Our nanny got married and didn't tell us!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- I think it will be way more awkward not to mention you know. I assume she had her wedding all set when she took the job (fits w/ knowing about the vacation in advance) and was afraid you'd think she'd quit post-wedding if she mentioned it. Then it became too awkward to bring up after she'd been with you awhile. She may even be dreading the awkwardness of her return and/or wondering if you saw the announcement in the paper.

If I were you, I would greet her when she returns from vacation with a "congratulations, I saw in the paper...!" and a small gift. Make it clear you're happy for her and not offended or worried; I bet that will make things way less awkward for everyone going forward.

This is very true. I didn't think of it this way. I think this is the route we will take and give her something nice but not over do it. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is none of your effing business, Mrs. Snoop. Your only concern with her is that she does the job she was hired to do. Her personal life is off limits so mind your own business, not hers.

In the future, her nanny should remember that if she doesn't want her employer to know something about her personal life, then she shouldn't put an announcement about it in the paper.

Ignore the troll.

[Anonymous]

OP, I also think it's odd that she didn't tell you but I would respect her privacy and not bring it up unless she does. I do ask all my household employees for an emergency contact in case something happens while they are working for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- I think it will be way more awkward not to mention you know. I assume she had her wedding all set when she took the job (fits w/ knowing about the vacation in advance) and was afraid you'd think she'd quit post-wedding if she mentioned it. Then it became too awkward to bring up after she'd been with you awhile. She may even be dreading the awkwardness of her return and/or wondering if you saw the announcement in the paper.

If I were you, I would greet her when she returns from vacation with a "congratulations, I saw in the paper...!" and a small gift. Make it clear you're happy for her and not offended or worried; I bet that will make things way less awkward for everyone going forward.

Don't do this. It will embarrass her.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like she is deliberately hiding this from you, despite the newspaper announcement. Why else would she lie about the ring and move it from left hand to right? She doesn't want you involved in her private life, not even to the point of knowing she is married. Just let sleeping dogs lie. This is a job to her and you need to keep it professional.

[Anonymous]

Good day OP, I am leaning towards your nanny being concerned about the potential impact on her employment and not wanting to bring it up being a new employee, then perhaps not knowing how or when thereafter. I think mentioning in it to her in a positive way is a good idea. Hopefully she brings it up to you when she returns so you may not need to initiate that conversation. Either way, you sound like you like and care about her so go with your gut feeling and hope all goes well.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Once again, OP, IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! If she wanted you to know. She would have told you. She does not have to share any part of her personal life with you. Let it go. If She wants to tell you, she will. Respect her privacy!

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine not telling my nanny family I'm getting married. But my nanny family attended. my wedding, along with the 2other families I did weekly babysitting for so clearly I feel differently than your nanny. As for what you should do, I would get her a card with a gift card or cash and tell her you saw the paper and congratulations. Don't make it awkward for her by asking a bunch of questions but a congratulations is definitely in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine not telling my nanny family I'm getting married. But my nanny family attended. my wedding, along with the 2other families I did weekly babysitting for so clearly I feel differently than your nanny. As for what you should do, I would get her a card with a gift card or cash and tell her you saw the paper and congratulations. Don't make it awkward for her by asking a bunch of questions but a congratulations is definitely in order.

That's you. Don't assume everyone is like you.

[Anonymous]

OP, what happened? Did you tell her? How did she react?
Please come back with an update.