Au Pair asking for Salmon!

[Anonymous]

Sam’s club:
Wild caught Alaskan salmon (frozen) is $24.98/2 pounds

[Anonymous]

Does your family eat salmon? Ours does but only for dinner, and about 2-3 times a month (the price of fresh salmon has gone up drastically at our Costco so we have cut back - thanks for the tips on frozen!). Our AP also asked for salmon - I explained that we do eat it, but only for dinner and since all our dinners are shared, she could have it then, and there would be leftovers so she could have some for lunches. I'm not really willing to buy something like salmon for lunches when the rest of us have sandwiches, salads, soups or leftovers for lunch. I would be ok with the salad dressing, but things like vitamins we would expect our AP to buy for herself.

[Anonymous]

Atlantic salmon is $8/lb at costco and $10/lb at Trader Joe’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I do not know how groceries work in your house. In our house, I would not find this presumptions. But we like fish and healthy choices. As for vitamins, I would ask AP to buy them herself. It's a slippery slope....

[Anonymous]

Former French AP here.

It reminds me about my own experience.
The host mom would ask me from time to time if I needed to add something on the grocery list, which I always said no to because I was too polite. Until I felt like eating something that reminded me of what my mom would cook for me ...

I was used to eating salmon at home, it's not an expensive fish for us. So I asked for it and she told me about what an attitude I had for asking for some food that was expensive and that she'd get it once and that would be it ...

Well, I was very surprised and I would have prefered another reaction. I could have explained it was not expensive back home and she could have told me nicely that maybe it is in America and that they kept that special food for occasions.

I was not asking for the full salmon, just a one meal portion and that was it.

OP, you can get it from time to time, Costco is quite cheap.

I wouldn't get her the vitamins though, that's on her and kind of rude from her to ask you.

[Anonymous]

Deliberately misunderstand and cook salmon for dinner for everyone rather than only buying her salmon.

[Anonymous]

Another option is to buy salmon, explain it's expensive and you will buy her a couple times of month, and show her what more inexpensive options are. I buy our AP sole, cod, and flounder, which she was not used to, but now she really likes. Tilapia is another option. We do not buy farmed fish, and we showed her the prices for wild salmon, and she agreed that eating frozen wild salmon from Costco was fine. Try explaining that most Atlantic salmon is dyed and farm-raised. She would probably prefer wild.

[Anonymous]

Our APs always eat what we eat but sometimes they want one of two items each week that are not on our standard grocery list so we get it for her. If it were my daughter asking for salmon, I would get it. Same for AP who is a part of our family. I would not, however, get the vitamins. That is her responsibility. That is not considered food.

If this is such a budget breaking item for you, then perhaps the AP program is not for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our APs always eat what we eat but sometimes they want one of two items each week that are not on our standard grocery list so we get it for her. If it were my daughter asking for salmon, I would get it. Same for AP who is a part of our family. I would not, however, get the vitamins. That is her responsibility. That is not considered food.

If this is such a budget breaking item for you, then perhaps the AP program is not for you.

Please STOP telling people if they can afford the AP program or not!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I do not know how groceries work in your house. In our house, I would not find this presumptions. But we like fish and healthy choices. As for vitamins, I would ask AP to buy them herself. It's a slippery slope....

I wouldn't find it presumptuous either. If you ask what she wants, expect her to speak up. Some fish, salad dressing and vitamins seem like stuff I'd expect to buy anyway and if I buy it, anyone in the house can eat it.

[Anonymous]

One of our au pairs wanted smoked salmon - like regularly. I explained that it is expensive here, so it would need to be an every once in awhile thing. A few weeks later she went to the grocery store with friends and she came back and said couldn’t believe how expensive smoked salmon was. She said it was like 3xs as much as where she comes from.

Sometimes just taking them to the grocery store with you so they see the price of what they are asking for is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another option is to buy salmon, explain it's expensive and you will buy her a couple times of month, and show her what more inexpensive options are. I buy our AP sole, cod, and flounder, which she was not used to, but now she really likes. Tilapia is another option. We do not buy farmed fish, and we showed her the prices for wild salmon, and she agreed that eating frozen wild salmon from Costco was fine. Try explaining that most Atlantic salmon is dyed and farm-raised. She would probably prefer wild.

+1

I don’t care that the Sam’s club salmon is member’s mark. I absolutely do care that it’s Alaskan wild caught.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it was the fact that it seems like it was APs first week and just assumed that the host family would buy her the vitamins? IDK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was the fact that it seems like it was APs first week and just assumed that the host family would buy her the vitamins? IDK.

https://www.costco.com/kirkland-signature-vitamin-c-1000-mg.%2c-500-tablets.product.10015954.html
They are like $15 for more than she'll likely use. Why would she assume that would be a problem or 'too much'? I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was the fact that it seems like it was APs first week and just assumed that the host family would buy her the vitamins? IDK.

https://www.costco.com/kirkland-signature-vitamin-c-1000-mg.%2c-500-tablets.product.10015954.html
They are like $15 for more than she'll likely use. Why would she assume that would be a problem or 'too much'? I wouldn't.

That is a slippery slope, what is she going to ask next? her acne cream or her weight loss pill?
She is testing the water to see what she can get away with, OP should keep her straight, but yeah Salmon and dressing are fair game. Maybe it is time for OP to include salmon in her diet (once or twice a month) so that the AP is not the only eating the good stuffs