Leaving Nanny Share & Taking Nanny

[Anonymous]

I am the pp. I agree it gives places for them to argue. Which is why it is so important to keep repeating the manta, this is no longer the arrangement we want and no back down. Without any details about why they are leaving (nap schedule, don’t want three kids in the share) it feels very random and more hurtful. Yes, this is a business transaction and you are “firing”’the other family and in firing it is best not to give too many details, but since this is also a more personal relationship, giving them something helps soften the blow (in my opinion). They will be super pissed off but later can say “well the nap thing is just that important to us so fine.”’ With no information it will forever be something they don’t have closure with - and since you might still have to see them for a month or more, it will be very stressful

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t give as much information as other people are suggesting. Less information = less for the other family to argue about. Say you have decided to get a nanny just for your child. Full stop. No need to get into why, other than it is what works best for your family at this point. No need to discuss who the nanny will be. If they ask, you can say you’re securing a full time nanny. If they ask the nanny, she can say she is looking for a full time job with one family rather than a share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny should run as fast as she can from both of you.

Ha, she probably should! Luckily she loves us dearly and we love her as if she was family!

I doubt she loves you, the child, yes, but not you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny should run as fast as she can from both of you.

Ha, she probably should! Luckily she loves us dearly and we love her as if she was family!

I doubt she loves you, the child, yes, but not you!

I’d actually argue you’re completely wrong. But, I’ve only known her for five years so what do I know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t give as much information as other people are suggesting. Less information = less for the other family to argue about. Say you have decided to get a nanny just for your child. Full stop. No need to get into why, other than it is what works best for your family at this point. No need to discuss who the nanny will be. If they ask, you can say you’re securing a full time nanny. If they ask the nanny, she can say she is looking for a full time job with one family rather than a share.

I see both POV’s completely and am torn on the approach. We WILL see them occasionally. We live in the same area, use the same grocery store/neighborhood shops, parks, pool, etc and her daughter will likely go to the same preschool as my son. I know no matter how we address it they are going to lash out at us, but I generally think putting some sort of “reason” behind it will make sense to them - now whether or not they agree with that is up for debate ?

The truth is, no - I don’t enjoy dealing with them. I never truly have, but it’s worked for the most part and once nanny share was up and running the interactions were very small with them. I don’t want to be completely heartless in the transition because despite how I feel, I know how stressful childcare changes can be and know that I alone will be causing that pain point for them. I think sticking a “reason” for the change to it and remaining firm (meaning if they try to poke holes, offer solutions, etc) in our reason and decision and just brace ourselves for their reaction, we’ll be fine.