Nonproactive nanny who won't schedule playdates

[Anonymous]

Can you be more specific. Instead of saying I want you to set up play dates - say

"This week, please set up one play date for DD to occur before Friday." "Please also find and attend three activities that are age appropriate outside the house for her to attend." Provide me with the schedule. You can use nap time to research. Here are a few resources, but feel free to find your own."

That way she has a clear goal. If she can't meet that then you can really discuss with her.

I had told our nanny that she needs to find 1 activity per day that DS could attend that was age appropriate. I had some ideas and then she found her own. FYI - she had never been a nanny nor lived in the area and did just fine. she found fun stuff I have never even heard off. Lots of free concerts for kids and story times around here. I paid for a few things too - which was fine.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback to everyone who responded. I think I have an idea of what to try out with the nanny. I am going to ask her to put together a daily schedule in advance and tell me what it is. Also going to have a sit-down with her beginning of the week to review what the week is going to look like. While she is not a naturally organized person and will need time to adjust to this, I think it will help her ultimately. I think since DD transitioned to one nap, she's been struggling because whatever routine they used to have no longer works and she hasn't figured out yet what the new routine should be.

To 18:43. I hear what you are saying about using back-up to fill in extra hours, but in my experience, it is really not easy to find someone to fill in for a few hours during the day on a weekday. I know there are people with that kind of availability, e.g., students, but their schedule changes every semester so basically every few months, I have to find new students whose availability matches with our needs.

To 20:39. An 18 month old may not form friendships the way an older child does, but they can get attached to kids they regularly see and whose company they enjoy. I can tell when DD likes another toddler and when she doesn't and how differently she reacts when she meets up with one she likes vs. one she doesn't. Recently, one of our mom and toddler friends came back from a long vacation and DD got so excited when she saw the girl! She could not stop waving and grinning from ear to ear. I had never seen her react to anyone like that except DH, me and her nanny. Having said that, I don't think all kids this age are like this, I see some are happy to play with anyone whereas others like DD have their preferences.

[Anonymous]

This may not be what you're looking for but if your nanny can't get a grasp of what you're wanting have you considered looking for a possible nanny share to join? Since you're looking for someone for part-time flexible hours you might could see if one of DD's friend's regular nannies would be interested in having DD join in sort of a part-time nanny share situation? The two pluses of this would be you'd be able to get a more experienced nanny for the hours you're looking for and also it would ensure that DD would always have a friend to play with no matter if they scheduled other playdates or not. However, if you really value the one-on-one attention your DD gets from her nanny that might not be an option for you.