"formal" home: how you would feel about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, uniforms aren't that bad. I wore one when I worked in a staffed home a few years ago. Once you get over your initial aversion to the idea of wearing one the reality isn't actually that bad for the reasons people mentioned above. The same goes for the Mr. and Mrs. thing. Once you get over your aversion to the symbolism of it, it's fine. I actually still miss that job and would still be doing it if my husband and I hadn't moved to pursue a career opportunity for him.

What did the uniform look like ?

White collared shirt and black pants or skirt.

What?
A SKIRT for working as a Nanny....??!
This sounds too formal as well as hideously impractical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, uniforms aren't that bad. I wore one when I worked in a staffed home a few years ago. Once you get over your initial aversion to the idea of wearing one the reality isn't actually that bad for the reasons people mentioned above. The same goes for the Mr. and Mrs. thing. Once you get over your aversion to the symbolism of it, it's fine. I actually still miss that job and would still be doing it if my husband and I hadn't moved to pursue a career opportunity for him.

What did the uniform look like ?

White collared shirt and black pants or skirt.

What?
A SKIRT for working as a Nanny....??!
This sounds too formal as well as hideously impractical.

That was the uniform for all of their staff not just the nannies. The skirt was optional and I rarely wore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A uniform is a deal-breaker for this many people? I miss my old school uniforms so badly. 5 minutes out the door, and no worries about repeating clothes, buying new clothes, work appropriateness...

But, then, I do think of myself as an employee, and not a member of the family or an independent service provider with clients. I'm in it for the money and benefits.

Even if you were looked at as just to help at least you know where you stand and you know there are very clear boundaries. I could really get behind a job like that versus something more intertwined .

[Anonymous]

I think it's a personal thing - either it would work for you or it wouldn't, there is no right or wrong answer. I would see if you can talk to their previous nanny (I'd honestly find it weird if you couldn't), and if they said they were able to have a great relationship with the kids despite the formality, then it wouldn't bother me. But if bothers you, then don't do it.

[Anonymous]

British nannies wear skirts. Totally doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, uniforms aren't that bad. I wore one when I worked in a staffed home a few years ago. Once you get over your initial aversion to the idea of wearing one the reality isn't actually that bad for the reasons people mentioned above. The same goes for the Mr. and Mrs. thing. Once you get over your aversion to the symbolism of it, it's fine. I actually still miss that job and would still be doing it if my husband and I hadn't moved to pursue a career opportunity for him.

What did the uniform look like ?

White collared shirt and black pants or skirt.

What?
A SKIRT for working as a Nanny....??!
This sounds too formal as well as hideously impractical.

It sounds like her employers gave her the CHOICE to wear a skirt or pants. Some women have religious beliefs that require a skirt, or are just more comfortable in a skirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:British nannies wear skirts. Totally doable.

British children are generally far better behaved than American children who are mostly spoiled brats

[Anonymous]

You’ll be considered the help because you are the help. It is an intimate working relationship, but you aren’t family. They obviously feel above you, with the Mrs./Mr., but so what, they are above you. My bosses are above me. The amount of education and experiences that they have had far exceed mine. BUT, they treat everyone with respect. Are your potential employers respectful? Additionally, I refer to myself as Miss Name, and don’t leave that open for negotiation. It is a form if respect and puts me in a similar position as a teacher. But I am gentle, kind, loving, etc. I am an excellent nanny, but my role isn’t that of a friend and I like it to be defined appropriately.

For me, there is a lot more that would help me decide. What is the uniform? Does it have the comfort and durability needed when working with children? Would they be willing to work with you on you uniform, black yoga pants (capris in the summer) and a certain style tunic and cardigan? Sign me up for that uniform! Are they hands on, hands off, authoritarian, want to work with you or just direct you, etc.? Hell yes to the chef and housekeeper! Are you their first nanny? Would they be willing to allow you to contact their former nanny or speak with the other household employees?

Make that money! Deal with the shit that comes and build your savings! Good luck; keep us posted!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take the job.

Yes, as one PP brought up - you likely will be looked at as the “help,” or maybe not.

Regardless if the pay/benefits are really good, then I could let that one slide.
Also calling the parents Mr. + Mrs. I could certainly live with.

At least give the job a fair chance.
This might be the one.

Good luck OP!

You are the help. My concern would be what are the kids like and how does it work with that many nannies. The kids may act up/want their parents and doubtfully parents spend much time for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone! OP Here. A lot of interesting perspectives and responses here. Since I initially posted this I have received an official offer from them, which I had been expected based on our previous conversations. They want to me to decide by early next week. They offered me on the upper end of the pay scale they mentioned during our initial conversations. So that is pretty tempting and a lot more than I was making in my previous job.

To answer a few of the questions that you've asked. They have had nannies before, but I haven't been in contact with them. I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to ask if I can speak with them before making my decision? I did speak to one of the housekeepers during my in-person interview, however, and she said she was happy with the job.

For those asking, the uniform is khakis and either a white polo or button up with what, I guess, is like the family crest (?) or some kind of household logo on it. The housekeepers wear the same thing but apparently also have a more formal get up for entertaining guests. I am told I won't have to wear that, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone! OP Here. A lot of interesting perspectives and responses here. Since I initially posted this I have received an official offer from them, which I had been expected based on our previous conversations. They want to me to decide by early next week. They offered me on the upper end of the pay scale they mentioned during our initial conversations. So that is pretty tempting and a lot more than I was making in my previous job.

To answer a few of the questions that you've asked. They have had nannies before, but I haven't been in contact with them. I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to ask if I can speak with them before making my decision? I did speak to one of the housekeepers during my in-person interview, however, and she said she was happy with the job.

For those asking, the uniform is khakis and either a white polo or button up with what, I guess, is like the family crest (?) or some kind of household logo on it. The housekeepers wear the same thing but apparently also have a more formal get up for entertaining guests. I am told I won't have to wear that, though.

I'm not sure what your relationship was like with previous parents, but I would assume that this one will be very business-like. It will probably include some directions, especially about how the children are to be seen in public, and I wouldn't expect them to want to chat with you at all about your private life. They will not be friends. If it's important to you to have that "family" feel with the parents as well as with the children, this is not the job for you.

If you can see yourself in a true Mary-Poppins-type role, then this might be a good fit. I would prefer this type of job. I like to know parameters and expectations, and I don't like having to figure that stuff out as I go because my employer gets her/his nose bent out of joint over something I never knew was an issue. I also don't want to be friends with my employers. I don't want to have to care what's going on in their lives, or their money issues, or how difficult their days were. I'm more of a, "you deal with your stuff and I'll deal with mine" kind of person.

[Anonymous]

OP, take the job. Even if you find that the formality is not for you, the experience will be a springboard to your next well-paying position.

[Anonymous]

I think if this is a long term career for you, this would be a good move-financially and professionally.

[Anonymous]

I would take the job. The uniform doesn't sound terrible and I could get used to the Mr and Mrs thing easily. And with the higher pay it's worth it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others. This sounds like a step up career wise and the uniform sounds fine. I would have no problem wearing it and it might even be a perk if they are paying for it.