I don't want to keep in touch with former NF

[Anonymous]

Dude. A paragraph should be 3-4 sentences. You shouldn't need to see the wall of text to know you should put in paragraphs.

If you don't want to stay in touch with her, then stop responding to her texts. How are you not capable of figuring this out yourself? My 7th grade daughter knows how to ghost someone. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude. A paragraph should be 3-4 sentences. You shouldn't need to see the wall of text to know you should put in paragraphs.

If you don't want to stay in touch with her, then stop responding to her texts. How are you not capable of figuring this out yourself? My 7th grade daughter knows how to ghost someone. Grow up.

Ghosting someone is not mature and like I mentioned I get along with her mother. She texts me also and because we have yoga and clean living in common she sends me things concerning that. However she doesn't live in the state and has no idea how things really were. I loved the kids and was only responding because I liked getting the occasional update and pictures of them. She as also my reference for infant experience. Ugh just kiss my ass. Obviously I wanted to rant a little and ask for advice. I don't know nannies in real life so I though coming here other nannies may be able to relate. But instead it's a bunch of snarky responses from jerks about fucking paragraphs because they feel the need to got damn read something that they feel they may not be able to get through. You people are a trip

Thanks DUDE. Good luck

[Anonymous]

If you don't need this reference then stop replying to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
if you don't want unsolicited relationship advice, don't talk about your relationship.

She would ask me about my relationships. Even made it clear she wanted that to be her next occupation. always told me to not marry a short man. Date men at least 5 years older than me, etc etc I was in THIS woman's home and she would come around and talk and gossip whenever she didn't have a call.

And you chose to answer the questions. You blurred the boundaries by giving her personal information.

if you want to have sick days and guaranteed hours, you need to ask for it during the interview process.

Obviously and I attempted to renegotiate this later

Anytime you negotiate AFTER starting a job for benefits for that job, you are not going to be likely to get anything. There's a reason you should have a contract signed before you start working.

if you don't want to run errands, find a polite way o say it isn't part of your agreed upon job description.

Thats a LOT easier said than done, The provided the car I drove and a lot of these places were near my oldest charges school so she would throw it in last minute

It's not hard. "MB, sorry, but I'm supposed to be at the school in 10 minutes, and I only have 2 minutes to spare, so no, I don't have time to drop off your dry cleaning. Oh, you want me to do that tomorrow? Well, I'll see what the schedule looks like, but you'll be more likely to be able to do it yourself on the way into work tomorrow morning." (not child-related, not doing it if non-child errands is not part of the job description)

or

"MB, I would be glad to pick up DC's allergy medication on the way home from school today, but I don't see the money on the counter. We agreed that you would provide petty cash to cover incidentals, you don't want me to use my credit card (because I would need to keep the receipt), and I don't carry cash. If you want to have the money on the counter tomorrow morning, I can pick it up on the way home from drop off." (child-related errands are fine, as long as the money is handled per the contract)

if you don't want to text with her as often, then don't respond to her texts immediately.

I dont respond immediately but I was keepinging touch initially for pictures and updates on the boys and it started to turn into more

You blurred the lines. If you want just pictures and updates, you need to say that. If you want to also be invited for holidays and big events, you say that. If you want to be chummy, you need to put up with whatever she wants. Be a professional or don't, your choice.

Why did you bring the kids Easter baskets full of gifts? Completely unnecessary.

When you love kids and miss them that is something you do. Like I said I was close with them and the family

If you want to be invited to events, you will have more contact with MB, that's normal. If you don't want to be invited, cut down on contact.

It's your birthday weekend. Why did you agree to go visit with them?

It was her suggestion. Guess you're just a bitch right off of the bat when you get asked something without warning and don't have time to think through a response

If you can't remember that it's your birthday weekend and you will have plans, regardless of whether plans are scheduled yet or not, you have memory issues. If you did remember, but didn't say anything, you have backbone issues. Either way, you need to learn to say something like: "Gee, thanks for the invite, but that's my birthday that weekend, and I'll be busy. Can we plan on the weekend before or after?"

Be an adult. If you don't want to visit with them when she asks, tell her that day/weekend doesn't work for you.

Agreed. And there's no reason necessary, you just aren't available that weekend.

You complain about things like dishes and running errands, yet you say you like to stay busy and you decorated their Christmas tree. That's very contradictory.

I do like to stay busy. My work agreement said I would unload the DW and clean the kids dishes. yet she would leave dirty dishes in the way. If the baby would be sleeping I would just go ahead and move them. But most of the busy work that liked to do were things like arts and craft prep for my older charge and for when the baby got older

You blurred the boundaries, now you are complaining about it. If you were supposed to do kid-only housework, you shouldn't have done anything else. Or you should have asked if they wanted to pay you more to do extra tasks, and listed specifics like the dishes that had been left in the sink 4 days out of 5 the week before.

The my nanny/snobby comment sounds like it's all in your head. Same with her "jealousy" over you when her husband is in the room.

I am not exaggerating AT ALL. She would even say little things like "I don't need little tenderonies around my husband" but would make it sound like a joke. Or "Hmmm looks like y'all are having a good time over there." why would I make up something like that? to entertain you? And she was a very snobby person. It was only towards me in the beginning but then she would start saying things about the teachers at her son's older school and her neighbors. AGAIN why would I make this up?

What are tenderonies? What were you doing when she asked what you were doing, and why was the husband doing something with you? If she went from making comments about you to making comments about others as well... Well, she might be entitled, snobby or something else, but you're the one who is coming across as complaining.

I agree with the PP. You need paragraphs.
Thanks for letting me know. Now since you would like that tell me how to go back and edit the OP to have Paragraphs. Like I said before I was on a phone and didn't even realize the length

Copy the OP into Word (or something similar). Edit it. Copy it into the report function and ask Jeff to replace it with the edited version or respond with an edited version. Next time, wait until you aren't on your phone, or if you always post from your phone, figure out how to do paragraphs while on your phone.

Are you her? because you sure did take this personal. Thanks for the unnecessary ugliness.

Not sure if PP was MB, but I'm a nanny. Frankly, this is why many MBs think that nannies are unreasonable, unprofessional and/or gossips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. A paragraph should be 3-4 sentences. You shouldn't need to see the wall of text to know you should put in paragraphs.

If you don't want to stay in touch with her, then stop responding to her texts. How are you not capable of figuring this out yourself? My 7th grade daughter knows how to ghost someone. Grow up.

Ghosting someone is not mature and like I mentioned I get along with her mother. She texts me also and because we have yoga and clean living in common she sends me things concerning that. However she doesn't live in the state and has no idea how things really were. I loved the kids and was only responding because I liked getting the occasional update and pictures of them. She as also my reference for infant experience. Ugh just kiss my ass. Obviously I wanted to rant a little and ask for advice. I don't know nannies in real life so I though coming here other nannies may be able to relate. But instead it's a bunch of snarky responses from jerks about fucking paragraphs because they feel the need to got damn read something that they feel they may not be able to get through. You people are a trip

Thanks DUDE. Good luck

22.15 here. Much of what you have posted is not professional or particularly mature. Pot, meet kettle.

Delaying responses to texts and emails from past families is an easy way to slow down communication. If you send a quick text (mine is "I'm sorry, I'm very busy right now, I will get back to you in a few days) when you get the message, then respond in 2-4 days, it's not rude. They know that you aren't ignoring them, but you aren't required to respond to the message immediately.

[Anonymous]

Yep. This issue is 90% you. If she was horrible to you, you don't win a prize for sticking it out. In the future: plan ahead. Have duties clearly outlined in the contract. Don't volunteer for non-kid-related extras and then get huffy when they think you don't mind doing non-kid-related extras. Don't pal around with the family and then bitch that the mom is "jealous" of you. Think before you speak. If someone asks you a personal question at work, give a polite non-answer. In general: grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. A paragraph should be 3-4 sentences. You shouldn't need to see the wall of text to know you should put in paragraphs.

If you don't want to stay in touch with her, then stop responding to her texts. How are you not capable of figuring this out yourself? My 7th grade daughter knows how to ghost someone. Grow up.

Ghosting someone is not mature and like I mentioned I get along with her mother. She texts me also and because we have yoga and clean living in common she sends me things concerning that. However she doesn't live in the state and has no idea how things really were. I loved the kids and was only responding because I liked getting the occasional update and pictures of them. She as also my reference for infant experience. Ugh just kiss my ass. Obviously I wanted to rant a little and ask for advice. I don't know nannies in real life so I though coming here other nannies may be able to relate. But instead it's a bunch of snarky responses from jerks about fucking paragraphs because they feel the need to got damn read something that they feel they may not be able to get through. You people are a trip

Thanks DUDE. Good luck

You've been GIVEN advice. You know what your problem is? You think if people aren't flowery and supportive then they're not being helpful. You want everything served up just the way you want it, and if the delivery isn't what you want, you ignore what was delivered. You can't have what you want. You want to stay in touch to get updates and pictures yet your title line is "I don't want to keep in touch....", which contradicts what I bolded. Pick a lane, woman. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is impossible to read.

Sorry but I agree with this poster.

I agree as well. I stopped reading a quarter of the way in so I have no advice for you.