Nanny and household chores

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an employer, and we have never assigned duties to our nanny aside from the kids' laundry and keeping play areas tidy. However, our nanny is the type who never sits still, and she does a TON for us while our younger child naps (our older child is in school).

She not only washes the kids' clothes, but the adults' as well. The day our cleaners come, she washes and folds the sheets from our bed. She tidies the house and sometimes vacuums. We always take out the kitchen trash each morning before leaving, but she empties the small cans throughout the house on most days (I would never empty them daily). She makes our bed (we loosely throw the covers over, but she makes it all prim and proper each day). She pulls in our trash/recycling cans after they are picked up. I have even seen evidence of her pulling weeds (she grew up on a farm and loves gardening). She waters our indoor plants. The list goes on.

Would I include any of that in a job description, or make it a requirement? Of course not. But if we were on the market again, I would ask references if the nanny performed duties outside of childcare. We would be looking for the type of candidates who could be flexible as our family's needs change, and stay long-term.

BTW, I used to be a nanny and I took it upon myself to perform extra duties for the family, such as sometimes folding their laundry, dealing with dishes in the sink, unloading/loading the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen counters, grocery shopping, etc. They were good employers, so I went the extra mile for them.

You mention everything extra she does. Good for you. But what do YOU do as an employer to thank her properly for the extra work ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an employer, and we have never assigned duties to our nanny aside from the kids' laundry and keeping play areas tidy. However, our nanny is the type who never sits still, and she does a TON for us while our younger child naps (our older child is in school).

She not only washes the kids' clothes, but the adults' as well. The day our cleaners come, she washes and folds the sheets from our bed. She tidies the house and sometimes vacuums. We always take out the kitchen trash each morning before leaving, but she empties the small cans throughout the house on most days (I would never empty them daily). She makes our bed (we loosely throw the covers over, but she makes it all prim and proper each day). She pulls in our trash/recycling cans after they are picked up. I have even seen evidence of her pulling weeds (she grew up on a farm and loves gardening). She waters our indoor plants. The list goes on.

Would I include any of that in a job description, or make it a requirement? Of course not. But if we were on the market again, I would ask references if the nanny performed duties outside of childcare. We would be looking for the type of candidates who could be flexible as our family's needs change, and stay long-term.

BTW, I used to be a nanny and I took it upon myself to perform extra duties for the family, such as sometimes folding their laundry, dealing with dishes in the sink, unloading/loading the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen counters, grocery shopping, etc. They were good employers, so I went the extra mile for them.

You mention everything extra she does. Good for you. But what do YOU do as an employer to thank her properly for the extra work ?

Of course I did-- that is what this thread was about.

But to answer your question, we give her extra paid days off (beyond our contract) and have allowed her extra paid vacation time of her own choosing when we can accommodate it (there have been occasions when she wanted to take a special trip). We give bonuses and gifts throughout the year, we arrive home on time every day, and we thank her/express our gratitude frequently.

Since you're clearly champing at the bit to judge... is that enough, or no?

[Anonymous]

19:19-- you're mighty defensive. Earlier PP must have hit a raw nerve!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an employer, and we have never assigned duties to our nanny aside from the kids' laundry and keeping play areas tidy. However, our nanny is the type who never sits still, and she does a TON for us while our younger child naps (our older child is in school).

She not only washes the kids' clothes, but the adults' as well. The day our cleaners come, she washes and folds the sheets from our bed. She tidies the house and sometimes vacuums. We always take out the kitchen trash each morning before leaving, but she empties the small cans throughout the house on most days (I would never empty them daily). She makes our bed (we loosely throw the covers over, but she makes it all prim and proper each day). She pulls in our trash/recycling cans after they are picked up. I have even seen evidence of her pulling weeds (she grew up on a farm and loves gardening). She waters our indoor plants. The list goes on.

Would I include any of that in a job description, or make it a requirement? Of course not. But if we were on the market again, I would ask references if the nanny performed duties outside of childcare. We would be looking for the type of candidates who could be flexible as our family's needs change, and stay long-term.

BTW, I used to be a nanny and I took it upon myself to perform extra duties for the family, such as sometimes folding their laundry, dealing with dishes in the sink, unloading/loading the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen counters, grocery shopping, etc. They were good employers, so I went the extra mile for them.

You mention everything extra she does. Good for you. But what do YOU do as an employer to thank her properly for the extra work ?

Of course I did-- that is what this thread was about.

But to answer your question, we give her extra paid days off (beyond our contract) and have allowed her extra paid vacation time of her own choosing when we can accommodate it (there have been occasions when she wanted to take a special trip). We give bonuses and gifts throughout the year, we arrive home on time every day, and we thank her/express our gratitude frequently.

Since you're clearly champing at the bit to judge... is that enough, or no?

You should have mentioned what you did to thank her and I wouldn't have asked about it.
You only mention what you got from her and not what you gave.
It's not a one way street, that's all.
What you do is more than fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss has started doing serious job creep. Asking me to meal prep then leaving me ALL the cooking dishes. Must be nice not to have to chop veggies and then leave the mess for someone else to clean! I used to wash the pans before this meal prep nonsense, but now I just move the pans to the second sink and leave them for the housekeeper who comes twice a week. Not my problem!

Wow. That's some nerve.

OP, don't do what that boss did. you know what happens? Resentment and burn out!

[Anonymous]

Most folks on this forum are not looking to employ a nanny-- they are looking for cheap babysitting with added maid chores that they hope an (illegal) immigrant will be desperate enough to take.

The language on this forum is incorrect. There is a nanny, there is a babysitter, and here is a housekeeper. These are separate jobs, though many posters seem to be combining babysitter and housekeeper.

A nanny has a degree and is a professional. She should be compensated as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss has started doing serious job creep. Asking me to meal prep then leaving me ALL the cooking dishes. Must be nice not to have to chop veggies and then leave the mess for someone else to clean! I used to wash the pans before this meal prep nonsense, but now I just move the pans to the second sink and leave them for the housekeeper who comes twice a week. Not my problem!

How do you know that they expect you to wash the dishes they live behind? Could be that they just didn't get to it, not that they expect you to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many employers out there ask their nanny to do some minor household chores, independent of child-related responsibilities.
I’m thinking of chores like unloading dishwasher, folding laundry, washing an occasional pot left over from dinner the night before.

I ask because the more I talk to other families I get feedback that their nanny helps out a little around the house.

Our current nanny does not. We pay her $20/hr for 1 child (2-something) who naps for a solid 2 hours everyday.

Our nanny is mostly focused on the child. She will unload the dishwasher (if my oldest forgot his chore from the night before), and once a week she'll vacuum the living room and playroom since this is where the baby spends most of his time. Otherwise it's child focused. She of course handles his food and laundry, and his room.

I wouldn't ask her to do much else.

By the way, she will wash an occasional pot but I would never ask nor expect it. I'm fine if the pot sits on the stove for a day and I wash it in the evening.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s up to you and your nanny to agree what is her job description. I can’t stand dirty dishes in the sink and always wash them before
I go to bed and I probably would resent my employer for leaving dirty dishes for me to wash. Whatever I and charge use during the day I wash no problem and tidy up as I see needed but I’m not a housekeeper. But if your nanny agrees to it- that’s great- but probably better to discuss
It at hiring, because of you add chores now the nanny might expect more compensation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many employers out there ask their nanny to do some minor household chores, independent of child-related responsibilities.
I’m thinking of chores like unloading dishwasher, folding laundry, washing an occasional pot left over from dinner the night before.

I ask because the more I talk to other families I get feedback that their nanny helps out a little around the house.

Our current nanny does not. We pay her $20/hr for 1 child (2-something) who naps for a solid 2 hours everyday.

I do things WITH my charges. My job is to teach a child, preparing them for school and life, not be your housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many employers out there ask their nanny to do some minor household chores, independent of child-related responsibilities.
I’m thinking of chores like unloading dishwasher, folding laundry, washing an occasional pot left over from dinner the night before.

I ask because the more I talk to other families I get feedback that their nanny helps out a little around the house.

Our current nanny does not. We pay her $20/hr for 1 child (2-something) who naps for a solid 2 hours everyday.

If she's a professional, maybe she doesn't want to become your cleaning lady. Employers typically take advantage of kind-hearted, helpful nannies. Most of us have learned this sad fact the hard way. If you want her to stay, it's important to maintain healthy boundaries. Do you have a contract outlining her responsibilities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many employers out there ask their nanny to do some minor household chores, independent of child-related responsibilities.
I’m thinking of chores like unloading dishwasher, folding laundry, washing an occasional pot left over from dinner the night before.

I ask because the more I talk to other families I get feedback that their nanny helps out a little around the house.

Our current nanny does not. We pay her $20/hr for 1 child (2-something) who naps for a solid 2 hours everyday.

I do things WITH my charges. My job is to teach a child, preparing them for school and life, not be your housekeeper.

Sure, if that's what the job description was. Plenty of families look for nanny/housekeeper combos, and there are plenty of candidates who apply to those positions. Nothing wrong with that, as long as expectations are clear and both parties are on board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious how many employers out there ask their nanny to do some minor household chores, independent of child-related responsibilities.
I’m thinking of chores like unloading dishwasher, folding laundry, washing an occasional pot left over from dinner the night before.

I ask because the more I talk to other families I get feedback that their nanny helps out a little around the house.

Our current nanny does not. We pay her $20/hr for 1 child (2-something) who naps for a solid 2 hours everyday.

I do things WITH my charges. My job is to teach a child, preparing them for school and life, not be your housekeeper.

Sure, if that's what the job description was. Plenty of families look for nanny/housekeeper combos, and there are plenty of candidates who apply to those positions. Nothing wrong with that, as long as expectations are clear and both parties are on board.

OP’s question was how many employers ask the nanny to do chores. My point was that many nannies, myself included, will agree to do chores WITH the child, not during naptime. I know I’ve had several who asked me to do housekeeping, but it’s something I negotiate away. Our job is to teach your children, not clean your house. Sure, I’ll mop the floor with my charge to teach them how, but I’m not doing it on my emoloyers’ schedule.

[Anonymous]

We ask our nanny to do household chores - every year, we ask her to do more chores are her nanny duties shrink as the kids get older. She can do those or she can find another job, but I think both her and our household think it's better than finding new family for her or a new nanny for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ask our nanny to do household chores - every year, we ask her to do more chores are her nanny duties shrink as the kids get older. She can do those or she can find another job, but I think both her and our household think it's better than finding new family for her or a new nanny for us.

Perhaps it’s better for you. Employers with infants want recent infant/toddler experience. Housekeeping doesn’t do that, so by staying longer with you, she’s going to be looking at more of the same later. For someone who wants to primarily be a nanny, that could be a problem.

I make $50k+ per year as a live-in nanny for kids in full day school, that way I’m available for the kids at a moment’s notice during the day. I empty the dishwasher, help kids clean up after themselves, sort mail, water kids’ plants, order supplies and take out Amazon boxes, run occasional load of kids’ clothes, grocery shop and cook for kids (me too!), but the total averages under 1.5 hours daily, and kids are the priority for both my employer and me. I’m the person who runs to get them from school when they’re sick, injured, or misbehaving, keeps them in bed when they’re sick, takes them to the doctor and dentist when a parent can’t, manages the calendar, and lets everyone know where and when they need to be at different locations. I teach the kids to manage their own lives (in age-appropriate ways), to contribute to society, their community and their family, to try for things by themselves first and then ask for help when it’s warranted, to strive to try harder or a different way next time, and to persevere when things are difficult. My charges learn to name, quantify and talk about their emotions and the causes thereof, to think first before they say and do things, to consider how people from a different socioeconomic/cultural/religious background may feel and react in a given situation. I approach controversial/taboo subjects by letting them know that they may ask me any question under the sun, in the privacy of the car or their home, with only family around, and I will explain to the best of my ability; by doing that, I teach them tact and consideration for others’ feelings, while honoring their curiosity and desire to learn. I teach them about the way that society views people, based on things we can and can’t change about ourselves. Most of all, I teach them to think for themselves, evaluate possible outcomes before making decisions, and look at problems in a new light, to see if there are other solutions or whether it’s even a problem when viewed differently. My job is to help shape the future of our community, society and world by teaching a portion of our next generation, and I do that with thought, dedication and love.

I have a lot of respect for people who truly love to clean and do a good job. Without them, many of us could not function as well or at all in the jobs we do (and love). But most good nannies aren’t good housekeepers, and most good housekeepers don’t have time to be good nannies, even if they would do well. There’s only so much time in one day.