Nanny referred to ds as "what's his name"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. To the nasty ones, that really wasn't necessary. I am not in any way shape or form jealous of our nanny and she and my husband can talk about whatever they like.

My issue was just that she doesn't seem this way when she is with me. It's always more professional and it seemed as if she and dh don't take things that should be, seriously. I just kept trying to imagine her being this lax with me in a convo and can't even picture it. She certainly wouldn't joke about my children's names and just call them any ole thing the way she did with him. I don't know, maybe she was just trying to make dh laugh.

She is a great nanny and the longest we have had one. We are very pleased and she knows how much I appreciate her. But the way they were chatting just sort of made me wonder if she is "turning it on" for me when I'm around and when I'm not she just lets go.

We have nanny cams (don't use them anymore but they are still in place) and when she first started we used them for about a year and always liked what we saw. But of course you can't hear what is being said on camera. It just made me wonder how she speaks to the kids.
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You probably aren't as relaxed as your husband and therefore, your nanny feels more comfortable with being herself around dad than you. I've had parents were the mom was more straightforward/ stern and dad was laid back and vice versa. You should be concern with the nanny not be comfortable around you instead of forgetting your child's name. I call my charges each other's name all the time. Hell, I've even heard the moms call their kids my name! Lol! Don't sweat it. Try to relax!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. To the nasty ones, that really wasn't necessary. I am not in any way shape or form jealous of our nanny and she and my husband can talk about whatever they like.

My issue was just that she doesn't seem this way when she is with me. It's always more professional and it seemed as if she and dh don't take things that should be, seriously. I just kept trying to imagine her being this lax with me in a convo and can't even picture it. She certainly wouldn't joke about my children's names and just call them any ole thing the way she did with him. I don't know, maybe she was just trying to make dh laugh.

She is a great nanny and the longest we have had one. We are very pleased and she knows how much I appreciate her. But the way they were chatting just sort of made me wonder if she is "turning it on" for me when I'm around and when I'm not she just lets go.

We have nanny cams (don't use them anymore but they are still in place) and when she first started we used them for about a year and always liked what we saw. But of course you can't hear what is being said on camera. It just made me wonder how she speaks to the kids.

Let's see, in the last week (50+ hours with kids, 5+ with employers):

I called the youngest by my brother's name, then they asked who that was. He had done something that always made me laugh when my brother did it.

I called the two boys by each others' names a few times.

I called the youngest by a former charge's name, because they look similar from the back, and he was doing something that my former charge loved to do. He got a kick out of seeing a picture of each of them from the back and comparing.

I called the girl by my sister's name because she said something exactly in the same tone and manner my sister would, and by her her mother's name (same reason). She's heard about my sister (and likes what she's heard), so she felt okay about it.

I called the dad by my friend's name because he was joking around like him.

I called the mom by a former employer's name because we were gossiping about my current employer's family and it's something I used to do with my former employer too.

[Anonymous]

I forgot my kid's birthday when I made his dentist appointment yesterday. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

I call my kids by the wrong names occasionally, I forget their birthdates when asked out of the blue, sometimes I can't even remember my own birthdate. People do this. You sound unbalanced.