SO on overnight guest post: What am I missing re romantic sleepovers?
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
You sound like the same mom who started this thread and you saw the dissent then. Why bring it back?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/318686.page Again, to each their own. |
Anonymous
17:31 here and yes, I am that one. I didn't bring it back or raise the topic. Someone else did, and nearly everyone else presented the negative view in response, so I chimed in with my view just now. That's allowed, no? I signed my post above some version of "to each her own" too. |
Anonymous
That's pretty ridiculous. First and foremost banning opposite sex sleep overs is a case of safety. Au pairs are not entitled to treat the host family's house like a flop house just because part of their compensation is board. If they really are part of a family then like any family member they will be subject to certain expectations and restrictions for the greater good of the whole family. Just as, although my husband is an adult in his own house, he refrains from walking around in his boxers because it would be inappropriate around the ap |
Anonymous
How is banning opposite sex sleepovers a matter of safety? You can say no strangers in the name of safety, sure. You can ask that visitors be supervised, sure. Banning opposite sex sleepovers has nothing to do with safety. Do you and your husband refrain from having sex so as not to jeopardize the safety of comfort of your children/AP? You're pretty ridiculous. |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
| Did it ever occur to you that something could happen in the middle of the night of which you were completely unaware? Like a male "guest" sneaking into your child's room? Or even perhaps harming your family in some way? Again, just because your au pair trusts him does not mean you should. Pedophiles are evil, sneaky, and insidious. They will use very means possible to get to children and what better way then befriending an au pair. How has this not crossed your mind before? |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|
This whole post has officially become ridiculous. We have our own set of rules in our home, but labeling all males as potential pedophiles is crazy. How do you deal with cousins, nephews, uncles visiting? OR maybe brothers of your AP? I wonder if you even have children in school... Do you trust teachers? Coaches? Life is scary, but banning all contact with makes might just very well bring your children other issues later in life...
In response with a previous poster with male AP and male kids (and she is perhaps the OP?), I think gender might have something to do with your decision. I have female APs and 3DDs, but I see my friends and siblings who are raising boys and the standard for what is acceptable in their eyes is substantially different. I find that moms of boys in general are much more lenient with their sons' behaviors (have sex with multiple partners? one night stands? smoking weed? Unruly behaviors?), almost as if they were acceptable, normal, and in some cases even 'cute'. I see many of these boys being excused for behaviors that would not be acceptable for girls. |
Anonymous
Holy shit, I would smack the black off their asses if they were doing drugs or acting like hood rats. They know this well. I do not find sex shameful, so yes, I'm fine with responsible sex. One night stands? No, that is not responsible. I will tell you though that your sweet innocent little girls are not so much. I've had to turn a few 13yr upper middle class white girls into the school (and their parents) for sending my boys nude texts. A bunch of skanky hussies you all are raising! |
Anonymous
17:31 here. I agree completely with the first paragraph in your post. The PP who doesn't allow her children to go on sleepovers is setting her children up for major issues later on, both in terms of anxiety and in terms of rebellion. To the second paragraph, we have hosted male APs for four years, after six years of hosting females, and we have a DD and a DS. Gender has nothing to do with my expectations or rules. I would not allow my male AP to bring home serial girlfriends anymore than I would have allowed our female APs to bring home serial boyfriends. The female AP who was in a longterm, committed, monogamous relationship had her boyfriend spend two weeks with us, sleeping in her room, and the two male APs who were/are in longterm, committed, monogamous relationships had/have their girlfriends stay over a lot. These are particular circumstances with particular people -- we love our AP, love his girlfriend, know them both well, and trust them both implicitly. I would not allow this for a male AP who was a less responsible person or for the same AP in a less committed relationship. My decisions regarding my APs and their sleepovers have zero to do with my children's genders. I think it's kind of bizarre to assume this is the case, but again, I think it's even more bizarre to assume that all males are potential pedophiles, as the PP does, and I know others think it's bizarre that my AP is allowed to have his best friend share his room, so we can all just agree that we think the others are bizarre. 
|
Anonymous
I host a male AP and I'm not so sure who you hang out with, but none of my fiends find drug use acceptable. Maybe we just choose to associate with different friends and have wildly different families. My brother is in the FBI and would flip his shit if his boys were not in line. I used to host females and I'd say the promiscuity was much more so with the women than the guy ( and he is super cute!). Out last AP was always on Tinder and had to make a rule of no strange men and we absolutely allow sleepovers, just not randoms. Her best AP friend also had a ton of one night stands from Tinder. Times have changed and there is absolutely no difference between the sexual agressive between girls and guys. With our male AP, thry are all over him, he can't get a break and jokes about the "crazy Brazilians". |