AP doesn’t wash her hands

[Anonymous]

My cousin married a Columbian girl. They don't have running water in her family house.

Just address it, who cares if she's upset.

Former AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would bring her to Bath and Body Works and let her pick out some scents. I just returned from a two-week vacation and I truly couldn't stand the very floral hand soaps that were in the bathrooms of my cottage. Of course I used them, and often, but I really didn't like the scents at all. Sometimes the 'feel' is off-putting, too - the hand soaps in the Disney parks come to mind, they feel slimy to me. B&BW also has foaming hand soaps if she prefers, and you can test them in the store. You can also point out to her that we've got different germs here that her body might not be immune/resistant to and you don't want her to get sick. This makes the whole situation seem courteous instead of embarrassing for her.

I would take her somewhere where the products are less smelly. I brought bath gel and lotion from a similar place for my Japanese host family. They smelled them, said “American scents” and put them away under the sink, where they never used them. Scent preferences are very region-specific, so scent-free might be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a giant bottle of hand sanitizer. Tell AP she needs to use some at particular times: when starting work, after bathroom trips, after diaper changes/helping with bathroom (if you child requires), before meal preparation, etc. Alternatively, she can wash her hands with soap and hot water.

You can't do much if she still ignores you after you tell her point blank to her face AND in writing (put a note on her next week of schedule).

Most APs will adjust and forget a few times before getting used to it if you're very direct about the requirement. However, some APs simply don't care and will disrespect your specific instruction. If this is the case, you'll have bigger issues than hand washing come up.

Thank you, this is a great idea. I'd definitely prefer if she washed her hands with soap and water, but I also don't know how to approach the "I've noticed I don't hear you wash your hands after using the bathroom" issue without sounding a bit creepy. I originally noticed because I used her bathroom a few months ago and I noticed the soap was almost out. I thought to myself that I need to get her some more hand soap but then I forgot. A few days go by and I was in her bathroom again (she shares with my kid) and I noticed that the almost out hand soap was still almost out. Meaning she hadn't used it. After that I realized that any time I hear her in the restroom, I don't hear the water run after the flush, she just comes right out. I had an old roommate that did the same thing, I guess I partially trained myself to listen out for this. I guess I can also ask her if she likes the hand soap in her bathroom or not and if she wants a new type, and if she questions why I'm asking I can say that I've noticed she doesn't use it. In her defense, she grew up very poor and I have a feeling that hand washing wasn't a thing in her home.

I'll have to add hand washing to our handbook for future APs.

She probably didn’t even having running water in her home. I’ve been there on missions trips before, some of the conditions are terrible.

Plenty of people in the US do this too. Have you seen FOx news?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a giant bottle of hand sanitizer. Tell AP she needs to use some at particular times: when starting work, after bathroom trips, after diaper changes/helping with bathroom (if you child requires), before meal preparation, etc. Alternatively, she can wash her hands with soap and hot water.

You can't do much if she still ignores you after you tell her point blank to her face AND in writing (put a note on her next week of schedule).

Most APs will adjust and forget a few times before getting used to it if you're very direct about the requirement. However, some APs simply don't care and will disrespect your specific instruction. If this is the case, you'll have bigger issues than hand washing come up.

Thank you, this is a great idea. I'd definitely prefer if she washed her hands with soap and water, but I also don't know how to approach the "I've noticed I don't hear you wash your hands after using the bathroom" issue without sounding a bit creepy. I originally noticed because I used her bathroom a few months ago and I noticed the soap was almost out. I thought to myself that I need to get her some more hand soap but then I forgot. A few days go by and I was in her bathroom again (she shares with my kid) and I noticed that the almost out hand soap was still almost out. Meaning she hadn't used it. After that I realized that any time I hear her in the restroom, I don't hear the water run after the flush, she just comes right out. I had an old roommate that did the same thing, I guess I partially trained myself to listen out for this. I guess I can also ask her if she likes the hand soap in her bathroom or not and if she wants a new type, and if she questions why I'm asking I can say that I've noticed she doesn't use it. In her defense, she grew up very poor and I have a feeling that hand washing wasn't a thing in her home.

I'll have to add hand washing to our handbook for future APs.

She probably didn’t even having running water in her home. I’ve been there on missions trips before, some of the conditions are terrible.

Oh come on. You really think a Thai AP with enough ability to complete a full application, likely complete with pictures and video, had no running water in her home?

Yes. You live in a sheltered world inside your box.

My AP from El Sallvador had a pit latrine/outhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a giant bottle of hand sanitizer. Tell AP she needs to use some at particular times: when starting work, after bathroom trips, after diaper changes/helping with bathroom (if you child requires), before meal preparation, etc. Alternatively, she can wash her hands with soap and hot water.

You can't do much if she still ignores you after you tell her point blank to her face AND in writing (put a note on her next week of schedule).

Most APs will adjust and forget a few times before getting used to it if you're very direct about the requirement. However, some APs simply don't care and will disrespect your specific instruction. If this is the case, you'll have bigger issues than hand washing come up.

Thank you, this is a great idea. I'd definitely prefer if she washed her hands with soap and water, but I also don't know how to approach the "I've noticed I don't hear you wash your hands after using the bathroom" issue without sounding a bit creepy. I originally noticed because I used her bathroom a few months ago and I noticed the soap was almost out. I thought to myself that I need to get her some more hand soap but then I forgot. A few days go by and I was in her bathroom again (she shares with my kid) and I noticed that the almost out hand soap was still almost out. Meaning she hadn't used it. After that I realized that any time I hear her in the restroom, I don't hear the water run after the flush, she just comes right out. I had an old roommate that did the same thing, I guess I partially trained myself to listen out for this. I guess I can also ask her if she likes the hand soap in her bathroom or not and if she wants a new type, and if she questions why I'm asking I can say that I've noticed she doesn't use it. In her defense, she grew up very poor and I have a feeling that hand washing wasn't a thing in her home.

I'll have to add hand washing to our handbook for future APs.

She probably didn’t even having running water in her home. I’ve been there on missions trips before, some of the conditions are terrible.

Oh come on. You really think a Thai AP with enough ability to complete a full application, likely complete with pictures and video, had no running water in her home?

Yes. You live in a sheltered world inside your box.

My AP from El Sallvador had a pit latrine/outhouse.

Was this a recent AP? I’m just curious since I would imagine State is quite reluctant to grant visas to Salvadorans if Thai people are having a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Do a casual chat like, "I'm not sure if you are aware, but there are different viruses and illnesses here in the US. Better be sure to wash your hands as much as possible so you and the kids stay healthy! You might be especially susceptible since you have not been exposed before. I bought you some new hand soap and sanitizer so you don't get sick."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a giant bottle of hand sanitizer. Tell AP she needs to use some at particular times: when starting work, after bathroom trips, after diaper changes/helping with bathroom (if you child requires), before meal preparation, etc. Alternatively, she can wash her hands with soap and hot water.

You can't do much if she still ignores you after you tell her point blank to her face AND in writing (put a note on her next week of schedule).

Most APs will adjust and forget a few times before getting used to it if you're very direct about the requirement. However, some APs simply don't care and will disrespect your specific instruction. If this is the case, you'll have bigger issues than hand washing come up.

Thank you, this is a great idea. I'd definitely prefer if she washed her hands with soap and water, but I also don't know how to approach the "I've noticed I don't hear you wash your hands after using the bathroom" issue without sounding a bit creepy. I originally noticed because I used her bathroom a few months ago and I noticed the soap was almost out. I thought to myself that I need to get her some more hand soap but then I forgot. A few days go by and I was in her bathroom again (she shares with my kid) and I noticed that the almost out hand soap was still almost out. Meaning she hadn't used it. After that I realized that any time I hear her in the restroom, I don't hear the water run after the flush, she just comes right out. I had an old roommate that did the same thing, I guess I partially trained myself to listen out for this. I guess I can also ask her if she likes the hand soap in her bathroom or not and if she wants a new type, and if she questions why I'm asking I can say that I've noticed she doesn't use it. In her defense, she grew up very poor and I have a feeling that hand washing wasn't a thing in her home.

I'll have to add hand washing to our handbook for future APs.

She probably didn’t even having running water in her home. I’ve been there on missions trips before, some of the conditions are terrible.

Oh come on. You really think a Thai AP with enough ability to complete a full application, likely complete with pictures and video, had no running water in her home?

Yes. You live in a sheltered world inside your box.

My AP from El Sallvador had a pit latrine/outhouse.

Was this a recent AP? I’m just curious since I would imagine State is quite reluctant to grant visas to Salvadorans if Thai people are having a hard time.

The AP from El Salvador was Fall 2018.
Some of the APs come from poor families and they work very hard to save money to become an Au Pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do a casual chat like, "I'm not sure if you are aware, but there are different viruses and illnesses here in the US. Better be sure to wash your hands as much as possible so you and the kids stay healthy! You might be especially susceptible since you have not been exposed before. I bought you some new hand soap and sanitizer so you don't get sick."

This is a great advice!

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised by this. I lived and taught English in Thailand and the Thai people were some of the cleanest I've encountered. I was basically expected to shower at least two times a day in order to be up to their standards of cleanliness.