Nanny candidate has a criminal record. Would you hire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From another point of view: I would suggest asking her about it. There may be missing info. For example, my neighbor has an assault charge on her record. She was in a physically abusive relationship. She was beaten almost daily. The day she decided to defend herself her husband called the cops on her. She was arrested and convicted. So yes-she assaulted someone. But the reality is that sometimes there is a legit reason for it. Domestic violence is the first thing that came to mind. My neighbor is no longer in that relationship and I would hire her in a heartbeat. She isn't a violent and dangerous person. She was just in a bad situation.

To be clear I am NOT saying this is the case with this person, but asking her about it might be worth your time.

I have two friends in the same situation.

Ask her about it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From another point of view: I would suggest asking her about it. There may be missing info. For example, my neighbor has an assault charge on her record. She was in a physically abusive relationship. She was beaten almost daily. The day she decided to defend herself her husband called the cops on her. She was arrested and convicted. So yes-she assaulted someone. But the reality is that sometimes there is a legit reason for it. Domestic violence is the first thing that came to mind. My neighbor is no longer in that relationship and I would hire her in a heartbeat. She isn't a violent and dangerous person. She was just in a bad situation.

To be clear I am NOT saying this is the case with this person, but asking her about it might be worth your time.

I have two friends in the same situation.

Ask her about it, OP.

You would hire a women who stayed with an abusive man to watch your children? With her judgement and history of bad decisions you would really trust her to raise your children??? Are you serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From another point of view: I would suggest asking her about it. There may be missing info. For example, my neighbor has an assault charge on her record. She was in a physically abusive relationship. She was beaten almost daily. The day she decided to defend herself her husband called the cops on her. She was arrested and convicted. So yes-she assaulted someone. But the reality is that sometimes there is a legit reason for it. Domestic violence is the first thing that came to mind. My neighbor is no longer in that relationship and I would hire her in a heartbeat. She isn't a violent and dangerous person. She was just in a bad situation.

To be clear I am NOT saying this is the case with this person, but asking her about it might be worth your time.

I have two friends in the same situation.

Ask her about it, OP.

You would hire a women who stayed with an abusive man to watch your children? With her judgement and history of bad decisions you would really trust her to raise your children??? Are you serious.

If you've never been in an abusive relationship please don't judge others who have. I always wondered why women stayed in bad relationships until it happened to me. It's a lot easier to tell someone to leave than t is to actually leave. A LOT of factors play into that decision. That does NOT mean that her judgement is bad with everything. Some of the nicest, sweetest and most caring people I've known have been in abusive relationships. My personal concern would be if she is still in the relationship. I would be worried about it affecting her state of mind daily (not meaning that she would hurt the kids, but that she wouldn't be completely focused on the job) or that her husband would come around my kids. That being said, if someone was in a bad relationship in the past and isn't now, I absolutely do NOT think that's a reason to NOT hire someone. OP I suggest asking her about it. Who knows why she spent two months in jail. Maybe it was for something legitimately bad or maybe she didn't have enough money to pay her bail. It can't hurt to ask. Once you have the facts then go with your gut feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From another point of view: I would suggest asking her about it. There may be missing info. For example, my neighbor has an assault charge on her record. She was in a physically abusive relationship. She was beaten almost daily. The day she decided to defend herself her husband called the cops on her. She was arrested and convicted. So yes-she assaulted someone. But the reality is that sometimes there is a legit reason for it. Domestic violence is the first thing that came to mind. My neighbor is no longer in that relationship and I would hire her in a heartbeat. She isn't a violent and dangerous person. She was just in a bad situation.

To be clear I am NOT saying this is the case with this person, but asking her about it might be worth your time.

I have two friends in the same situation.

Ask her about it, OP.

You would hire a women who stayed with an abusive man to watch your children? With her judgement and history of bad decisions you would really trust her to raise your children??? Are you serious.

If you've never been in an abusive relationship please don't judge others who have. I always wondered why women stayed in bad relationships until it happened to me. It's a lot easier to tell someone to leave than t is to actually leave. A LOT of factors play into that decision. That does NOT mean that her judgement is bad with everything. Some of the nicest, sweetest and most caring people I've known have been in abusive relationships. My personal concern would be if she is still in the relationship. I would be worried about it affecting her state of mind daily (not meaning that she would hurt the kids, but that she wouldn't be completely focused on the job) or that her husband would come around my kids. That being said, if someone was in a bad relationship in the past and isn't now, I absolutely do NOT think that's a reason to NOT hire someone. OP I suggest asking her about it. Who knows why she spent two months in jail. Maybe it was for something legitimately bad or maybe she didn't have enough money to pay her bail. It can't hurt to ask. Once you have the facts then go with your gut feeling.

This about how many poor decisions a modern woman has to make to end up in an abusive relationship..... is that the person you want caring for your child in a city like DC?

[Anonymous]

Oh give it up. Some of the brilliant, educated, professional, working MBs have been - or still ARE - in an abusive relationship. It's clearly significantly more common than you're aware of.

[Anonymous]

Have her provide you the background check . That way she can explain to you .... I'm a nanny and I get my background check from the police department and gave it to my employer. It is online. Nanny or family can aply online. I would never trust online background check. Where are these companies getting the background check from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh give it up. Some of the brilliant, educated, professional, working MBs have been - or still ARE - in an abusive relationship. It's clearly significantly more common than you're aware of.

Exactly. PP you have no clue who is in an abusive relationship, or how they got there.

I would absolutely hire a woman who was well qualified, and had the strength to leave an abusive relationship.

There is a very good chance some of the parents on here have nannies in bad relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh give it up. Some of the brilliant, educated, professional, working MBs have been - or still ARE - in an abusive relationship. It's clearly significantly more common than you're aware of.

Exactly. PP you have no clue who is in an abusive relationship, or how they got there.

I would absolutely hire a woman who was well qualified, and had the strength to leave an abusive relationship.

There is a very good chance some of the parents on here have nannies in bad relationships.

Statistically between 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been the victims of intimate partner violence at some point in their life. Just because we don't talk about it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's just as likely that many of the parents on these boards are in abusive relationships as it is that a nanny is. Shame on the judgmental (and frankly terribly ignorant) PP. I hope she nor anyone she knows ever goes through this, though its likely they will.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what her reason is for battering someone. This person has a criminal record and a chaotic past. Pass and find a different candidate.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. Find someone without a criminal record to watch your kid.

[Anonymous]

No. Seriously, these are your children. A speeding change age 18 maybe, but anything more serious I wouldn't even consider for a second.

[Anonymous]

Just to put my 2 cents in about this.. My mom's first husband beat her daily and even broke her knee and a finger, not to mention the abuse to my brothers. When she got the courage to stand up for herself and defended her family she was slapped with 3 years of time, and this was over 25 years ago. Ask her about it, but stick with your gut feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to put my 2 cents in about this.. My mom's first husband beat her daily and even broke her knee and a finger, not to mention the abuse to my brothers. When she got the courage to stand up for herself and defended her family she was slapped with 3 years of time, and this was over 25 years ago. Ask her about it, but stick with your gut feeling.

Once again, 1) you should never attack anyone, if you "Get the courage" to fight back you have the courage to leave peacefully 2) no one wants to hire a woman to raise their children that dates abusers or can't figure out how to get out of a bad situation.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the families she worked for. Always call references.

[Anonymous]

A history of violence is never okay if u plan on leaving your young, helpless children alone with this person.