another lack of common sense story

[Anonymous]

By all means, talk to him since you feel so strongly about him not following your instructions. Just to put it into perspective, though, watching soccer is not really something most HF would rematch over. And it seems kind of arbitrary/hard hearted not to allow a soccer match both your child and the AP were interested in. If you are talking about this past Tuesday (Election Day), when the weather was very rainy in the DC area, there probably were fewer opportunities to get out of the house too, so that would have been a tough day to be screenless. I think your LCC/agency would consider you too quick to rematch if you hook them in. To put things in perspective, after 12 years of APs and hearing about other people's nannies/daycare providers/grandparents, NONE of them do 100% what you ask. If there is a safety issue, that is a dealbreaker, but other than that, child care providers are not robots. If you get 80% of what you want, you're doing well. If that's not good enough, you might need to hire a $30/hour nanny or do it yourself. But the $30 professional nanny will want to be full charge and not have to follow a lot of rules, and SAH parents tend to be way more flexible once they are responsible for living with their own rules.

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to the haters, OP. I am with you. I would be furious, if my AP explicitly ignored my instructions. I don't think that I would jump to rematch right away, but I would have a serious sit down conversation. Base case scenario, it was some sort of a misunderstanding and it won't happen again. Worst case, you'll end up in rematch down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By all means, talk to him since you feel so strongly about him not following your instructions. Just to put it into perspective, though, watching soccer is not really something most HF would rematch over. And it seems kind of arbitrary/hard hearted not to allow a soccer match both your child and the AP were interested in. If you are talking about this past Tuesday (Election Day), when the weather was very rainy in the DC area, there probably were fewer opportunities to get out of the house too, so that would have been a tough day to be screenless. I think your LCC/agency would consider you too quick to rematch if you hook them in. To put things in perspective, after 12 years of APs and hearing about other people's nannies/daycare providers/grandparents, NONE of them do 100% what you ask. If there is a safety issue, that is a dealbreaker, but other than that, child care providers are not robots. If you get 80% of what you want, you're doing well. If that's not good enough, you might need to hire a $30/hour nanny or do it yourself. But the $30 professional nanny will want to be full charge and not have to follow a lot of rules, and SAH parents tend to be way more flexible once they are responsible for living with their own rules.

This is the most logical post ever written on this forum.

[Anonymous]

This may sound silly but was it an important game? Or just some random soccer match. I would have been pissed as a kid and as an adult if someone told me I couldn’t watch my favorite team, play in the final four some the playoffs.

[Anonymous]

I think AP should put him/herself in rematch for your draconian restriction paired with the interrogation on why s/he dared to have a soccer match holiday from it. And if your AP is friends with mine I’ll say as much to AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may sound silly but was it an important game? Or just some random soccer match. I would have been pissed as a kid and as an adult if someone told me I couldn’t watch my favorite team, play in the final four some the playoffs.

Not OP, and I get it (I am from Europe). But if it were me, I would like AP to just tell me this, rather than going behind my back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think AP should put him/herself in rematch for your draconian restriction paired with the interrogation on why s/he dared to have a soccer match holiday from it. And if your AP is friends with mine I’ll say as much to AP.

This is ridiculous. AP was told not to do something and did it anyway. How would your boss feel if s/he told you not to do something and you did it anyway? Not a direct comparison but pretty much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think AP should put him/herself in rematch for your draconian restriction paired with the interrogation on why s/he dared to have a soccer match holiday from it. And if your AP is friends with mine I’ll say as much to AP.

This is ridiculous. AP was told not to do something and did it anyway. How would your boss feel if s/he told you not to do something and you did it anyway? Not a direct comparison but pretty much.

If I independently exercised my judgment when my boss told my secretary to do something stupid? I’d expect my boss to realize he was wrong and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Overreacting? YES

Rematch? NO

[Anonymous]

It’s quite interesting to see that so many people think it is wrong, stupid, and draconian to ask your kids and caregiver not to watch tv for a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think AP should put him/herself in rematch for your draconian restriction paired with the interrogation on why s/he dared to have a soccer match holiday from it. And if your AP is friends with mine I’ll say as much to AP.

This is ridiculous. AP was told not to do something and did it anyway. How would your boss feel if s/he told you not to do something and you did it anyway? Not a direct comparison but pretty much.

If I independently exercised my judgment when my boss told my secretary to do something stupid? I’d expect my boss to realize he was wrong and let it go.

If I "independently exercised my judgment" and violated a direct order from my boss (and...telling AP not to watch TV is not "something stupid") I would likely be reprimanded, if not fired. I'm glad you have a job where you get to do what you please.

I agree with PP who is surprised how many people think it's shocking that kids spend an entire day away from the TV. That's one of the reasons we have an AP. My husband is home every day by 4pm and if I wanted to save a ton of money I'd have the kids come home and watch TV for hours. I have the AP to engage them.

[Anonymous]

To PP-pretty sure the whole justification for the program is that they are not an employee, hence the lack of salary, hourly wage, etc. If they aren't an employee, they don't have the same expectations that you do at work. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To PP-pretty sure the whole justification for the program is that they are not an employee, hence the lack of salary, hourly wage, etc. If they aren't an employee, they don't have the same expectations that you do at work. Sorry.

So that means they get to do whatever they want? I totally disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To PP-pretty sure the whole justification for the program is that they are not an employee, hence the lack of salary, hourly wage, etc. If they aren't an employee, they don't have the same expectations that you do at work. Sorry.

So that means they get to do whatever they want? I totally disagree.

I'm the poster above...editing to add -- I'm not going to get into a debate over this, which is what seems to happen on these boards. If you let your AP decide whether to follow your rules or not, that's your choice. I expect mine to do what I ask them to do.

[Anonymous]

No TV in our house so was never an issue!