Nannies vs Au Pairs

[Anonymous]

We have had the same nanny for over seven years. I like that at the end of the day the nanny leaves. I like that my children have had containuety (sp?) of care. I like that a nanny is a nanny because this is the career they've chosen. An au pair is just doing it because they want to come to the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had the same nanny for over seven years. I like that at the end of the day the nanny leaves. I like that my children have had containuety (sp?) of care. I like that a nanny is a nanny because this is the career they've chosen. An au pair is just doing it because they want to come to the country.

Well said. Continuity of care is essential. More parents should learn that.

[Anonymous]

Au pair is more like having another kid to take care of. Get a real nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An ap is a young adult that needs guidance and is also new to this country and she lives with you. There's is a 45 hr limit to her working and the cost is not just the weekly stipend but the agency fees, food etc. A nanny is an employee who is completely self sufficient, with experience and unless love in goes home at night and has her own life and can also work more than 45 hrs a week depending on your contract.
They are completely different childcare options. I wouldn't use an ah pair for a toddler or preschooler but for elementary kids and the split shift of morning and a little after school would make sense.

This. There are additional costs for an au pair, and strict limits on how many hours they can work. And you have responsibilities to her, even when she's not working. She's not a child-care professional, and she has to go home after one or two years. And some au pairs view it as more of a vacation, and there may be culture clashes or problems with integrating her into your household in terms of meals, chores, etc. A nanny is a professional, you can agree that she will work more hours in exchange for overtime, and you aren't responsible for her in her off hours. There are advantages and disadvantages to both options.

Live-in nanny here. I’ve been hired three times to make up for issues with APs: one was abusive, one wasn’t interested in learning enough English to communicate with the kids, and the third couldn’t drive three blocks to school and back, so there were zero activities and play dates. On the other hand, I know several people who’ve had great relationships with exceptional APs, and one of my families had a former AP return for two weeks to visit.

There is a basic criteria list:
1. Private bedroom with two egresses, locking door
2. Access to a bathroom
3. Schedule with 45 hours or less per week
4. 9-10 hours maximum per day (depends on agency), 1.5 consecutive days off per week
5. $8k (estimate) agency fee
6. Roughly $200 weekly stipend to AP
7. Ability to take time off to test driving, take AP to bank, SS office, dmv, etc
8. Willingness to explain EVERYTHING (including how to work toaster and washer)
9. Expectations are safety, feed kids and interact. This is a young adult who may have never had a job before, not a professional nanny.
10. The program is set up to help these 18-26yos learn English (class every semester) and experience the culture while giving you cheaper childcare. If you aren’t interested in cultural exchange, skip it!

[Anonymous]

Au pairs are regulated and cannot work more than 40 hours per week and aren’t allowed to clean house outside of tidying for kids and herself. You pay all her travel, room and board and should include her in your family lifestyle so au pair can enjoy the cultural experience

[Anonymous]

I've had both and will put in a plug for the Au Pair program. We have had nothing genuinely lovely girls who have been great care-takers. I think you really need to invest the time in finding the right fit and there are undoubtedly bad ones out there (just like nannies).

I have liked having someone living at our house for late night babysitting or emergencies. I also like that I get time to speak to the Au Pair about my kids rather than a nanny that needs to get home (rightly so of course).

I also like the cultural exchange/ language aspect of the program.

What I would really focus on when making your decision is your lifestyle - how will you feel about having an extra person living in your home? Are you prepared to take some time to get them settled at the start?

[Anonymous]

We had a nanny 2 for 2 years and APs for 5 now. We started with the nanny after daycare when children we 2 and 4. We went through 3 nannies in 2 years. We live in Arlington, 4 blocks from metro and 1 block from bus; but all 3 nannies drove their car to our home.
We ended up firing all 3 nannies for one reason or the other, but mainly they could never make it to work if it rained or snowed basically. Which sucked for me as DH works internationally and was often away.
We went to APs and never looked back - we pay more than the $200 and have 3 cars and have gotten great female and male APs.
Now that our children are older we only have very athletic APs who play sports with them or have a hobby in common with both.
For a split schedule, and actually playing WITH the children AP is they way to go. Our APs never miss work, and are perfect for school aged children.

Having someone live with you does get old, but if your house is big enough not really an issue too often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny 2 for 2 years and APs for 5 now. We started with the nanny after daycare when children we 2 and 4. We went through 3 nannies in 2 years. We live in Arlington, 4 blocks from metro and 1 block from bus; but all 3 nannies drove their car to our home.
We ended up firing all 3 nannies for one reason or the other, but mainly they could never make it to work if it rained or snowed basically. Which sucked for me as DH works internationally and was often away.
We went to APs and never looked back - we pay more than the $200 and have 3 cars and have gotten great female and male APs.
Now that our children are older we only have very athletic APs who play sports with them or have a hobby in common with both.
For a split schedule, and actually playing WITH the children AP is they way to go. Our APs never miss work, and are perfect for school aged children.

Having someone live with you does get old, but if your house is big enough not really an issue too often.

Do you want a pat on the back?

Sorry not sorry, if OPM is closed for snow I’m not risking my life for a job.

[Anonymous]

Love my APs.

As a single mom i love having another adult in the house, especially in case of emergencies. My house is tiny and we live on top of each other and share the 1 bathroom. but none of my 3 au pairs seemed to care. I gave them no responsibility other than loving my daughter and keeping her safe. I was for sure the most popular HM in our area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny 2 for 2 years and APs for 5 now. We started with the nanny after daycare when children we 2 and 4. We went through 3 nannies in 2 years. We live in Arlington, 4 blocks from metro and 1 block from bus; but all 3 nannies drove their car to our home.
We ended up firing all 3 nannies for one reason or the other, but mainly they could never make it to work if it rained or snowed basically. Which sucked for me as DH works internationally and was often away.
We went to APs and never looked back - we pay more than the $200 and have 3 cars and have gotten great female and male APs.
Now that our children are older we only have very athletic APs who play sports with them or have a hobby in common with both.
For a split schedule, and actually playing WITH the children AP is they way to go. Our APs never miss work, and are perfect for school aged children.

Having someone live with you does get old, but if your house is big enough not really an issue too often.

20.59 here. With a live-in nanny, you get all of that (including no commute!), and the maturity of an adult. Because we’re not regulated like APs, we can work whenever and do whichever tasks we negotiate. However, that is much more expensive than an AP. To each their own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a nanny 2 for 2 years and APs for 5 now. We started with the nanny after daycare when children we 2 and 4. We went through 3 nannies in 2 years. We live in Arlington, 4 blocks from metro and 1 block from bus; but all 3 nannies drove their car to our home.
We ended up firing all 3 nannies for one reason or the other, but mainly they could never make it to work if it rained or snowed basically. Which sucked for me as DH works internationally and was often away.
We went to APs and never looked back - we pay more than the $200 and have 3 cars and have gotten great female and male APs.
Now that our children are older we only have very athletic APs who play sports with them or have a hobby in common with both.
For a split schedule, and actually playing WITH the children AP is they way to go. Our APs never miss work, and are perfect for school aged children.

Having someone live with you does get old, but if your house is big enough not really an issue too often.

20.59 here. With a live-in nanny, you get all of that (including no commute!), and the maturity of an adult. Because we’re not regulated like APs, we can work whenever and do whichever tasks we negotiate. However, that is much more expensive than an AP. To each their own

Sure, find me a live in nanny that played semi professional soccer; and/or needs a year in America to improve English for div 1 athletic scholarship and I would definitely interview the .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love my APs.

As a single mom i love having another adult in the house, especially in case of emergencies. My house is tiny and we live on top of each other and share the 1 bathroom. but none of my 3 au pairs seemed to care. I gave them no responsibility other than loving my daughter and keeping her safe. I was for sure the most popular HM in our area.

I’m sure you’re much sought after because many female APs would prefer if given the choice to not have a husband in the home.

[Anonymous]

Maybe so! My house on the weekend definitely became the "hangout house" (all 900 sq. ft. of it!) for the local APs.

I miss those days. Daughter is now 13 and takes care of herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had an au pair stay with us today, and we were quite surprised at how friendly they were and how little they costed verse our day-to-day nanny.

What are your opinions of Au pairs

Not cheaper once you account for their food, phone, travel.
May need lots of training.
May have unrealistic expectations that it’s more of a cultural exchange than job.
May be too immature to do anything.
Expect quarterly care accidents if allowed or needed to drive.
May get homesick, an American boyfriend, and just leave.

[Anonymous]

Someone may be in your house. All. The. Time.