Nanny is sick too often -- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I would attempt a reset. Why is she calling in sick; is she telling you? I very rarely use sick time, though have had some odd run-ins with illnesses over the years. Last year I went over but have had many years where I have used zero. Just know that there are many responsible, adult names that take their career seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would attempt a reset. Why is she calling in sick; is she telling you? I very rarely use sick time, though have had some odd run-ins with illnesses over the years. Last year I went over but have had many years where I have used zero. Just know that there are many responsible, adult names that take their career seriously.

Nannies, not names.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thanks for the suggestions and for sharing your experiences. It seems like she is quite far out on the bell curve when it comes to absenteeism; I do worry a little that we could be jumping from the fire into the frying pan if we sack her. For example, she is not addicted to her phone, which I understand is a problem with some nannies. Yes, she does usually say what's going on with her health; some of it sounds chronic, so it may not be able to be "reset." As one PP mentioned, it could be a matter of "fit," though I can't imagine any working parents who need a nanny being able to just roll with all the unplanned absences.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her, OP. If she has a chronic illness, she is not the right nanny for you. We’re her former employers SAHMs?

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read the thread, but could it be possible that’s SHES not actually “sick?” I was with my first family for 2.5 years and I ONLY called out sick when I got a respiratory infection. I was out a week. Other than that I would go to work if I knew I wasn’t contagious.

[Anonymous]

A HUGE characteristic of a stellar Nanny is one who can be depended on to show up for work PLUS be on time when doing so.

This ensures a calm start to every day.
Mornings w/young children can be very chaotic at best.

The transition should be seamless for all.
If the Nanny does not show up when she is supposed to then everything gets turned upside down.
Tenfold.

There are a ton of Nannies out there who prioritize reliability OP.
Find one & let your current one go.

Why should you + your husband sacrifice vacation days for this Nanny??!
She may ruin things for you if you continue employing her.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with finding a new nanny. Reliability is one of the biggest issues for us and I really probe that issue when talking with references. As an incentive not to use sick days frivolously we pay them out in cash at the end of the year if they aren't used.

I would LOVE that, but most employers won’t do it. When there’s no payout or rollover, it actually makes it an incentive for me to schedule doctor appointments during the day towards the end of the year, and then use the rest of the day for errands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for the suggestions and for sharing your experiences. It seems like she is quite far out on the bell curve when it comes to absenteeism; I do worry a little that we could be jumping from the fire into the frying pan if we sack her. For example, she is not addicted to her phone, which I understand is a problem with some nannies. Yes, she does usually say what's going on with her health; some of it sounds chronic, so it may not be able to be "reset." As one PP mentioned, it could be a matter of "fit," though I can't imagine any working parents who need a nanny being able to just roll with all the unplanned absences.

But a chronic illness shouldn’t be infectious, so she should still be able to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for the suggestions and for sharing your experiences. It seems like she is quite far out on the bell curve when it comes to absenteeism; I do worry a little that we could be jumping from the fire into the frying pan if we sack her. For example, she is not addicted to her phone, which I understand is a problem with some nannies. Yes, she does usually say what's going on with her health; some of it sounds chronic, so it may not be able to be "reset." As one PP mentioned, it could be a matter of "fit," though I can't imagine any working parents who need a nanny being able to just roll with all the unplanned absences.

But a chronic illness shouldn’t be infectious, so she should still be able to work.

I had a nanny with gallbladder disease. She was out a lot (or left early) because she was in too much GI pain to work. For a variety of reasons, it took her a long time to get treatment, by which time we had parted ways.

[Anonymous]

OP, your choice is not "unreliable but good in other ways" or "reliable, but addicted to her phone."

There are good nannies out there who are good, reliable, and willing to put their phones away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for the suggestions and for sharing your experiences. It seems like she is quite far out on the bell curve when it comes to absenteeism; I do worry a little that we could be jumping from the fire into the frying pan if we sack her. For example, she is not addicted to her phone, which I understand is a problem with some nannies. Yes, she does usually say what's going on with her health; some of it sounds chronic, so it may not be able to be "reset." As one PP mentioned, it could be a matter of "fit," though I can't imagine any working parents who need a nanny being able to just roll with all the unplanned absences.

But a chronic illness shouldn’t be infectious, so she should still be able to work.

I had a nanny with gallbladder disease. She was out a lot (or left early) because she was in too much GI pain to work. For a variety of reasons, it took her a long time to get treatment, by which time we had parted ways.

+1 Not all chronic illnesses can be "pushed through" so it's probably just not a good match for a nanny job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for the suggestions and for sharing your experiences. It seems like she is quite far out on the bell curve when it comes to absenteeism; I do worry a little that we could be jumping from the fire into the frying pan if we sack her. For example, she is not addicted to her phone, which I understand is a problem with some nannies. Yes, she does usually say what's going on with her health; some of it sounds chronic, so it may not be able to be "reset." As one PP mentioned, it could be a matter of "fit," though I can't imagine any working parents who need a nanny being able to just roll with all the unplanned absences.

But a chronic illness shouldn’t be infectious, so she should still be able to work.

I had a nanny with gallbladder disease. She was out a lot (or left early) because she was in too much GI pain to work. For a variety of reasons, it took her a long time to get treatment, by which time we had parted ways.

+1 Not all chronic illnesses can be "pushed through" so it's probably just not a good match for a nanny job.

While I agree with both PPs, the way OP was talking, it's not something chronic.

OP sounds more like she wants the nanny to stay home every time she has a runny nose or (slight) fever (maybe 99-100), which means she's going to have a hard time keeping a nanny. There are nannies who truly never have a runny nose, never have a fever, never get sick. But the majority of us just take medication and push through the random crud. If OP doesn't want a nanny to come in at all when there's anything going on, having a nanny won't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with finding a new nanny. Reliability is one of the biggest issues for us and I really probe that issue when talking with references. As an incentive not to use sick days frivolously we pay them out in cash at the end of the year if they aren't used.

OP here: Paying out sick days sounds good, except what about illnesses that are contagious: the flu, colds, etc? We don't want DC (infant) exposed, so that might not work for us. At this rate, though, we are burning through our own PTO and won't have much left for vacation or our own illnesses. Previous employers did not mention excessive sick time (we did ask!). I guess we'll have to cut her loose; it's just hard because she is a reasonably good nanny when she is present. Fortunately, our own PTO is calendar year based, so not accruing her leave won't matter as much if we replace her. I'm sorry for her health issues, but we can't put our own jobs at risk. Plus we'd like to take a family vacation in 2019!

Do you have her stay home for a common cold? Is she asking to stay home, or do you tell her to? She shouldn’t be staying home every time she has the sniffles! No wonder she’s burning through all of her leave. Have a conversation. Tell her you only want her to take sick dad when she has a fever/vomiting/absolutely cannot work. That’s what most people do. Otherwise, she should take some medicine and perk up.

OP here: No, I never tell her to stay home, but when she calls out sick, there is always an implied (or stated) "I wouldn't want DC to catch it" as part of the excuse for staying home. DC hasn't been sick with a cold yet, but I suppose when that happens, she'll blame some of her illnesses on that. But a lot of her issues are not contagious at all, more chronic/acute discomforts (e.g. GI, UTI, etc).

[Anonymous]

She needs a family with a more flexible schedule and you need more reliabilty. Your responsibility is to your family, not your nanny. Give her a parting bonus and any severance required and move along.

[Anonymous]

She stays home for a UTI? Are you kidding me?