Toddlers, biting, and a nanny share!

[Anonymous]

If your kid bit my kid five times, I would have raised holy hell at the second bite. It is not all right and your kid should be removed until he stops biting.

[Anonymous]

At that age, they need to be supervised very closely and never left alone together, even for a moment.

Why was the nanny at work with pneumonia, and taking care of kids with the "mild flu" to boot? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid bit my kid five times, I would have raised holy hell at the second bite. It is not all right and your kid should be removed until he stops biting.

Then I wish you luck having a nanny share or using daycare. Many children bite, hit, push others down. They are learning, they need to be corrected, not removed from the situation so that they keep doing it later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid bit my kid five times, I would have raised holy hell at the second bite. It is not all right and your kid should be removed until he stops biting.

Then I wish you luck having a nanny share or using daycare. Many children bite, hit, push others down. They are learning, they need to be corrected, not removed from the situation so that they keep doing it later.

And many reputable daycare centers will part ways with a child who repeatedly bites another child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid bit my kid five times, I would have raised holy hell at the second bite. It is not all right and your kid should be removed until he stops biting.

Then I wish you luck having a nanny share or using daycare. Many children bite, hit, push others down. They are learning, they need to be corrected, not removed from the situation so that they keep doing it later.

And many reputable daycare centers will part ways with a child who repeatedly bites another child.

+1 The better preschools will expel a repeated biter as well. Right or wrong, the other mother has the right to be upset and demand that the biter leave the share.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the nanny was watching the children while she had pneumonia and the other Mom's kids had pneumonia. I kept my child out much of that time but he had a cold with a cough (no fever) while I had the flu. I really couldn't even supervise him well when I felt that sick and the one day I kept my son with me, was like living hell and I had to turn the tv on which was a first for us. I had to have my husband stay home and care for our child while I rested so I can only imagine how someone 30 years older than me with pneumonia must have felt attempting to care for 2 kids.

I just took my son to a play date yesterday with another child who is also 20 months. That child began hitting and pushing mine quite a bit and the other Mom was scolding her little one. My experience with my child is that he is easily re-directed and if you just ask him to help with something, he will often just go ahead and do it! He LOVES to help and be called a helper. He lightly pushed the other child once or twice (as in the other child did not fall or anything, it was more like a warning tap) but overall was he really very well behaved. He even began drinking the other boys cups to him and took turns on the toys. When we take him to the playground or to our local children's museum, he does not play badly with the other kids! I mean, they aren't really playing together of course but he isn't aggressive or anything. I watch him like a hawk of course! He tried to bite me once but it wasn't hard and I immediately addressed it. He does try to bite my husband who could improve how he responds to him when he does it a bit.

I'm starting to feel like our nanny isn't supervising him closely enough. We live in a townhouse and so she obviously has to bring all 3 kids upstairs to put the younger two down for their naps. We noticed on Friday that our bedroom door (which is also upstairs) had been opened, a light turned on, a flashlight turned on, and some of our stuff moved around. My 20 month old isn't really able to do all of that and my bedroom is not 100% childproofed! I'm pretty sure it was the 3 year old playing in my room but we don't allow the children in there.

I understand that sometimes children act TOTALLY different when they aren't with their parents so it's possible my child is just extra aggressive when I'm not there but this just isn't my experience. When my parents occasionally watch him and take him to the playground or children's museum, they've said that he interacts really well with the other children!

I need to talk with the nanny AGAIN. She is not a very assertive person and she's never managed multiple toddlers at once. I'm really starting to feel like this is more of a supervision issue. Of course, we are working on it as well because he clearly did use his own mouth to bite another child so he is still responsible for his own behavior.

[Anonymous]

I think you will probably need to find another share or another nanny. If she isn't assertive she'll never be able to manage 3 children - there are TWO toddlers in the 20-24 month old range and a 3 1/2 year old? With a nanny who doesn't have experience doing this and isn't assertive? Yeah, it's a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you will probably need to find another share or another nanny. If she isn't assertive she'll never be able to manage 3 children - there are TWO toddlers in the 20-24 month old range and a 3 1/2 year old? With a nanny who doesn't have experience doing this and isn't assertive? Yeah, it's a recipe for disaster.

+1 time for a new nanny

[Anonymous]

It's age appropriate for a 20 month old to bite. It isn't age appropriate for a 3.5-year-old to bite.

It happens, and the mom needs to chill because eventually her kid is going to bite or pinch or be the aggressor too. It sucks to see your kid hurt, but it's a part of life and being a bitch won't solve a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you will probably need to find another share or another nanny. If she isn't assertive she'll never be able to manage 3 children - there are TWO toddlers in the 20-24 month old range and a 3 1/2 year old? With a nanny who doesn't have experience doing this and isn't assertive? Yeah, it's a recipe for disaster.

I think her lack of assertiveness is definitely a problem. She also changes what she says A LOT and it seems like it depends on her mood. One day, she said that she would just like working for me plus one other family and then we have several talks about what that would look like. We determined that would mean 2 children full-time and eventually my child would go to preschool half-time so she would still only have 2 kids full-time plus my other child half-time. It looks like that would eventually mean a 3 year old, 2 year old, and a newborn. She just began saying yesterday that she would love just to watch 2 kids and that with 3 they would be in the same situation they are in now. IT's getting frustrating with all the run around she's giving me. Either you want to go with the plan that I'm offering or you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's age appropriate for a 20 month old to bite. It isn't age appropriate for a 3.5-year-old to bite.

It happens, and the mom needs to chill because eventually her kid is going to bite or pinch or be the aggressor too. It sucks to see your kid hurt, but it's a part of life and being a bitch won't solve a thing.

No, it's actually a relatively new phenomenon that it's "age appropriate".

It's angry AGGRESSION, plain and simple.