Nanny & WAHM situation getting difficult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ clearly written by a parent because no nanny who has had to endure WAHM or maternity leave parents would ever say such thing.

I would 'X' the days off the calendar during MBs maternity leave, it was pure hell.

Ha! Wrong. Nanny who has worked with multiple sets of WAH parents...hard to swallow that all nannies don't hate the people they work for, I know.

[Anonymous]

We built a high quality shed with windows, heating/AC, internet/phone, and electricity in our yard and finished the interior as an office. If zoning will allow, may be an option. There is a bathroom off of the entrance of the house I can sneak in and use without being in the areas nanny and DD are.

I have rented office space before and this wasn't much more expensive over a years time, plus all the perks of working from home without most of the downsides. I pack a lunch out with me, have a mini fridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ clearly written by a parent because no nanny who has had to endure WAHM or maternity leave parents would ever say such thing.

I would 'X' the days off the calendar during MBs maternity leave, it was pure hell.

Ha! Wrong. Nanny who has worked with multiple sets of WAH parents...hard to swallow that all nannies don't hate the people they work for, I know.

[b]

Well then you must have worked for some exceptional people because I'd rather work as a scullery maid than a nanny for WAHM/SAHM parents.

[Anonymous]

You could also try renting office or desk space. There's many around. Though if you're on the phone a lot and need your own office it can get expensive.

[Anonymous]

put a desk in your bedroom and move your office into there for the short-term. DON'T let toddler know you are in there. Say goodbye in the morning and walk out the front door, then sneak back in to your bedroom and LOCK it.
Do this for a few weeks until toddler gets used to you not being there. Then you can move back into your office, but LOCK it, and still sneak back in when toddler isn't looking.

Otherwise relocate to Starbucks or Library for a few weeks until toddler calms down.

[Anonymous]

I had this situation too OP and it didn't matter that my office was upstairs. He knew I was up there. I ended up taking him to a great small home daycare and it's perfect- we're both much happier

[Anonymous]

Our nanny interviewed for a job where the mom works from home when she's not traveling. Our nanny isn't interested -- said that it wouldn't work out. Babies know that their mom is home and the nanny has to constantly keep them quiet so they don't disturb the parents. Recipe for disaster!!

[Anonymous]

I'm working with WAHM since 6 years ! Somedays I feel I do not want to go there ! She doesn't know how to shut the door ! I hear all the conference phone calls and what she talks about,loudly. Kids are very good but they are kids ! I have talked to her giving me privacy and I go shut the door but that lasts only so long. While changing diapers both parents hovering around in the babies room. Now I'm always out 9:30-12:30 pm. In the morning both parents wandering around for over an hr. I don't understand why some people like to shit doors wide open. I'm looking for an other job now. Can't do this anymore .

[Anonymous]

I am working with WAHM rightnow, this is something I won't do again in future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:put a desk in your bedroom and move your office into there for the short-term. DON'T let toddler know you are in there. Say goodbye in the morning and walk out the front door, then sneak back in to your bedroom and LOCK it.
Do this for a few weeks until toddler gets used to you not being there. Then you can move back into your office, but LOCK it, and still sneak back in when toddler isn't looking.

Otherwise relocate to Starbucks or Library for a few weeks until toddler calms down.

This x100

Pretend youre going to work, say goodbye to your kid. Sneak back in and lock the door, put paper over it on a curtain or something if he can see through it. At the end of the day make a big deal of coming back in through the front door.

[Anonymous]

I lock the door. It really helps.

[Anonymous]

Op you need to set the standard.

Tell little one you are working. Send him back to nanny.
Teach him to knock. If you say come in, then he can.

I've worked for 6 stay at home and work from home parents over the past 25 years.

It's doable, but you need to be the "bigger" one and call the shots, not your child

[Anonymous]

To the nannys that are saying this can never work well- wrong. It just requires the right physical set up, consistency in communication, and nanny and MB personalities and communications. While my home office set up is a lot more ideal than OP with an office above the garage and separated by two doors and a staircase from the rest of the house, there are still some tips of how to make this work that should work for you

Have a consistent morning routine and a way you say goodbye in the morning. I don't sneak in and out, we instead all treat me going into my office as if I am walking out the front door to go to work

The door to the office has a child safety lock on and it and we keep it shut at all times, whether I am in there or not. It is clear to the kids that it is a space only for mom's work

We almost never take the kids into the office and on the rare occassion we do they know it is a big thing. It is never on a weekday, always on a weekend - think equivalent of visiting a parent at work

I come out at the same time each day to briefly see them and say hi. It is just before they go out for their activities which they are more excited to do than stay home with me.

Otherwise, I stay in there if nanny and kids are home. They keep a consistent schedule as well so I can come out and eat lunch while they are out having fun.

Nanny and I use text to communicate as needed during the day, the same way I imagine we would if I weren't at home. She texts me a photo or two a day so I get to see the kids. I never asked her to do that she just does it because she knows ii like it

When we hired our nanny we were very clear she was in total charge while working. And we have lived up to that. There is a tremendous amount of mutual respect for the work we are each doing and staying out of each other's way. We also happen to like each other which I think helps a lot in finding the right balance.

[Anonymous]

I work from home and have since he was 3 months old but I work upstairs and so with a gate he can't come upstairs on his own. The only way this works is you are completely gone. Agree with the PP that you lock the door and that's it. Our nanny goes out with my son twice a day so I do get to circulate but I certainly don't expect her to be out all day or in the pouring rain, so I need to make sure I have what I need in my bedroom, but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

I work from home a couple days per week, in the office the rest.

Get a lock on your office door. Just don't answer if DC comes knocking. He might scream the first few times, but he'll get it. But don't answer at all or it's all over. Just keep the consistent message that you can't be disturbed when you're working.

Get baby gates. They can be in the play area with a gate, then the nanny can open the gate to go to the kitchen or bathroom. We have several baby gates so the kids can run around without wandering off. They're great!

A decent nanny should be able to hang out with a toddler and get some tasks done. The gates will help to keep DC in the same area so she can keep an eye on him.

Oh, and ignore the obvious nanny trolls . . .

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