Au pair just asked to rematch

[Anonymous]

I would not keep her if she's blaming you child if she cannot find a rematch. At 5, just put him in all day care if you can and get a nanny/babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - our LCC spoke to her and AP told her she wants to rematch to try to move to her first choice city and that she’s not happy in our area. According to the LCC, she didn’t even bring up my son’s behavior until the LCC asked her about it but she admitted that it’s about the location.

May I ask which was her first choice city and where are you? DMV?

We are in the DMV and her first choice was NYC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not keep her if she's blaming you child if she cannot find a rematch. At 5, just put him in all day care if you can and get a nanny/babysitter.

We are definitely not keeping her because she’s not happy here and doesn’t want to stay. We have to find another au pair because I have a younger child who needs care after pre school and part time nannies seem hard to come by (we also need help in the morning). Honestly this experience is making me sour on the program. I wish there were more childcare options available

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not keep her if she's blaming you child if she cannot find a rematch. At 5, just put him in all day care if you can and get a nanny/babysitter.

We are definitely not keeping her because she’s not happy here and doesn’t want to stay. We have to find another au pair because I have a younger child who needs care after pre school and part time nannies seem hard to come by (we also need help in the morning). Honestly this experience is making me sour on the program. I wish there were more childcare options available

There are plenty of options available including an Au pair. You can put baby in day care, older one in before/after care and hire someone for the mornings. Flex your schedules so one goes in later, one earlier. Full time nanny. Home day care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - our LCC spoke to her and AP told her she wants to rematch to try to move to her first choice city and that she’s not happy in our area. According to the LCC, she didn’t even bring up my son’s behavior until the LCC asked her about it but she admitted that it’s about the location.

May I ask which was her first choice city and where are you? DMV?

We are in the DMV and her first choice was NYC

Good luck to her. I live in NYC and hear this a lot. And the vast majority of au pairs here don’t live IN nyc. And the nyc suburbs are way more suburban feeling than much of the dmv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not keep her if she's blaming you child if she cannot find a rematch. At 5, just put him in all day care if you can and get a nanny/babysitter.

We are definitely not keeping her because she’s not happy here and doesn’t want to stay. We have to find another au pair because I have a younger child who needs care after pre school and part time nannies seem hard to come by (we also need help in the morning). Honestly this experience is making me sour on the program. I wish there were more childcare options available

There are plenty of options available including an Au pair. You can put baby in day care, older one in before/after care and hire someone for the mornings. Flex your schedules so one goes in later, one earlier. Full time nanny. Home day care.

Jags you ever successfully hired someone for mornings only? Who actually consistently shows up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be because she wants another city (you can't blame her - expectactions vs reality) or because your child is really tough to manage. And if that's the case it's not too late to teach him to behave.

Get real. Definitely posted by an AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - our LCC spoke to her and AP told her she wants to rematch to try to move to her first choice city and that she’s not happy in our area. According to the LCC, she didn’t even bring up my son’s behavior until the LCC asked her about it but she admitted that it’s about the location.

May I ask which was her first choice city and where are you? DMV?

We are in the DMV and her first choice was NYC

Good luck to her. I live in NYC and hear this a lot. And the vast majority of au pairs here don’t live IN nyc. And the nyc suburbs are way more suburban feeling than much of the dmv.

The program didn't used to allow "rematch for location." They should have thought about that before committing for a year. Almost all the APs we have had initially thought they preferred CA (because of television shows they watched), not realizing that CA isn't all beaches and movie stars, but also deserts, agricultural areas, etc. IF they go on and on about it in their essay, we pass because I don't want to have to deal with that. But all of the APs whom we hosted ended up happy to be in the DMV. It's urban enough, without being too much so. Unless she has a friend or boyfriend there, I bet she won't last the rest of the year in "NYC" either.

[Anonymous]

Nyc mom, here, and I totally agree. Our first ap wanted to extend with a different family and was set only in California. She ended up with a family in Silicon Valley who only needed a driver and she hated it and rematches immediately. Ended up in Chicago suburbs and later told me she’d wished she extended with us.

[Anonymous]

OP here - the rematch pool is intimidating in the sense that all the APs I’m talking to seem to have very dramatic stories and it’s hard to parse what’s true and not. What’s surprising is most of the LCCs so far have told me straight up they don’t recommend the APs in rematch. Let me know if there are any particularly important questions to ask APs in rematch or red flags to look out for.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t need an ap immediately are you allowed to search for an out of country ap as your replacement? I’d be wary of the rematch pool too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the rematch pool is intimidating in the sense that all the APs I’m talking to seem to have very dramatic stories and it’s hard to parse what’s true and not. What’s surprising is most of the LCCs so far have told me straight up they don’t recommend the APs in rematch. Let me know if there are any particularly important questions to ask APs in rematch or red flags to look out for.

Never had a "rematch" per se, but did have 3 homesick APs who left the country early. Instead of selecting a rematch AP in desperation, we hired temporary nannies for a couple of months, to allow for an orderly selection of a new AP. (Some rematch APs may be great, but it's so hard to know what to believe and you can't always trust the LCCs or the APs.) The temporary nannies are often a hot mess too, but I was happy with one (it was summer, and we got a college student who wanted to spend a summer nannying. She lived in and was very AP like except she had her own car and went home a few times on weekends.), ok with a couple of others, and two were horrible. It's not a great situation to have to hire someone in a hurry, any way you look at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the rematch pool is intimidating in the sense that all the APs I’m talking to seem to have very dramatic stories and it’s hard to parse what’s true and not. What’s surprising is most of the LCCs so far have told me straight up they don’t recommend the APs in rematch. Let me know if there are any particularly important questions to ask APs in rematch or red flags to look out for.

Never had a "rematch" per se, but did have 3 homesick APs who left the country early. Instead of selecting a rematch AP in desperation, we hired temporary nannies for a couple of months, to allow for an orderly selection of a new AP. (Some rematch APs may be great, but it's so hard to know what to believe and you can't always trust the LCCs or the APs.) The temporary nannies are often a hot mess too, but I was happy with one (it was summer, and we got a college student who wanted to spend a summer nannying. She lived in and was very AP like except she had her own car and went home a few times on weekends.), ok with a couple of others, and two were horrible. It's not a great situation to have to hire someone in a hurry, any way you look at it.

Does that mean you paid for both the AP agency and a temp nanny? The problem is that we are on the hook with the agency and are stuck with them for at least another 10 months, and we can’t afford to pay both the agency fee and for a temporary nanny until we find someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the rematch pool is intimidating in the sense that all the APs I’m talking to seem to have very dramatic stories and it’s hard to parse what’s true and not. What’s surprising is most of the LCCs so far have told me straight up they don’t recommend the APs in rematch. Let me know if there are any particularly important questions to ask APs in rematch or red flags to look out for.

Never had a "rematch" per se, but did have 3 homesick APs who left the country early. Instead of selecting a rematch AP in desperation, we hired temporary nannies for a couple of months, to allow for an orderly selection of a new AP. (Some rematch APs may be great, but it's so hard to know what to believe and you can't always trust the LCCs or the APs.) The temporary nannies are often a hot mess too, but I was happy with one (it was summer, and we got a college student who wanted to spend a summer nannying. She lived in and was very AP like except she had her own car and went home a few times on weekends.), ok with a couple of others, and two were horrible. It's not a great situation to have to hire someone in a hurry, any way you look at it.

Does that mean you paid for both the AP agency and a temp nanny? The problem is that we are on the hook with the agency and are stuck with them for at least another 10 months, and we can’t afford to pay both the agency fee and for a temporary nanny until we find someone else

They prorated the agency fee for the rematch AP, and we paid the agency fee in full for the "new" AP. It wasn't cheap to hire a temp and I hated having to do it, but it has only happened 3 times in 12 years.