Uncomfortable situation this morning.. (vent) (long)

[Anonymous]

Tidy kitchen does not mean clean filthy kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are in school and your job is to manage the house. Stop complaining. And, it makes no sense you toast a bagel for lunch. Yuck. You have how many hours when the kids are in school to clean up... where is the problem?

Oh wow (OP here)
No, I work a split shift. I leave when the kids leave for school and come back when the younger one gets home.
So no, I'm not there during the day. 2 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon + one overnight a week.
The reason why I toast the bagel is because that's how the teen wants it - toasted bagel with jelly. He is allergic to dairy and nuts among other things. We don't have a lot of options as far as lunch (he won't eat anything warm or any deli meat). At the beginning I was told he ate a bagel with jelly and I didn't know it was supposed to be toasted, so I didn't. He told me a few weeks into my job and I felt so bad. He is not a complainer so he ate what I gave him, but he prefers toasted.
So please don't judge me, because I'm only doing what he prefers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need a nanny for a teen and preteen?

OP here.
Thank you guys for your responses.

As far as the question above - it's mostly for driving to after school activities, cooking dinner for the kids, supervise homework, etc.
I make lunches in the morning and sometimes breakfast. I don't make breakfast every day, but sometimes I make eggs, hash browns, croissants, etc. Other days they will heat up/toast whatever they want from the fridge/freezer.
Also I empty the dishwasher and start laundry/put in the dryer before I leave. When I come back in the afternoon, I fold the clothes and put on top of the dryer for the kids to take upstairs and put away.
The younger child gets sick a lot and on those days I stay home with her (I'm paid extra for that)

And as one of the previous poster said above, the kids were not raised to clean up after themselves.

The parent choose to hire you instead of having the kids clean up after themselves. It is not a value the parents care about. Not your place to decide they should do your job and clean if it is not the parents expectation. Your job is to maintain the house. Stop complaining and do it or find another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are in school and your job is to manage the house. Stop complaining. And, it makes no sense you toast a bagel for lunch. Yuck. You have how many hours when the kids are in school to clean up... where is the problem?

OP works mornings and afternoons, split shift. She's only working full days (for extra pay) if a child is home from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need a nanny for a teen and preteen?

OP here.
Thank you guys for your responses.

As far as the question above - it's mostly for driving to after school activities, cooking dinner for the kids, supervise homework, etc.
I make lunches in the morning and sometimes breakfast. I don't make breakfast every day, but sometimes I make eggs, hash browns, croissants, etc. Other days they will heat up/toast whatever they want from the fridge/freezer.
Also I empty the dishwasher and start laundry/put in the dryer before I leave. When I come back in the afternoon, I fold the clothes and put on top of the dryer for the kids to take upstairs and put away.
The younger child gets sick a lot and on those days I stay home with her (I'm paid extra for that)

And as one of the previous poster said above, the kids were not raised to clean up after themselves.

The parent choose to hire you instead of having the kids clean up after themselves. It is not a value the parents care about. Not your place to decide they should do your job and clean if it is not the parents expectation. Your job is to maintain the house. Stop complaining and do it or find another job.

First, OP's contract states one load in the dishwasher. Second, OP's unable to do her job in the morning without making the older charge late because the kitchen is unusable until after she cleans it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are in school and your job is to manage the house. Stop complaining. And, it makes no sense you toast a bagel for lunch. Yuck. You have how many hours when the kids are in school to clean up... where is the problem?

OP works mornings and afternoons, split shift. She's only working full days (for extra pay) if a child is home from school.

People will find literally anything to criticize, even a f***ing bagel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need a nanny for a teen and preteen?

OP here.
Thank you guys for your responses.

As far as the question above - it's mostly for driving to after school activities, cooking dinner for the kids, supervise homework, etc.
I make lunches in the morning and sometimes breakfast. I don't make breakfast every day, but sometimes I make eggs, hash browns, croissants, etc. Other days they will heat up/toast whatever they want from the fridge/freezer.
Also I empty the dishwasher and start laundry/put in the dryer before I leave. When I come back in the afternoon, I fold the clothes and put on top of the dryer for the kids to take upstairs and put away.
The younger child gets sick a lot and on those days I stay home with her (I'm paid extra for that)

And as one of the previous poster said above, the kids were not raised to clean up after themselves.

The parent choose to hire you instead of having the kids clean up after themselves. It is not a value the parents care about. Not your place to decide they should do your job and clean if it is not the parents expectation. Your job is to maintain the house. Stop complaining and do it or find another job.

First, OP's contract states one load in the dishwasher. Second, OP's unable to do her job in the morning without making the older charge late because the kitchen is unusable until after she cleans it up.

I am assuming you are OP. Simple solution. Find a child care only position with a family with a full-time housekeeper. Her job is to clean up. She does not want to. Find a new job. Simple.

[Anonymous]

The thing that stood out for me from your post is that you have been with this family 2 1/2 years, and the children are older. In my opinion, as a nanny I feel I have a responsibility to guide my charges into being productive, contributing members of society. Which means teaching them to clean up after themselves, understanding that everyone pitches in, and respecting others.

It sounds like this mom wants to raise her kids to be users.

That would not sit well with me. At all.

The clutter would drive me nuts also, but the mom encouraging the kids to be disrespectful entitled users would be a deal breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that stood out for me from your post is that you have been with this family 2 1/2 years, and the children are older. In my opinion, as a nanny I feel I have a responsibility to guide my charges into being productive, contributing members of society. Which means teaching them to clean up after themselves, understanding that everyone pitches in, and respecting others.

It sounds like this mom wants to raise her kids to be users.

That would not sit well with me. At all.

The clutter would drive me nuts also, but the mom encouraging the kids to be disrespectful entitled users would be a deal breaker for me.

OP here.
I agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that stood out for me from your post is that you have been with this family 2 1/2 years, and the children are older. In my opinion, as a nanny I feel I have a responsibility to guide my charges into being productive, contributing members of society. Which means teaching them to clean up after themselves, understanding that everyone pitches in, and respecting others.

It sounds like this mom wants to raise her kids to be users.

That would not sit well with me. At all.

The clutter would drive me nuts also, but the mom encouraging the kids to be disrespectful entitled users would be a deal breaker for me.

Mom isn't raising kids to be users. It is their home and they are paying for OP to preform services, which include cleaning up after the kids. Using her would be having her come without pay. She is constantly complaining about her job so simple solution, find a new one. She is a household employee there to make the families life easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing that stood out for me from your post is that you have been with this family 2 1/2 years, and the children are older. In my opinion, as a nanny I feel I have a responsibility to guide my charges into being productive, contributing members of society. Which means teaching them to clean up after themselves, understanding that everyone pitches in, and respecting others.

It sounds like this mom wants to raise her kids to be users.

That would not sit well with me. At all.

The clutter would drive me nuts also, but the mom encouraging the kids to be disrespectful entitled users would be a deal breaker for me.

Mom isn't raising kids to be users. It is their home and they are paying for OP to preform services, which include cleaning up after the kids. Using her would be having her come without pay. She is constantly complaining about her job so simple solution, find a new one. She is a household employee there to make the families life easier.

The parents may not be using her (that's debatable since they've exaggerated and exploited her duties) but they are raising their kids to not take responsibility for themselves. They're showing them that they can expect other people to pick up their slack. They WILL grow up to be users if the parents don't change course, but that's not OPs concern, you're right. She's no longer happy with the job, and should find a new one.

[Anonymous]

Where your contract says to tidy the kitchen, I would take that to mean from the mess you make while getting the kids ready for the day. NOT to clean up after the entire family from the evening or weekend before.

I would suggest you stop the stupidity now. Sit the family down and tell them that if the kitchen in unusable, you won't be able to make make breakfast and lunch. You won't be cleaning up their mess from the night before. Outline your understanding of the contract, and it's wording.

I would need to be able to do "my" job when I got there in the morning. The disaster you describe would be a deal breaker.

I cannot imagine leaving that for someone else to do.

[Anonymous]

MB here. OP makes my nanny look lazy. I'd love to have someone who could do what you do in 2 hours in the morning. I think the family needs to step up and clean the kitchen before they go to bed. I do it every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. OP makes my nanny look lazy. I'd love to have someone who could do what you do in 2 hours in the morning. I think the family needs to step up and clean the kitchen before they go to bed. I do it every night.

OP here.
Thank you.
Yes, most people do. I've been a nanny for 16 years and I've never seen anything close to this. And as I said, I don't mind a dish here and there or whatever, but the amount of crap that gets left all over the kitchen is unbelievable. Sometimes there are 5+ grocery bags full of groceries on top of that + on the floor.
I worked overnight last night and it was so nice - we came from an after school activity, had dinner, cleaned up (both kids know exactly what I expect them to do - put dishes in the dishwasher, make sure their homework for next day is in their backpacks, spray and wipe countertops/table, take clean clothes from the laundry room and their random things that ended up in the kitchen, dogs outside and then crates).. we all do it at the same time. Everyone contributes. I keep telling them it's part of being a family, whether I'm there or their mom - we all eat, we clean up and help each other.

We're going to have a surprise b/day party for my boss, so we worked on some details after everything was done.

Everyone was showered and in bed on time. And I knew I would have a clean kitchen in the morning.
I wish I worked overnights every day

[Anonymous]

Find a new job. I would.