au pair vs. nanny share vs. in-home daycare cost comparison

[Anonymous]

Oh -- APs can't work with newborns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you are also considering fit, here are some other points to keep in mind:

1) Daycares don't close because a single provider is sick -- AP and nanny care have that risk.
2) Daycares won't tailor everything to your child's preferences, like nap times, or way of being put to sleep, favorite foods, etc. -- AP and nanny care can provide that
3) AP can handle very early or late hours, but maxes out at 45 hours/wk; daycares have firm opening and closing times (mostly)
4) Nannies have no hard-and-fast max hours, but likely would not work a split schedule or very long hours (i.e., very early + very late)
5) Nannies and APs are employees, and you will have to be an employer/host mom; this means dealing with the kinds of things HR would deal with, managing quality control, responding to requests, training, etc..
6) You have no control over whom the daycare employs; you control who your nanny or AP is.
7) There are no major "hidden costs" to daycare. With an AP or nanny, you have to consider food, activities, setting up the house, taxes, unemployment insurance, etc..
8) The daycare will deal with conflicts between your family and another family if any arise; in a nanny share, your relationship with the other family is as big a deal as the nanny you pick.

If you have a standard 9-5 (or 8-6) job, and you are generally good at working with people, I think a nanny share offers a lot of perks.

I would really cross off the AP if you need full time care.

If you can never, ever miss work for caregiver illness, or your schedule changes, daycare will probably be your best option.

Hiring a nanny means being an employer. Aside from the cost, it's the biggest negative to nanny care. It is unlikely that you will get through the entire relationship without having to say "no" or asking her to do something differently. If that will be hard for you, it's something to consider.

I agree with so much of your post -- you pointed out great pros and cons for everything, except the part in bold. If they can never miss work, it will be an issue because children frequently get ill when they start daycare, and you have to be able to keep the child home in that case. Daycares usually have stricter policy in terms of illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh -- APs can't work with newborns.

I think IQ (infant qualified) APs can start when the infant is 3 months. Most nanny shares start sometime between 2 and 6 months, but it’s up the the individual nanny. And daycares gave their own guidelines, but due to illness, I wouldn’t even consider it until you think your baby has had enough vaccines to not be in danger if another child sneezes on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you are also considering fit, here are some other points to keep in mind:

1) Daycares don't close because a single provider is sick -- AP and nanny care have that risk.
2) Daycares won't tailor everything to your child's preferences, like nap times, or way of being put to sleep, favorite foods, etc. -- AP and nanny care can provide that
3) AP can handle very early or late hours, but maxes out at 45 hours/wk; daycares have firm opening and closing times (mostly)
4) Nannies have no hard-and-fast max hours, but likely would not work a split schedule or very long hours (i.e., very early + very late)
5) Nannies and APs are employees, and you will have to be an employer/host mom; this means dealing with the kinds of things HR would deal with, managing quality control, responding to requests, training, etc..
6) You have no control over whom the daycare employs; you control who your nanny or AP is.
7) There are no major "hidden costs" to daycare. With an AP or nanny, you have to consider food, activities, setting up the house, taxes, unemployment insurance, etc..
8) The daycare will deal with conflicts between your family and another family if any arise; in a nanny share, your relationship with the other family is as big a deal as the nanny you pick.

If you have a standard 9-5 (or 8-6) job, and you are generally good at working with people, I think a nanny share offers a lot of perks.

I would really cross off the AP if you need full time care.

If you can never, ever miss work for caregiver illness, or your schedule changes, daycare will probably be your best option.

Hiring a nanny means being an employer. Aside from the cost, it's the biggest negative to nanny care. It is unlikely that you will get through the entire relationship without having to say "no" or asking her to do something differently. If that will be hard for you, it's something to consider.

Thanks for this thoughtful response. My husband is in TV/film and works weird hours and travels quite a bit. I have flexibility to WFH when needed. I don't see us ever needing more than 45 hours of care/week, and the AP route has the advantage of giving our AP a day off during the week when my husband might have a day off and then having her there on the weekend if we want to go out for a bit.

I would be lying if I didn't say I am VERY nervous about having someone so young taking care of our infant child AND living in our house. It feels like a big adjustment when you're also trying to get used to life as a new family of three! That's why we are also still considering the much more expensive and less flexible nanny share route.

Just wanted to say that we hosted our first AP when our daughter was an infant, and having the baby was by far the bigger adjustment (vs. having the AP in our home). May as well have EVERYTHING change at once. You'll need infant qualified APs and can look for an older one (25 years+) if you want. Be sure she has extensive infant experience. Do provide her with a schedule in advance; working weekends cuts her usable social time, so that could be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above figures sound about right to me on AP:
$18,500 on official costs
$2,600 on food ($50 per week)
$1200 on phone ($100 per month)

You are already at $22,300 annually plus transporation costs (car insurance or metro/uber fares), classes, utilities, and not to mention that you are expected to take her on trips and cultural excursions, etc. it adds up a lot, and if you are using this person for childcare for 40-45 hrs per week and you give no frills she won’t be happy long comparing herself to friends with school-aged kids for 20 hours a week and a personal car, etc.

Home Day cares are relatively inexpensive but as tou have already found the issue is finding a slot.

For nanny shares, plan to pay around $10 per hour minimum and factor in employer taxes as well.

Thanks, this is very helpful. We're looking for a nanny with some significant experience so we've been seeing closer to $30 for 2 kids (or $15/household in share). We're discussing it but wondering if an au pair is more suitable from both a cost and convenience perspective. SO much to consider but this is a good start - thanks!

But a nanny with significant experience isn’t really comparable to the pool of APs. You need to decide whether you want to spring for the professional. FWIW, while I am sure the “revolving door nanny” poster will pop in to refute this, lots of families do well paying for the more expensive nanny option for a set period (say the first 18 months), then move to AP or daycare. That gives baby an experienced childcare provider for the early months but it gives your budget an end daye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh -- APs can't work with newborns.

OP here... I should clarify that by "newborn" I mean 4 months. Both LCC and APIA provide trained infant caregivers for 3 months and up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you are also considering fit, here are some other points to keep in mind:

1) Daycares don't close because a single provider is sick -- AP and nanny care have that risk.
2) Daycares won't tailor everything to your child's preferences, like nap times, or way of being put to sleep, favorite foods, etc. -- AP and nanny care can provide that
3) AP can handle very early or late hours, but maxes out at 45 hours/wk; daycares have firm opening and closing times (mostly)
4) Nannies have no hard-and-fast max hours, but likely would not work a split schedule or very long hours (i.e., very early + very late)
5) Nannies and APs are employees, and you will have to be an employer/host mom; this means dealing with the kinds of things HR would deal with, managing quality control, responding to requests, training, etc..
6) You have no control over whom the daycare employs; you control who your nanny or AP is.
7) There are no major "hidden costs" to daycare. With an AP or nanny, you have to consider food, activities, setting up the house, taxes, unemployment insurance, etc..
8) The daycare will deal with conflicts between your family and another family if any arise; in a nanny share, your relationship with the other family is as big a deal as the nanny you pick.

If you have a standard 9-5 (or 8-6) job, and you are generally good at working with people, I think a nanny share offers a lot of perks.

I would really cross off the AP if you need full time care.

If you can never, ever miss work for caregiver illness, or your schedule changes, daycare will probably be your best option.

Hiring a nanny means being an employer. Aside from the cost, it's the biggest negative to nanny care. It is unlikely that you will get through the entire relationship without having to say "no" or asking her to do something differently. If that will be hard for you, it's something to consider.

I agree with so much of your post -- you pointed out great pros and cons for everything, except the part in bold. If they can never miss work, it will be an issue because children frequently get ill when they start daycare, and you have to be able to keep the child home in that case. Daycares usually have stricter policy in terms of illness.

Notice that I said if the CAREGIVER gets sick in the bolded above. People expect to have to manage their sick days and their kids' sick days; some people can't also manage to handle a caregiver illness, especially if it goes on for a length of time, or happens frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above figures sound about right to me on AP:
$18,500 on official costs
$2,600 on food ($50 per week)
$1200 on phone ($100 per month)

You are already at $22,300 annually plus transporation costs (car insurance or metro/uber fares), classes, utilities, and not to mention that you are expected to take her on trips and cultural excursions, etc. it adds up a lot, and if you are using this person for childcare for 40-45 hrs per week and you give no frills she won’t be happy long comparing herself to friends with school-aged kids for 20 hours a week and a personal car, etc.

Home Day cares are relatively inexpensive but as tou have already found the issue is finding a slot.

For nanny shares, plan to pay around $10 per hour minimum and factor in employer taxes as well.

Thanks, this is very helpful. We're looking for a nanny with some significant experience so we've been seeing closer to $30 for 2 kids (or $15/household in share). We're discussing it but wondering if an au pair is more suitable from both a cost and convenience perspective. SO much to consider but this is a good start - thanks!

But a nanny with significant experience isn’t really comparable to the pool of APs. You need to decide whether you want to spring for the professional. FWIW, while I am sure the “revolving door nanny” poster will pop in to refute this, lots of families do well paying for the more expensive nanny option for a set period (say the first 18 months), then move to AP or daycare. That gives baby an experienced childcare provider for the early months but it gives your budget an end daye.

It sounds like OP needs really flexible hours, though, and needs a nanny share, not her own nanny. That kind of flexibility is easier with an AP than with a nanny who will likely have set hours and need to stick to those hours for another family as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above figures sound about right to me on AP:
$18,500 on official costs
$2,600 on food ($50 per week)
$1200 on phone ($100 per month)

You are already at $22,300 annually plus transporation costs (car insurance or metro/uber fares), classes, utilities, and not to mention that you are expected to take her on trips and cultural excursions, etc. it adds up a lot, and if you are using this person for childcare for 40-45 hrs per week and you give no frills she won’t be happy long comparing herself to friends with school-aged kids for 20 hours a week and a personal car, etc.

Home Day cares are relatively inexpensive but as tou have already found the issue is finding a slot.

For nanny shares, plan to pay around $10 per hour minimum and factor in employer taxes as well.

Thanks, this is very helpful. We're looking for a nanny with some significant experience so we've been seeing closer to $30 for 2 kids (or $15/household in share). We're discussing it but wondering if an au pair is more suitable from both a cost and convenience perspective. SO much to consider but this is a good start - thanks!

But a nanny with significant experience isn’t really comparable to the pool of APs. You need to decide whether you want to spring for the professional. FWIW, while I am sure the “revolving door nanny” poster will pop in to refute this, lots of families do well paying for the more expensive nanny option for a set period (say the first 18 months), then move to AP or daycare. That gives baby an experienced childcare provider for the early months but it gives your budget an end daye.

It sounds like OP needs really flexible hours, though, and needs a nanny share, not her own nanny. That kind of flexibility is easier with an AP than with a nanny who will likely have set hours and need to stick to those hours for another family as well.

I agree, but a nanny with a lot of experience is not an apples-to-apples bugetary comparison to an AP. A 25yo nanny on her first try at running a nanny share is more equivalent and OP could pay closer to $10 vs $15. And less flexibility but also minus the hassle of being host mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you are also considering fit, here are some other points to keep in mind:

1) Daycares don't close because a single provider is sick -- AP and nanny care have that risk.
2) Daycares won't tailor everything to your child's preferences, like nap times, or way of being put to sleep, favorite foods, etc. -- AP and nanny care can provide that
3) AP can handle very early or late hours, but maxes out at 45 hours/wk; daycares have firm opening and closing times (mostly)
4) Nannies have no hard-and-fast max hours, but likely would not work a split schedule or very long hours (i.e., very early + very late)
5) Nannies and APs are employees, and you will have to be an employer/host mom; this means dealing with the kinds of things HR would deal with, managing quality control, responding to requests, training, etc..
6) You have no control over whom the daycare employs; you control who your nanny or AP is.
7) There are no major "hidden costs" to daycare. With an AP or nanny, you have to consider food, activities, setting up the house, taxes, unemployment insurance, etc..
8) The daycare will deal with conflicts between your family and another family if any arise; in a nanny share, your relationship with the other family is as big a deal as the nanny you pick.

If you have a standard 9-5 (or 8-6) job, and you are generally good at working with people, I think a nanny share offers a lot of perks.

I would really cross off the AP if you need full time care.

If you can never, ever miss work for caregiver illness, or your schedule changes, daycare will probably be your best option.

Hiring a nanny means being an employer. Aside from the cost, it's the biggest negative to nanny care. It is unlikely that you will get through the entire relationship without having to say "no" or asking her to do something differently. If that will be hard for you, it's something to consider.

I agree with so much of your post -- you pointed out great pros and cons for everything, except the part in bold. If they can never miss work, it will be an issue because children frequently get ill when they start daycare, and you have to be able to keep the child home in that case. Daycares usually have stricter policy in terms of illness.

Notice that I said if the CAREGIVER gets sick in the bolded above. People expect to have to manage their sick days and their kids' sick days; some people can't also manage to handle a caregiver illness, especially if it goes on for a length of time, or happens frequently.

Yes, I can read. But nannies generally get sick far less than a child entering daycare for the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh -- APs can't work with newborns.

OP here... I should clarify that by "newborn" I mean 4 months. Both LCC and APIA provide trained infant caregivers for 3 months and up.

Good luck with that. You don't sound that bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck with that. You don't sound that bright.

haha, based on the fact that I clarified exactly what age newborn I am seeking care for? There's a huge difference between a 6 week old and a 4 month old, both in the eyes of the AP agencies and from a care-needs perspective. Sharing this with you because, ya know, you don't seem too bright

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you are also considering fit, here are some other points to keep in mind:

1) Daycares don't close because a single provider is sick -- AP and nanny care have that risk.
2) Daycares won't tailor everything to your child's preferences, like nap times, or way of being put to sleep, favorite foods, etc. -- AP and nanny care can provide that
3) AP can handle very early or late hours, but maxes out at 45 hours/wk; daycares have firm opening and closing times (mostly)
4) Nannies have no hard-and-fast max hours, but likely would not work a split schedule or very long hours (i.e., very early + very late)
5) Nannies and APs are employees, and you will have to be an employer/host mom; this means dealing with the kinds of things HR would deal with, managing quality control, responding to requests, training, etc..
6) You have no control over whom the daycare employs; you control who your nanny or AP is.
7) There are no major "hidden costs" to daycare. With an AP or nanny, you have to consider food, activities, setting up the house, taxes, unemployment insurance, etc..
8) The daycare will deal with conflicts between your family and another family if any arise; in a nanny share, your relationship with the other family is as big a deal as the nanny you pick.

If you have a standard 9-5 (or 8-6) job, and you are generally good at working with people, I think a nanny share offers a lot of perks.

I would really cross off the AP if you need full time care.

If you can never, ever miss work for caregiver illness, or your schedule changes, daycare will probably be your best option.

Hiring a nanny means being an employer. Aside from the cost, it's the biggest negative to nanny care. It is unlikely that you will get through the entire relationship without having to say "no" or asking her to do something differently. If that will be hard for you, it's something to consider.

I agree with so much of your post -- you pointed out great pros and cons for everything, except the part in bold. If they can never miss work, it will be an issue because children frequently get ill when they start daycare, and you have to be able to keep the child home in that case. Daycares usually have stricter policy in terms of illness.

Notice that I said if the CAREGIVER gets sick in the bolded above. People expect to have to manage their sick days and their kids' sick days; some people can't also manage to handle a caregiver illness, especially if it goes on for a length of time, or happens frequently.

Yes, I can read. But nannies generally get sick far less than a child entering daycare for the first time.

m
NP here, and I agree. I ended up hiring a nanny because I couldn't keep taking off work with daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you are also considering fit, here are some other points to keep in mind:

1) Daycares don't close because a single provider is sick -- AP and nanny care have that risk.
2) Daycares won't tailor everything to your child's preferences, like nap times, or way of being put to sleep, favorite foods, etc. -- AP and nanny care can provide that
3) AP can handle very early or late hours, but maxes out at 45 hours/wk; daycares have firm opening and closing times (mostly)
4) Nannies have no hard-and-fast max hours, but likely would not work a split schedule or very long hours (i.e., very early + very late)
5) Nannies and APs are employees, and you will have to be an employer/host mom; this means dealing with the kinds of things HR would deal with, managing quality control, responding to requests, training, etc..
6) You have no control over whom the daycare employs; you control who your nanny or AP is.
7) There are no major "hidden costs" to daycare. With an AP or nanny, you have to consider food, activities, setting up the house, taxes, unemployment insurance, etc..
8) The daycare will deal with conflicts between your family and another family if any arise; in a nanny share, your relationship with the other family is as big a deal as the nanny you pick.

If you have a standard 9-5 (or 8-6) job, and you are generally good at working with people, I think a nanny share offers a lot of perks.

I would really cross off the AP if you need full time care.

If you can never, ever miss work for caregiver illness, or your schedule changes, daycare will probably be your best option.

Hiring a nanny means being an employer. Aside from the cost, it's the biggest negative to nanny care. It is unlikely that you will get through the entire relationship without having to say "no" or asking her to do something differently. If that will be hard for you, it's something to consider.

Thanks for this thoughtful response. My husband is in TV/film and works weird hours and travels quite a bit. I have flexibility to WFH when needed. I don't see us ever needing more than 45 hours of care/week, and the AP route has the advantage of giving our AP a day off during the week when my husband might have a day off and then having her there on the weekend if we want to go out for a bit.

I would be lying if I didn't say I am VERY nervous about having someone so young taking care of our infant child AND living in our house. It feels like a big adjustment when you're also trying to get used to life as a new family of three! That's why we are also still considering the much more expensive and less flexible nanny share route.

FYI, you might not be aware that Au Pairs with APIA and Cultural Care are required to have 36 consecutive hours off every week. So, you can't have Au Pair work, for example, 9am to 4pm Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri AND expect her to work Saturday night and return to work Monday morning because she would not be getting her required consecutive 36 hours off per week.

https://kpaydo.aupairnews.com/2014/11/18/what-does-the-cultural-care-program-rule-of-1-½-consecutive-days-off-mean/

However, you could make this scenario workable if you either let her start work later on Monday (like noon instead of 9am) OR if you have her work Friday night or Saturday morning (brunch date?) instead of Saturday night.

Nannies have none of these regulations to consider and every nanny I know is willing and often able to cover weekend date nights for her nanny families.

Another thing to consider is that yes, there are many nightmare stories out there for both awful au pairs and awful nannies. The biggest difference though, is in how easy it is to handle the situation, make a clean break and move on. With a live out nanny, of course in a "nightmare" situation it is never easy, but ultimately you fire her, say goodbye, and literally never have to see her again or have any repercussions, other than finding a new nanny. With an Au Pair, you have to go through the mediation process with the LCC, may need to continue housing the au pair for a few weeks while her situation gets sorted out, probably won't be getting any of your thousands of dollars in annual fees back, and are lucky if you can find a halfway decent replacement in the rematch pool (or you can wait several more weeks for a brand new au pair to arrive from overseas).

Good luck!