Need around the clock help

[Anonymous]

Don't increase your commute!
Put the baby in your room for the first 6 months, then worry about space.

[Anonymous]

3 kids? You can do it! Don't underestimate yourself. Also, Double kids up- you can make it work Keep in mind- longer commute is less time with your kids, which means cramming as much "quality" time into a smaller time frame, which will compound your stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you get a PT job, OP? Your children need you at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

.... In addition to the all day care she already has.

And sorry, people are jumping on her because she sounds spoiled. Weekly sitter? Sure. Every evening and all weekend? That's excessive, even if DH isn't around. When is she going to actually see her kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

.... In addition to the all day care she already has.

And sorry, people are jumping on her because she sounds spoiled. Weekly sitter? Sure. Every evening and all weekend? That's excessive, even if DH isn't around. When is she going to actually see her kids?

It sounds like OP wants a nanny during the nanny, mother's helper for nights/weekends. If she hires one person, that person needs to be able to shift mentalities when OP gets home. It would probably be better to hire two people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

.... In addition to the all day care she already has.

And sorry, people are jumping on her because she sounds spoiled. Weekly sitter? Sure. Every evening and all weekend? That's excessive, even if DH isn't around. When is she going to actually see her kids?

Who cares if you think she is spoiled? I don't think she asked for anyone's opinion on whether she "ought" to be able to do it. Perhaps she isn't interested in the amount of stress you "think" she should be taking on. Whether it's excessive or not, it's her business, not anyone else's. It's not your business when she's going to "actually" see her kids. The woman needs help, she ought to be able to go out and buy some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

Sure! She can. She's already been told she will need multiple people. But, don't come to a public forum asking for advice and expect people not to point out the obvious or find you annoying as hell.

.... In addition to the all day care she already has.

And sorry, people are jumping on her because she sounds spoiled. Weekly sitter? Sure. Every evening and all weekend? That's excessive, even if DH isn't around. When is she going to actually see her kids?

Who cares if you think she is spoiled? I don't think she asked for anyone's opinion on whether she "ought" to be able to do it. Perhaps she isn't interested in the amount of stress you "think" she should be taking on. Whether it's excessive or not, it's her business, not anyone else's. It's not your business when she's going to "actually" see her kids. The woman needs help, she ought to be able to go out and buy some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

.... In addition to the all day care she already has.

And sorry, people are jumping on her because she sounds spoiled. Weekly sitter? Sure. Every evening and all weekend? That's excessive, even if DH isn't around. When is she going to actually see her kids?

Who cares if you think she is spoiled? I don't think she asked for anyone's opinion on whether she "ought" to be able to do it. Perhaps she isn't interested in the amount of stress you "think" she should be taking on. Whether it's excessive or not, it's her business, not anyone else's. It's not your business when she's going to "actually" see her kids. The woman needs help, she ought to be able to go out and buy some.

She obviously lacks a lot of common sense if, in addition to being unable to care for her kids, she can't figure out how many caregivers she will need.

And it wasn't my business, or anyone else's, until she made it that way by posting. Sorry, zero fucks to give in the sympathy department.

[Anonymous]

I have four young children. The oldest is 5. When my husband deployed, the baby was 6 months. I hired two mother's helpers to help at either end of the day, and I hired a high school girl to act as a mother's helper on the weekend. I asked the mother's helpers to do more housekeeping than child care so that I could free up time to spend with the kids, or I took them with me to be an extra set of hands.

They also watched one or more children while I was doing something like nursing or putting someone to bed.

This was beyond expensive, but that's what I did. It turned out to be invaluable when (twice) I had to take a child to the hospital, and I had several people I could call who knew the kids and our routines.

I don't anticipate needing this much help next time, since the baby will be on the same schedule as everyone else within another year, and the older ones will be more self-sufficient.

[Anonymous]

I've been in your shoes. My kids are 2 years apart and when my youngest was born, to have a newly turned 2 and 4 year old it was exhausting to say the least. We actually lived overseas and had no family or friends nearby for help. The help that I had was both my older two were in a preschool on most days and that was a common thing where we lived.

Evenings are really exhausting with an infant, 2, 4 year old. Everyone is hungry, tired and needs a bath or diaper change, etc. And mommy is tired at the end of the day too and patience is low. If I had to do it over again I would look for help to get me thru 4-8 pm while my infant was under 6 months or at min hire help to cook so you don't have to think about that.

I would not want to increase my commute time, this would be my last resort. I would bunk the kids up and no 4 years old is not too young to sleep on the stop but I guess every kid is different. Hang in there, things will get crazy but it will all even out. Congrats on your upcoming arrival.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks to the people who understood where I was coming from! It's not that I want to give the new baby up for adoption, it's just that I may need an extra set of hands with 3 young children. I definitely don't want to change my job, but to consider bunking up and making do in a small space for the time being, and not having a commute, is a good idea.

OP, people have WAY more children than this with no help.

Who cares about other people? OP, ignore all the idiots who are trying to shame you. It doesn't matter that other people have more children with less. OP is who she is, she knows her needs and she wants help. There's nothing wrong with that! I hate this particularly American sense of needless heroism. Most of the world takes it as gospel that mothers need help, especially working mothers. OP, I hope you find what you're looking for, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Ok, but if you truly need 24/7 help for 3 kids, you've overextended yourself in some way. Either in too much work or too many kids, but something.

She said she needs evening and weekend help. If her DH isn't around then she may - I know I would. Just because people can get by with less quality time and no self care doesn't mean that anyone should if they can afford not to.

.... In addition to the all day care she already has.

And sorry, people are jumping on her because she sounds spoiled. Weekly sitter? Sure. Every evening and all weekend? That's excessive, even if DH isn't around. When is she going to actually see her kids?

But she's going to be with the kids during that- Needs an extra pair of hands so the kids each get enough attention. Wtf are you talking about? She will see them all the time.