Trash can as a gift?

[Anonymous]

You apparently think of yourself as an equal to DH. Right hand man- you said? You are not and calling you out on that has hit a nerve. They aren't expecting a gift from you at all. What mb would? Use your bonus and salary to pay for a nice holiday with your own family. Obviously no one wants a crappy gift basket. So I just don't believe that is your actual concern. Spend 50$ on a trash can and don't give it another thought. If you have to agonize and seek public opinion...maybe not the best idea for a gift then.

How do you even know the one they want? Our simple human tc cost 249 on sale at the container store. I wouldn't be happy if our nanny got us a $50 one. BC I would feel obligated to use it when I normally wouldn't buy that one.

Just flat out ask if you can pick one up next time she complains about germs. And ask what model.

For someone so condescending I'm surprised you take honesty as being bitchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You apparently think of yourself as an equal to DH. Right hand man- you said? You are not and calling you out on that has hit a nerve. They aren't expecting a gift from you at all. What mb would? Use your bonus and salary to pay for a nice holiday with your own family. Obviously no one wants a crappy gift basket. So I just don't believe that is your actual concern. Spend 50$ on a trash can and don't give it another thought. If you have to agonize and seek public opinion...maybe not the best idea for a gift then.

How do you even know the one they want? Our simple human tc cost 249 on sale at the container store. I wouldn't be happy if our nanny got us a $50 one. BC I would feel obligated to use it when I normally wouldn't buy that one.

Just flat out ask if you can pick one up next time she complains about germs. And ask what model.

For someone so condescending I'm surprised you take honesty as being bitchy.

first of all let me make myself perfectly clear here. My mb does not view her husband as simply being her right hand man so how you would think that I think I'm equal to him is beyond me. I made that point to give background about how much she has on her plate. The kids are in school during the day so I make myself useful and do a number of things, that's why I said I'm like her right hand. Sometimes it's things that don't concern the kids and I don't mind.

Yes I think honesty is bitchy if it contains an unnecessary curse word. How else was that supposed to be taken? Not sure if you're the mb that cursed at me it not but that person was the first one to be condescending to the other mb that responded.

[Anonymous]

And also 13:36 what is it that you believe to be my actual concern? This is not unsolved mysteries. I really just wanted simple input about replacing their BROKEN trash can that gets used a lot. Good grief!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well sounds like you don't really want any advice or input as you've already made up your mind. Go ahead get the trash can. And here are the Pats on the head you think you deserve for being nanny of the year.

Christ. Why ask shit like this only to defend yourself to every single piece of advice.

Ugh so nasty for no reason.

Op I'm not a mb but I would get this for my family if I knew they needed it. A couple of years ago I got my mb a juicer when the motor on hers burned out. She's very healthy but it was just one of those things she hadn't had time to get to yet. She was extremely grateful!

Thanks! This is how I was looking at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think you sound like you know this family well enough to know if the mom would appreciate you replacing this.

I actually would (since it sounds like you'd know how to replace it with one they'd like.) Assuming you're still getting a stainless one I think it's a great idea.

I don't expect our nanny to get gifts for us, and I'm a little uncomfortable when she inevitably does, but this kind of gift I would love and appreciate. I'd MUCH rather have you replace something you know I like and that the whole family will use, than buy me something more personal.

I think it sounds great OP.

Thank you I think you understood what my dilemma was. I'd hate to spend money on a candle or body wash and see it never get used.

Yep, I get it. And I think your MB will also. And I happen to like kick open stainless trash cans and would appreciate the thought and attention behind that gift much more than body wash! And I think you and I would get along (and be mutually horrified at much of what goes on here on DCUM!)

Merry Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not your place to do this. If you were her personal assistant you would use her credit card to order one. But you're not plus you're talking about using your own money. No.

People tend to use their own money when buying gifts lol thanks for responding

Intelligent people tend to avoid run-on sentences. It's NOT your place to do this. Gifts go DOWN, not UP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think you sound like you know this family well enough to know if the mom would appreciate you replacing this.

I actually would (since it sounds like you'd know how to replace it with one they'd like.) Assuming you're still getting a stainless one I think it's a great idea.

I don't expect our nanny to get gifts for us, and I'm a little uncomfortable when she inevitably does, but this kind of gift I would love and appreciate. I'd MUCH rather have you replace something you know I like and that the whole family will use, than buy me something more personal.

I think it sounds great OP.

Thank you I think you understood what my dilemma was. I'd hate to spend money on a candle or body wash and see it never get used.

Yep, I get it. And I think your MB will also. And I happen to like kick open stainless trash cans and would appreciate the thought and attention behind that gift much more than body wash! And I think you and I would get along (and be mutually horrified at much of what goes on here on DCUM!)

Merry Christmas!

Thank you I really appreciate your thoughtful responses! You have to have tough skin to deal with the trolls on this forum. Merry Christmas to you and yours!!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. I would maybe send her a link and suggest she buy one, and that's all you can do. A trash can is a terrible gift, and especially coming from a nanny. You need to start learning how to navigate the nanny-family relationship because it sounds like you think way too much of your role within the family right now.

[Anonymous]

It's a terrible gift idea, OP.

Offer to pick her up a new one someday when you're going out, she will appreciate the errand and will be able to tell you which one she wants.

Give her something small and pampering, like a Lush Bath Bomb or some nice tea, if you want to get her a personal gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do it. I would maybe send her a link and suggest she buy one, and that's all you can do. A trash can is a terrible gift, and especially coming from a nanny. You need to start learning how to navigate the nanny-family relationship because it sounds like you think way too much of your role within the family right now.

Wholeheartedly agree with the last sentence.

[Anonymous]

Just wait until she realizes she isn't "family", and as soon as they don't need her services anymore she will be erased from their lives along with the trashcan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wait until she realizes she isn't "family", and as soon as they don't need her services anymore she will be erased from their lives along with the trashcan.

You sound really bitter. Sorry someone hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Another MB here that would love your gift, OP. I have a bunch of items like that I just can't get around to replacing and if you did that as a gift for me I really would appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a terrible gift idea, OP.

Offer to pick her up a new one someday when you're going out, she will appreciate the errand and will be able to tell you which one she wants.

Give her something small and pampering, like a Lush Bath Bomb or some nice tea, if you want to get her a personal gift.

This is exactly what many people would hate. Unless you know exactly what fragrance to get someone, it's better not to do toiletries. Well, if you're okay with the toiletries being put in the guest bathroom, I guess it could work...

[Anonymous]

If you have a good relationship I think this is super cute and sweet! The oddity of it just makes it cuter. As an MB I know this is the sort of thing that annoys me at the time (eg, when I am throwing away trash), but I don't have the mental space to deal with later. you taking care of this sends the message that you know what the real challenges are and are there to help.