Au pair mileage - what is reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need to either set something reasonable (100+ miles per week, if you know her friend lives 20 miles away), set up an Uber account and cover $50-100 per week, or you need to provide a metro card IF her friend is metro-accessible. You provided a car as a perk. Severely limiting it now would be immediately met with resentment, justifiable in my mind!

This is one of the things you have to consider BEFORE getting a new AP. You said a previous AP racked up 300+ miles in a weekend, and I agree that’s too much. But 50 miles is not much. If you were limited to 50 miles per week, would you be able to do it without feeling like you’re missing out on other things?

Let’s see...I didn’t actually have a car for years, and had to figure out ways to get places that didn’t involve me just grabbing the car keys. I also don’t visit my friends who live 20+ miles away on a daily basis. And now, as an adult, I pay for all of the expenses associated with driving, and would not put 50 miles/day on the car for anything other than a necessary work commute. Try the math on that at the fed reimbursement rate: $29 per trip. Let’s multiply by four: $116. Or five: $145. And now let’s take those weekly numbers and multiply by 4.3 (avg weeks per month): that gets us to $499 - $624 per month for au pair’s personal, off duty driving.

Hi PP, are you OP? It wasn't clear.

The AP was promised a vehicle, you weren't. As a more mature adult with a family, of course you aren't visiting friends every day; most people in their 20s (without families) DO spend their evenings with friends.

Did she see the handbook before she got to OP's house? Did she actually know how far 50 miles is, since she's most likely used to kilometers? Did she know how spread out the US is compared to Europe, Southeast Asia, and many, many other places in the world? Obviously, she didn't know that her friend would live 20 miles away. All of those contribute to the problem of setting 50 miles as a limit.

While you may not put on 50 miles per day for anything other than a commute, others have different priorities, especially young adults. She doesn't have a commute, doesn't know the federal mileage reimbursement rate, and her life revolves around OP's family and getting out of their house for a break.

By the way, we don't even know if the mileage is accurate, because OP didn't say that they're using a mileage book or app to track. OP, if you're determined to stick to 50 miles per week, let her know now that EVERYONE who uses the car will be tracking mileage, and walk her through a mileage book or an app. If you decide to go that route, you could end up with major resentment, but that's your choice.

Costs add up with APs. Either you make peace with that, you let the next AP know that there are no transportation perks (which makes matching significantly harder), or you get out of the AP program.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Your car, your expense.

You can ask her to chip in for gas on any driving over a certain amount. She will suddenly decrease her driving when she realizes she has to actually pay for things or just buy gas to keep driving the distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a reasonable limit for off duty car use? This is one of our family vehicles and not an old beater that’s dedicated to au pair. It’s already relatively high mileage, but she is putting on probably three to four times as many miles per week as the total amount of our usual weekly family mileage.

This question pops up so often... and the answer is "it depends".

For our AP there is really no need to use a car at all. Where we live public transportation is amazing and is something we pay for. We barely drive more than 3,000 miles a year as a family (and more like 300 last year, for many different reasons). To us 50 miles a week would already be unreasonable. However, if she wants to go somewhere where public transportation is unavailable (due to location or time), she can use the car if she asks.

When I was an AP (not in DC) driving 50 miles a week would have left me stuck at home.
The closest AP lived 5 miles away.
The closest movie theater was 12 miles away (the one we usually went to 15).
Classes? 10 miles away.
Library? 8 miles.
Mall? 15 miles.
LCC? 15 miles.
Closest grocery store? 5 miles.
Zoo? 10 miles.
Pool? 10 miles.
Gym? 5 miles.
Park? 5 miles.
Lake? 5 miles.
Heck, the closest Starbucks was 5 miles one way. And that was not the Starbucks where the APs typically met (12 miles, closest to where most APs lived).

Just going to classes (twice a week) would have meant maxing out a weekly 50-mile limit.
In an average week, not really doing anything out of the ordinary, I easily drove 100+ miles. Classes on Tuesday and Thursday - 50 miles. Movie and dinner on Friday night - 30 miles. Meeting a friend two suburbs away on Saturday - 35 miles. Library and meeting friends at the lake on Sunday - 20 miles.
I am sure there were many weeks where I drove more than that. I had three close friends - 5/16/17 miles away from where I lived, respectively. Outlet mall? 100 mile round trip. Downtown for an activity? 40 miles round trip. Cluster meeting? 30 miles. Renaissance festival? 90 miles one way.

And it was totally reasonable. Because there simply were no other options (no public transportation, at all, long before Uber). We were out of the way, no APs in the neighborhood, everybody would have had to drive 10+ miles out of their way to pick me up (plus another 10 to drop me off?!), which was fine for long trips but somewhat unreasonable for a coffee. And as my HF chose to live there they figured it was their responsibility to make sure that I could get places, do things, meet friends... in return I drove my HD's 20 year old Honda Civic (which had what? 200,000 miles?), made sure to pay for my own gas and didn't drive further than an hour away (in case the car broke down and I had to be picked up). I am still extremely grateful to my HF that they made the year I had possible just by simple things like realizing that a 20 year old in a foreign country wants to experience things, see things, be active and out and about.

In your situation, a similar set-up might be totally unreasonable. Hence - it depends. And if she knew about the limit when she matched and if it's in your handbook and if you care to enforce it then this is a battle you chose to pick. Or not.

[Anonymous]

Asking her to track her mileage usage seems really miserly. Proceed with caution here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking her to track her mileage usage seems really miserly. Proceed with caution here.

Agreed. Just tell her you will pay for a tank of gas every X weeks. She'll soon realize seeing her friend every day is not quite so important.

[Anonymous]

Everything our AP needs on a regular basis is within a 15 mile radius, so our rule is car usage within those 15 miles, and we pay $20 a week in gas (basically a tank of gas for our economy car). I've noticed over the years that our APs become more resourceful with carpooling for social events- their friends who have dedicated cars with paid gas will often become the primary drivers for all their friends. Or, my AP will be the the primary driver for those who don't have a dedicated car or who have to pay for their gas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Au pair can use our family vehicle during off hours. Our handbook allows for local driving and notes a 50 mile total for weekend driving (added after pathological liar former au pair put 300+ miles on in a single weekend).

Current au pair is frequently driving 40+ miles per weekday (20+ miles each direction to see friend), plus what I’d call local driving in our area - movies, gym, etc.

What is a reasonable limit for off duty car use? This is one of our family vehicles and not an old beater that’s dedicated to au pair. It’s already relatively high mileage, but she is putting on probably three to four times as many miles per week as the total amount of our usual weekly family mileage.

Opinions? Recommendations?

This is why we purchase a cheap Honda Fit for our AuPairs. No issues. No drama. Do whatever.