Have been planning to terminate nanny, and now she has big news

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP from the threads about the nanny arriving late, the nanny who wasn't doing the laundry, etc? Right?

Yep. She's been a problem on several different fronts.

Why did you not get rid of her earlier, when we suggested that, several times? If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP from the threads about the nanny arriving late, the nanny who wasn't doing the laundry, etc? Right?

Yep. She's been a problem on several different fronts.

Why did you not get rid of her earlier, when we suggested that, several times? If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.

I posted an ad almost a month ago. I have intentionally taken a while to find the right candidate - someone who is a good fit with the kids, has the right attitude, and is interested in the job we are offering. I did not want to end up with another "seems fine but doesn't really want to be here" nanny.

[Anonymous]

Damn shame your boss couldn't fire you when you were pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn shame your boss couldn't fire you when you were pregnant.

If I had a bad attitude, failed to do my job, and made the workplace uncomfortable for my coworkers, my boss would have been well within rights to do so. And I would have deserved it. Pregnancy is not a free pass. The timing is unfortunate for her, but the pregnancy has nothing to do with the decision to terminate her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP from the threads about the nanny arriving late, the nanny who wasn't doing the laundry, etc? Right?

Yep. She's been a problem on several different fronts.

Why did you not get rid of her earlier, when we suggested that, several times? If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.

I posted an ad almost a month ago. I have intentionally taken a while to find the right candidate - someone who is a good fit with the kids, has the right attitude, and is interested in the job we are offering. I did not want to end up with another "seems fine but doesn't really want to be here" nanny.

But you didn't give notice then? I'm not understanding why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP from the threads about the nanny arriving late, the nanny who wasn't doing the laundry, etc? Right?

Yep. She's been a problem on several different fronts.

Why did you not get rid of her earlier, when we suggested that, several times? If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.

I posted an ad almost a month ago. I have intentionally taken a while to find the right candidate - someone who is a good fit with the kids, has the right attitude, and is interested in the job we are offering. I did not want to end up with another "seems fine but doesn't really want to be here" nanny.

But you didn't give notice then? I'm not understanding why.

Conventional wisdom around here seems to be to wait until a replacement is found, then give notice and severance at that time, especially when replacing someone. If it were a matter of the kids no longer needing nanny care (like everyone going to school in the fall) or we were relocating, I would feel comfortable giving notice well in advance. But giving notice of "we are going to terminate you and replace you with someone more suitable for the job" doesn't seem like a message that will be well received and I wouldn't be comfortable with her continuing to care for my kids after that. Most likely she wouldn't return the next day, but if she did, I can't imagine she'd be a great caregiver while waiting for the axe to fall.

[Anonymous]

You're evil, 7:58. Good that most people aren't like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP from the threads about the nanny arriving late, the nanny who wasn't doing the laundry, etc? Right?

Yep. She's been a problem on several different fronts.

Why did you not get rid of her earlier, when we suggested that, several times? If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.

I posted an ad almost a month ago. I have intentionally taken a while to find the right candidate - someone who is a good fit with the kids, has the right attitude, and is interested in the job we are offering. I did not want to end up with another "seems fine but doesn't really want to be here" nanny.

But you didn't give notice then? I'm not understanding why.

Conventional wisdom around here seems to be to wait until a replacement is found, then give notice and severance at that time, especially when replacing someone. If it were a matter of the kids no longer needing nanny care (like everyone going to school in the fall) or we were relocating, I would feel comfortable giving notice well in advance. But giving notice of "we are going to terminate you and replace you with someone more suitable for the job" doesn't seem like a message that will be well received and I wouldn't be comfortable with her continuing to care for my kids after that. Most likely she wouldn't return the next day, but if she did, I can't imagine she'd be a great caregiver while waiting for the axe to fall.

So you dealt with subpar performance since then, were blindsided with her announcement that she's pregnant, then came on her for validation yet again. OP, this is crap. If your nanny was terrible, you would have fired her then, arranged for temporary care (multiple parents have done so before you!), and done a thorough, but quick job of finding someone else. According to you, you can't give notice until you have someone else, but now the nanny told you she's pregnant, and you haven't given notice, and you have a nanny waiting in the wings; how do you expect either of your nannies (current and next) to read your mind? Do you really think that the new nanny is going to trust you if she finds out you treated your current nanny this way? Sorry, but this and your other threads are so far beyond what is acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Okay PP. I get it. You think I'm horrible.

I didn't want to put my kids through a cycle of temp nannies. I was willing to bide my time with a subpar nanny while I found a new one. If I had terminated her a month ago, she would have been pregnant then too, I just wouldn't have known.

Current nanny told me yesterday that she's pregnant. Giving her notice by end of week seems reasonable to me. I don't think I am doing her harm by waiting three days. Her announcement gave me pause and I needed to think about how to handle it. I can't imagine having responded with "congratulations, and by they way you're fired." What a crappy memory to have associated with sharing pregnancy news. I will give her notice and be fair, but I won't put her needs ahead of my children.

[Anonymous]

OP, based on your description of her behavior up to now, I wouldn't give her notice. Do you really want someone who has treated your children and the job with such disregard to continue being with your children and in your house for a week or two after you tell her you are replacing her? Can the new nanny start Monday? If so, tell your current nanny on Friday when you get home from work, ask her for the keys, and give her what you owe her in pay for that period plus two weeks or so of severance.

[Anonymous]

^^Sorry, OP. Missed your earlier post that you intended on doing this.

[Anonymous]

Aw well....Such is reality. You snooze you lose....

She has not been performing her duties very well plus she has attitude issues, etc.
She had a chance to do well, but she sounds like she did less than the bare minimum and that's her bad.

You need to put your children's happiness over hers. Bar none.

I'm sorry for her situation and all but she blew her chances already.

This is how real life operates.

[Anonymous]

My nanny starting talking harshly to my 11 month old DS and that was in my presence. She preferred girls and was irritated because her MIL no longer could watch her DS and she had to pay for childcare. We gave her notice the next week and two weeks severance. Do not accept subpar childcare and a bad attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nanny starting talking harshly to my 11 month old DS and that was in my presence. She preferred girls and was irritated because her MIL no longer could watch her DS and she had to pay for childcare. We gave her notice the next week and two weeks severance. Do not accept subpar childcare and a bad attitude.

Correction: her DD

[Anonymous]

How'd it go op?