Is my decision justified?

[Anonymous]

I think you have been very generous and people such as myself and PP would honor our word and gladly go the extra mile when you clearly have been as well.

You shouldn't speak for the other person. She doesn't sound smart. The fact that she thinks asking for an extra couple hours for 3 days (a total of 6 hours only) is a monumental request even though the nanny is being paid an extra 18 hours every week (this totals to $396 per week for not doing a damn thing) for the past several months isn't someone you want to associate yourself with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you have been very generous and people such as myself and PP would honor our word and gladly go the extra mile when you clearly have been as well.

You shouldn't speak for the other person. She doesn't sound smart. The fact that she thinks asking for an extra couple hours for 3 days (a total of 6 hours only) is a monumental request even though the nanny is being paid an extra 18 hours every week (this totals to $396 per week for not doing a damn thing) for the past several months isn't someone you want to associate yourself with.

Umm, she doesn’t. She thinks the nanny shouldn’t have agreed to something and then backed out at the last minute. She thinks the OP’s nanny has a terrible work ethic. I agree with her. You may not be understanding who I am responding to, but that makes you the one who may not be that smart...? I was responding to the reply, had I been responding to the post that was replied to, I would have done so on the initial post. I, as does the PP that I was responding to, think that it was a minor ask in the grand scheme and I would have happily obliged. Additionally, I would never back out of a work commitment at the last minute. But most of these posts seem to think OP’s nanny is not entitled with a poor work ethic!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny who has worked with us for almost 2 years who works for us full-time. We really like and trust her, however, things have not been so great recently.

She took a two-week vacation months ago (in addition to paid sick days and holidays, we give her a paid two-week time off annually.)

Since both DH and I work, we had to find backup childcare while she was gone. Unexpectedly though, our daughter really loved it there. My daughter starts school in a few months and our (verbal) commitment to our nanny was to have her work for us until DD starts school. We didn't think it was fair to let the nanny go only because she took a vacation and things changed upon her return, so we decided to keep her and have her help us out in the mornings for a couple hours. We are, however, paying her full-time (30 hours) even though she only really works 6 hours a week for us because we wanted to honor our commitment.

Recently though, she has been a bit unpleasant. Even though she works only a couple hours a day, she still asks if she could leave early for a variety of reasons (her husband wants to meet her at the mall because they need to buy something, etc.).

I had a business trip this week in a different city that was a few hours away so we asked her to come for a couple hours in the mornings and evenings for 3 days. Today before I left, she told me she couldn't make it tomorrow morning, but could make it in the evening. I was fine with this, but when I returned this evening, she nonchalantly said she could no longer make it the entire day tomorrow because she realized she has an optometrist appointment that she almost forgot about.

This was really off-putting. I feel we've been really good employers, but we haven't been getting fair treatment from her recently, considering we're paying her FT for minimal PT work.

I'm thinking of just letting her go. We don't have a contract, but for the sake of our relationship, I also want to just pay some severance, but at the same time, I'm really turned off by this bad work ethic. If I had an appointment that I forgot about, that would be no one else's fault but myself, so the most reasonable thing to do is to cancel/move this appointment to a different day rather than cancelling on your employer.

Your post doesn't make sense.
How do "a couple of hours in the morning" equate to 6 hours per week? 2 hours five days a week makes 10 hours.
If she only works "a couple of hours" in the morning, how is she asking to leave early?

You had a business trip this week a few hours away. You left today, came home this evening, and you're going back on your trip tomorrow?
Again, you're asking her to work "a couple of hours" in the mornings and evenings, but then you say she can't do a full day tomorrow because of an appointment. How do morning and evening hours make up an entire day?

This entire thing reeks of troll.

[Anonymous]

Your post doesn't make sense.
How do "a couple of hours in the morning" equate to 6 hours per week? 2 hours five days a week makes 10 hours.

She works with us 3x a week. For 2 days, she works 7am - 9am. For a day, she works 10am - 12pm. If you do the math, that's 6 hours total.

Her normal full-time hours were from 7am - 3pm, still 3x a week. The days did not change.

If she only works "a couple of hours" in the morning, how is she asking to leave early?

She asked to leave at 11:40am instead of 12pm so she could meet her husband at the mall to buy something.

You had a business trip this week a few hours away. You left today, came home this evening, and you're going back on your trip tomorrow?

Yes. I got a rental to drive there every morning and drive back home at night.

Again, you're asking her to work "a couple of hours" in the mornings and evenings, but then you say she can't do a full day tomorrow because of an appointment. How do morning and evening hours make up an entire day?

I asked her to work from 4-6pm in addition to 7-9am, just for the 3 days that I'll be gone since I won't be back until late in the evening. Yesterday, I just happened to get back earlier before she had left because my meeting ended earlier than anticipated.

The week before, she confirmed she could come. The morning I left, she said she could only come tomorrow evening, not the morning. When I got back, she told me she couldn't make it at all.

This entire thing reeks of troll.

Or you know, you could also just ask instead of assuming I'm just trolling. I'm a working mother and you really think I have time for that? I am doing my best to convey my issue, typing as fast as I can with the limited time I have. Clearly, there is no incentive for me to troll.

[Anonymous]

Again, I want to reiterate that I would have been completely fine if she gave me advance notice that she couldn’t make it. What I don’t appreciate is changing her answers within a span of less than a day- Yes, yes for only part of it, then no. Who does this shit? I have been very thankful to have worked for extremely understanding employers in the past and I want to exemplify this.

My old CEO used to say, “I don’t care who you use your bereavement leave for. It doesn’t have to be immediate family. If your mistress died and this is important to you, then it is important to you.” I have co-workers that take off work because their dogs or cats are sick.

What I’m trying to say here is I don’t care if she decides to take off work even if it’s not for family reasons or extenuating circumstances. But I do not appreciate that she leaves early knowing that she already only works only 2 hours, we need those extra minutes of help. Yes, I could have said no, but the fact that she has the balls to ask this is quite off-putting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, I want to reiterate that I would have been completely fine if she gave me advance notice that she couldn’t make it. What I don’t appreciate is changing her answers within a span of less than a day- Yes, yes for only part of it, then no. Who does this shit? I have been very thankful to have worked for extremely understanding employers in the past and I want to exemplify this.

My old CEO used to say, “I don’t care who you use your bereavement leave for. It doesn’t have to be immediate family. If your mistress died and this is important to you, then it is important to you.” I have co-workers that take off work because their dogs or cats are sick.

What I’m trying to say here is I don’t care if she decides to take off work even if it’s not for family reasons or extenuating circumstances. But I do not appreciate that she leaves early knowing that she already only works only 2 hours, we need those extra minutes of help. Yes, I could have said no, but the fact that she has the balls to ask this is quite off-putting.

Then fire her and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your post doesn't make sense.
How do "a couple of hours in the morning" equate to 6 hours per week? 2 hours five days a week makes 10 hours.

She works with us 3x a week. For 2 days, she works 7am - 9am. For a day, she works 10am - 12pm. If you do the math, that's 6 hours total.

Her normal full-time hours were from 7am - 3pm, still 3x a week. The days did not change.

If she only works "a couple of hours" in the morning, how is she asking to leave early?

She asked to leave at 11:40am instead of 12pm so she could meet her husband at the mall to buy something.

You had a business trip this week a few hours away. You left today, came home this evening, and you're going back on your trip tomorrow?

Yes. I got a rental to drive there every morning and drive back home at night.

Again, you're asking her to work "a couple of hours" in the mornings and evenings, but then you say she can't do a full day tomorrow because of an appointment. How do morning and evening hours make up an entire day?

I asked her to work from 4-6pm in addition to 7-9am, just for the 3 days that I'll be gone since I won't be back until late in the evening. Yesterday, I just happened to get back earlier before she had left because my meeting ended earlier than anticipated.

The week before, she confirmed she could come. The morning I left, she said she could only come tomorrow evening, not the morning. When I got back, she told me she couldn't make it at all.

This entire thing reeks of troll.

Or you know, you could also just ask instead of assuming I'm just trolling. I'm a working mother and you really think I have time for that? I am doing my best to convey my issue, typing as fast as I can with the limited time I have. Clearly, there is no incentive for me to troll.

How far does she live from you? I’m assuming you expected her to go home after 9 and come back at 4? I’m sure she didn’t want that wind eher previous schedule was until 3.

[Anonymous]

How far does she live from you? I’m assuming you expected her to go home after 9 and come back at 4?

Only 7 minutes away. She can go home or do whatever she wants, but we requested she be back at 4. Like I said, this was only temporary. I would appreciate if she had been clear that she couldn't make it, not tell me one thing then another later.

I’m sure she didn’t want that wind eher previous schedule was until 3.

Even just for a few hours? Man, that's some really stringent rules right there. "I love getting the free money, but if you ask me to work a couple more hours for a few days, hell no."

I guess that's just how nannies are nowadays then. It's much easier to get my 14 team of engineers to work extra hours if we have to roll a new product feature out. Figures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your post doesn't make sense.
How do "a couple of hours in the morning" equate to 6 hours per week? 2 hours five days a week makes 10 hours.

She works with us 3x a week. For 2 days, she works 7am - 9am. For a day, she works 10am - 12pm. If you do the math, that's 6 hours total.

Her normal full-time hours were from 7am - 3pm, still 3x a week. The days did not change.

If she only works "a couple of hours" in the morning, how is she asking to leave early?

She asked to leave at 11:40am instead of 12pm so she could meet her husband at the mall to buy something.

You had a business trip this week a few hours away. You left today, came home this evening, and you're going back on your trip tomorrow?

Yes. I got a rental to drive there every morning and drive back home at night.

Again, you're asking her to work "a couple of hours" in the mornings and evenings, but then you say she can't do a full day tomorrow because of an appointment. How do morning and evening hours make up an entire day?

I asked her to work from 4-6pm in addition to 7-9am, just for the 3 days that I'll be gone since I won't be back until late in the evening. Yesterday, I just happened to get back earlier before she had left because my meeting ended earlier than anticipated.

The week before, she confirmed she could come. The morning I left, she said she could only come tomorrow evening, not the morning. When I got back, she told me she couldn't make it at all.

This entire thing reeks of troll.

Or you know, you could also just ask instead of assuming I'm just trolling. I'm a working mother and you really think I have time for that? I am doing my best to convey my issue, typing as fast as I can with the limited time I have. Clearly, there is no incentive for me to troll.

How far does she live from you? I’m assuming you expected her to go home after 9 and come back at 4? I’m sure she didn’t want that wind eher previous schedule was until 3.

As I see it, OP thinks the issue is the nanny didn't communicate well. Whether or not her reasoning for suddenly deciding to not keep her end of the deal was because it was outside of her previous work schedule, or if she values her evenings so much that she can't be flexible that isn't the point. Any personal reason would have been valid but she needs to communicate that. It seems we've gone around in circles here.

OP just fire her and move on. Forcing a relationship to work never works.

[Anonymous]

Find another nanny. It seems both sides are better off without each other. She lives 7 minutes away and can’t do you a favor while you work and she gets money for free? Thank you, NEXT

[Anonymous]

How far does she live from you? I’m assuming you expected her to go home after 9 and come back at 4? I’m sure she didn’t want that wind eher previous schedule was until 3.

I can't believe this individual actually thinks the nanny's actions are justifiable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How far does she live from you? I’m assuming you expected her to go home after 9 and come back at 4?

Only 7 minutes away. She can go home or do whatever she wants, but we requested she be back at 4. Like I said, this was only temporary. I would appreciate if she had been clear that she couldn't make it, not tell me one thing then another later.

I’m sure she didn’t want that wind eher previous schedule was until 3.

Even just for a few hours? Man, that's some really stringent rules right there. "I love getting the free money, but if you ask me to work a couple more hours for a few days, hell no."

I guess that's just how nannies are nowadays then. It's much easier to get my 14 team of engineers to work extra hours if we have to roll a new product feature out. Figures.

Nope! Not all nannies are like this; I am NOTHING like this! I have a great work ethic, I value my employers, and I am as flexible as possible -especially when my employers attempt to offer the same flexibility when needed. I am nothing like your nanny, and I assume that most are like me. I would let your nanny go, and have already posted that.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above mentioned CEO about taking off for funeral of mistress or lover

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's right to ask her to work evenings if they weren't part of her schedule before the vacation. I'd be resentful of that too.

Three days too many. OP would never do the same for her nanny. Both should just stick to contract.

I would never do the same??? I just gave her $5,148 of free money instead of just firing her to make sure she doesn't just lose her job! That money could have gone to my daughter's college fund, you shitbag.

Does your boss ask you to work evenings, time you usually set aside for family/friends/an activity you enjoy? What if you already knew your job was ending soon, would you feel inclined to do a "favor" like working during a time you could be eating dinner with your family?

How far does she live from you? I’m assuming you expected her to go home after 9 and come back at 4? I’m sure she didn’t want that wind eher previous schedule was until 3.

I've taken a look at our payroll system and it looks like we've paid her 13 weeks for not working. So that's $5,148 of free money. To have her report for a couple hours for 3 days (6 hours total) and since some of you have said this was outside her normal work hours, this would have amounted to $132. So I couldn't just get that as a "gesture of goodwill" for the $5,148 of free money that I gave her? Congrats, you win the entitlement award.

Nanny used to tell me her 21-year old daughter yells at her saying, "Mom, this is why you never progress in life!" I used to think she was just an ungrateful brat, but I have to say, I agree with her now.

[Anonymous]

And to all those who posted those replies above saying her actions are justifiable and you would do the same as her, you also win the entitlement award.

It also looks like you could learn a thing or two from nanny's daughter.