Firing offense or no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of assuming the worst, have you told her what your daughter said? Kids concept of time is not ,as you should know, very reliable.
Maybe she got held up during the pick up or understimated how long it would take her.

You need to communicate with your nanny and not take your kids word for it.

Her 9yr old brother confirms they were left home together. I base my time estimate on the average amount of time it would take me to and from camp plus "extraction" time to get my kid to actually leave. Camps usually have a slow drip at checkout with kids not really quite ready for another 5-10 minutes, plus my son loves to linger.

This is the start of our third week with her. During her first week, she showed up 15 min late on day 1, 20 min late on day 2. I told her we needed reliable on time arrival, she apologized, has been on time since then. But this just feels like really poor judgment.

Regardless of this latest incident, it's clear things aren't working out and you aren't happy with her job performance. Probably better to find someone who is more reliable

[Anonymous]

this is on you for saying that the kids could be home alone for short stretches of time. how was she to know that although the nine year old could be home alone for a few minutes, you meant never with your 6 year old? if you want her to understand your rules, be clear about them-she would never assume that was okay if you hadn't told her so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is on you for saying that the kids could be home alone for short stretches of time. how was she to know that although the nine year old could be home alone for a few minutes, you meant never with your 6 year old? if you want her to understand your rules, be clear about them-she would never assume that was okay if you hadn't told her so.

Well, her hints were that I said THE BOYS, used the names of the boys, and provided clear parameters for when the two BOYS, named (name 1 and name 2), could stay home together. There's also this thing called common sense. My daughter is six. The boys are 9 and 11. See any difference?

By your logic, if I told her the oldest can walk the dog up our block, does that mean that our four year old can also do so?

[Anonymous]

Write down the rule, give her a warning.
Make sure your children fill you in and tell the truth.
Fire her if it happens again, or if she is not understanding the rationale of why age kid can be home alone w/o breaking cps law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of your kids should stay home alone !
You're a bad parent and you got a bad nanny.

An 11 yr old shouldn't stay home alone? I stayed home alone starting in second grade, at age 6.5 and never had a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is on you for saying that the kids could be home alone for short stretches of time. how was she to know that although the nine year old could be home alone for a few minutes, you meant never with your 6 year old? if you want her to understand your rules, be clear about them-she would never assume that was okay if you hadn't told her so.

Well, her hints were that I said THE BOYS, used the names of the boys, and provided clear parameters for when the two BOYS, named (name 1 and name 2), could stay home together. There's also this thing called common sense. My daughter is six. The boys are 9 and 11. See any difference?

By your logic, if I told her the oldest can walk the dog up our block, does that mean that our four year old can also do so?

My youngest two are three years apart and when the older was nine it would have been fine to leave the two of them home together for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave any of them home alone. If you insisted I would quit.

Me too. I almost quit my last job bc the mother left sleeping babies home while she picked up the older child from a school in the neighborhood. Obviously that is a different situation, but similar. No need for any of the children to be left at home.

[Anonymous]

I know your oldest two have always been okay staying in the home by themselves, but honestly due to their age(s), I would always have them w/the Nanny for liability + safety issues.

Perhaps she misunderstood your instructions however her tardiness added on to this makes her total job performance to a zero in my book.

I would let her go & just pay her for the remainder of this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is on you for saying that the kids could be home alone for short stretches of time. how was she to know that although the nine year old could be home alone for a few minutes, you meant never with your 6 year old? if you want her to understand your rules, be clear about them-she would never assume that was okay if you hadn't told her so.

Well, her hints were that I said THE BOYS, used the names of the boys, and provided clear parameters for when the two BOYS, named (name 1 and name 2), could stay home together. There's also this thing called common sense. My daughter is six. The boys are 9 and 11. See any difference?

By your logic, if I told her the oldest can walk the dog up our block, does that mean that our four year old can also do so?

Actually, the more analogous situation would be whether the four-year-old can walk the dog with the oldest. I think your instructions might have been unclear--she left the six-year-old with a kid who you had explicitly said could be home alone. She didn't leave the six-year-old home alone.

I mean, fire her if you want, but I think your instructions were ambiguous enough that she might have thought she was complying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is on you for saying that the kids could be home alone for short stretches of time. how was she to know that although the nine year old could be home alone for a few minutes, you meant never with your 6 year old? if you want her to understand your rules, be clear about them-she would never assume that was okay if you hadn't told her so.

Well, her hints were that I said THE BOYS, used the names of the boys, and provided clear parameters for when the two BOYS, named (name 1 and name 2), could stay home together. There's also this thing called common sense. My daughter is six. The boys are 9 and 11. See any difference?

By your logic, if I told her the oldest can walk the dog up our block, does that mean that our four year old can also do so?

Actually, the more analogous situation would be whether the four-year-old can walk the dog with the oldest. I think your instructions might have been unclear--she left the six-year-old with a kid who you had explicitly said could be home alone. She didn't leave the six-year-old home alone.

I mean, fire her if you want, but I think your instructions were ambiguous enough that she might have thought she was complying.

Okay. If someone can't pick up context, or ask clarifying questions, I don't want that person taking care of my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Write down the rule, give her a warning.
Make sure your children fill you in and tell the truth.
Fire her if it happens again, or if she is not understanding the rationale of why age kid can be home alone w/o breaking cps law.

Agree. She's here for only 2 more weeks. She has no common sense but I'd let it go.

[Anonymous]

why are you giving her "hints" about your rules? you said something that wasn't clear, she made a judgment call, and now the onus is on you to clarify specifically what you expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why are you giving her "hints" about your rules? you said something that wasn't clear, she made a judgment call, and now the onus is on you to clarify specifically what you expect.

Okay. Your definition of "hint" is different from mine.

The boys have soccer on Tuesdays. What that means is that the boys have soccer on Tuesdays. Not that the girls also secretly have soccer on Tuesday and I'm hoping you'll glean that from my statement specifying boys.

The boys know how to swim. That means the boys know how to swim. It does not mean that little sister knows how to swim.

The sky is blue. I did not specify that the trees are not also blue so I guess that's a reasonable assumption in that the sky is outside and so are the trees.

[Anonymous]

OMG OP, seriously????
I posted before here.
You hired an inexperienced nanny, I don't care how much experience she has being a camp counselor where there are other adults running the camp!

This is what's wrong with many nanny jobs, parents and nannies don't talk, and that leads to nannies being fired without warnings, and moms being upset.

You made a commitment to her regarding a job, you have to specify what's important for you, set some ground rules, do that with the next nanny. If there's a problem, talk to her and have her apologize and fix the issue. If it's something serious, fire her.

That's why it's easier to spend more money and hire experienced nannies, although not everybody is perfect.
Not even moms, everybody makes mistakes.
I've been doing nanny jobs for over a decade, and realized that every family is different, has different rules.
But at least I have enough common sense to not leave kids in the home, ever. And personally even if u told me it's ok to leave your 11 year old at home, I'd say I don't feel comfortable. I'm the one who can end up in jail. Why would I risk my life for that? Your kid could run onto the street anytime, I'm sure a 11 year old is old enough to know how to open windows, doors and maybe even turn on the stove. Maybe he would play a trick on the nanny. What is wrong with you??? You're the mom who hired someone inexperienced, plus it's illegal to leave young children home alone.

[Anonymous]

You hired a babysitter who needs to be micro managed until her time with you is done. Make everything crystal clear to her, write all instructions down, and stay on top of her. Next summer you might consider hiring a competent nanny instead of a babysitter who needs her hand held.