed making day and take them to the laundry room. They also have other chores such as putting away their laundry, and 12 year old folds it sometimes too. Sometimes if we have a lot going on after school/in the evening and its bed day or laundry day, I ask the au pair to do all those chores or they won't get done. Older one is sometimes anxious to leave and forgets to brush teeth. 9 year old is, well, 9, and more interested in beyblades than toothbrushing.

Anyway, these are just examples. She has also forgotten medications, water bottles, mittens, school agendas and even lunch bags. Having said that, I find it interesting that this and another poster feel the need to give me advice as if it's not valid for me to expect an AP to do the child-related tasks that I have clearly and repeatedly requested.

Just trying to figure out why you’re having AP do things the kids are old enough to do.

Sounds like you need written lists for the kids. One in the bedroom or bathroom for morning routine, one by the door they exit to go to school. Possibly one in the kitchen or bedroom for afternoon/evening, depending on when you get home.

While I think your AP is falling down on the job, it doesn’t sound like you’re requiring your kids to take responsibility for everything they should.

Forgotten lunch or agenda? That’s on the child. Every elementary school I know requires kids to take responsibility for their backpack, lunchbox, etc.

Agree. Funny how often people complain how the AP falls short, yet they’re creating the same issues with their own children by not requiring age appropriate behavior and responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

Kids are 9 and 12. Older one has motor delays and finds doing things like tucking sheets under a heavy double bed very difficult, but is picky about how her bed is made due to sensory issues. 9 year old is small for his age and also struggles with the tucking, and also is particular. Both kids strip all their sheets in the morning on bed making day and take them to the laundry room. They also have other chores such as putting away their laundry, and 12 year old folds it sometimes too. Sometimes if we have a lot going on after school/in the evening and its bed day or laundry day, I ask the au pair to do all those chores or they won't get done. Older one is sometimes anxious to leave and forgets to brush teeth. 9 year old is, well, 9, and more interested in beyblades than toothbrushing.

Anyway, these are just examples. She has also forgotten medications, water bottles, mittens, school agendas and even lunch bags. Having said that, I find it interesting that this and another poster feel the need to give me advice as if it's not valid for me to expect an AP to do the child-related tasks that I have clearly and repeatedly requested.

Just trying to figure out why you’re having AP do things the kids are old enough to do.

Sounds like you need written lists for the kids. One in the bedroom or bathroom for morning routine, one by the door they exit to go to school. Possibly one in the kitchen or bedroom for afternoon/evening, depending on when you get home.

While I think your AP is falling down on the job, it doesn’t sound like you’re requiring your kids to take responsibility for everything they should.

Forgotten lunch or agenda? That’s on the child. Every elementary school I know requires kids to take responsibility for their backpack, lunchbox, etc.

I don’t understand why you feel the need to give me parenting / AP job description advice. My kids know the routine and have responsibilities, the AP is there to help keep them on track. If she forgets to make sure they have their lunch bags, it’s me who gets the phone call and has to drive to the school with it (she doesn’t drive).

So forget about a refund or anything else. Put her into rematch now. Clearly, you’re not happy with her. So, cut it off.

I hope she finds a family that’s a better match for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

Kids are 9 and 12. Older one has motor delays and finds doing things like tucking sheets under a heavy double bed very difficult, but is picky about how her bed is made due to sensory issues. 9 year old is small for his age and also struggles with the tucking, and also is particular. Both kids strip all their sheets in the morning on bed making day and take them to the laundry room. They also have other chores such as putting away their laundry, and 12 year old folds it sometimes too. Sometimes if we have a lot going on after school/in the evening and its bed day or laundry day, I ask the au pair to do all those chores or they won't get done. Older one is sometimes anxious to leave and forgets to brush teeth. 9 year old is, well, 9, and more interested in beyblades than toothbrushing.

Anyway, these are just examples. She has also forgotten medications, water bottles, mittens, school agendas and even lunch bags. Having said that, I find it interesting that this and another poster feel the need to give me advice as if it's not valid for me to expect an AP to do the child-related tasks that I have clearly and repeatedly requested.

Just trying to figure out why you’re having AP do things the kids are old enough to do.

Sounds like you need written lists for the kids. One in the bedroom or bathroom for morning routine, one by the door they exit to go to school. Possibly one in the kitchen or bedroom for afternoon/evening, depending on when you get home.

While I think your AP is falling down on the job, it doesn’t sound like you’re requiring your kids to take responsibility for everything they should.

Forgotten lunch or agenda? That’s on the child. Every elementary school I know requires kids to take responsibility for their backpack, lunchbox, etc.

Agree. Funny how often people complain how the AP falls short, yet they’re creating the same issues with their own children by not requiring age appropriate behavior and responsibilities.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

Kids are 9 and 12. Older one has motor delays and finds doing things like tucking sheets under a heavy double bed very difficult, but is picky about how her bed is made due to sensory issues. 9 year old is small for his age and also struggles with the tucking, and also is particular. Both kids strip all their sheets in the morning on bed making day and take them to the laundry room. They also have other chores such as putting away their laundry, and 12 year old folds it sometimes too. Sometimes if we have a lot going on after school/in the evening and its bed day or laundry day, I ask the au pair to do all those chores or they won't get done. Older one is sometimes anxious to leave and forgets to brush teeth. 9 year old is, well, 9, and more interested in beyblades than toothbrushing.

Anyway, these are just examples. She has also forgotten medications, water bottles, mittens, school agendas and even lunch bags. Having said that, I find it interesting that this and another poster feel the need to give me advice as if it's not valid for me to expect an AP to do the child-related tasks that I have clearly and repeatedly requested.

Just trying to figure out why you’re having AP do things the kids are old enough to do.

Sounds like you need written lists for the kids. One in the bedroom or bathroom for morning routine, one by the door they exit to go to school. Possibly one in the kitchen or bedroom for afternoon/evening, depending on when you get home.

While I think your AP is falling down on the job, it doesn’t sound like you’re requiring your kids to take responsibility for everything they should.

Forgotten lunch or agenda? That’s on the child. Every elementary school I know requires kids to take responsibility for their backpack, lunchbox, etc.

I don’t understand why you feel the need to give me parenting / AP job description advice. My kids know the routine and have responsibilities, the AP is there to help keep them on track. If she forgets to make sure they have their lunch bags, it’s me who gets the phone call and has to drive to the school with it (she doesn’t drive).

So forget about a refund or anything else. Put her into rematch now. Clearly, you’re not happy with her. So, cut it off.

I hope she finds a family that’s a better match for her.

LOL, yea a family who would love to match with an AuPair who cannot follow simple instructions.

Had one such AuPair, she did not find a family. I gave an honest assessment when the prospective families contacted me for a referral. For the greater good of eveyrone, these AuPairs need to be weeded out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

Kids are 9 and 12. Older one has motor delays and finds doing things like tucking sheets under a heavy double bed very difficult, but is picky about how her bed is made due to sensory issues. 9 year old is small for his age and also struggles with the tucking, and also is particular. Both kids strip all their sheets in the morning on bed making day and take them to the laundry room. They also have other chores such as putting away their laundry, and 12 year old folds it sometimes too. Sometimes if we have a lot going on after school/in the evening and its bed day or laundry day, I ask the au pair to do all those chores or they won't get done. Older one is sometimes anxious to leave and forgets to brush teeth. 9 year old is, well, 9, and more interested in beyblades than toothbrushing.

Anyway, these are just examples. She has also forgotten medications, water bottles, mittens, school agendas and even lunch bags. Having said that, I find it interesting that this and another poster feel the need to give me advice as if it's not valid for me to expect an AP to do the child-related tasks that I have clearly and repeatedly requested.

Just trying to figure out why you’re having AP do things the kids are old enough to do.

Sounds like you need written lists for the kids. One in the bedroom or bathroom for morning routine, one by the door they exit to go to school. Possibly one in the kitchen or bedroom for afternoon/evening, depending on when you get home.

While I think your AP is falling down on the job, it doesn’t sound like you’re requiring your kids to take responsibility for everything they should.

Forgotten lunch or agenda? That’s on the child. Every elementary school I know requires kids to take responsibility for their backpack, lunchbox, etc.

Ugh sounds like you're falling down on the comprehension and tact job. I have to guess you're being either deliberately antagonizing, or you are tactlessly oblivious. If you are the former there's nothing more to be said. If you are the latter then please try to re-read what you are writing before sending it off into the anonymous interwebs. You're not being helpful and are derailing the conversation. PP has no need to defend against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

What does it matter? She has been instructed to make the kids beds in a certain manner. YOUR issue with OPs parenting has no bearing on this dud of an AuPair who cannot follow simple instructions. Making kids beds are well within the program rules.

For a 9 and a 12 year old? I don’t care what kind of sensory issues these kids have, they can make their own bed. Way to teach them that they are snowflakes. However will the survive in real life without an AP. What in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditto in many respects - no singing, not really needy, but lordy lordy lordy even after 6 months she can't follow clearly laid out lists in an app, ignores written instructions that are clearly left for her on her part of the whiteboard, forgets how to make the kids' beds the way they like (or just can't be bothered), pays no attention to whether they have brushed their teeth ... etc. As with PP another issue is that she is a child and has zero authority over our 12 year old daughter. My annoyance started to show clearly about two months ago and I let her know I was finding it very stressful to micro manage her. We had a hard reset where I actually suggested the end was nigh, and a few weeks later things went downhill yet again and I pointed this out. She has decided to go home early but will be with us for another month. While we would so love to have another au pair who will be a valued member of the family and genuinely helpful, as has been the case in the past, we think we're out as the the high chance of stress and disappointment means it is not worth it for us anymore.

Why aren’t the kids doing it then? How old are your other kids, if you have a 12yo? While I do think preteens need one reminder, that reminder could easily be given as a list if this is a preteen who forgets daily things like brushing teeth...

What does it matter? She has been instructed to make the kids beds in a certain manner. YOUR issue with OPs parenting has no bearing on this dud of an AuPair who cannot follow simple instructions. Making kids beds are well within the program rules.

For a 9 and a 12 year old? I don’t care what kind of sensory issues these kids have, they can make their own bed. Way to teach them that they are snowflakes. However will the survive in real life without an AP. What in the world.

I did not make a bed, run a load of laundry, load or u load a dishwasher, operate a vacuum, nor have a single chore my entire childhood. I grew up with household staff. I manage quite well in this world. Well enough to also have a housekeeper and an AuPair. I can assure you the OPs children will be able to survive life not making their own beds.