I Have a Question....

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised she noticed immediately. Just because you can check and confirm the Netflix account doesn't mean she would be checking every day - or at least I wouldn't be.

But now you know she really does want it kept to one 30 min show or 2 20 min ones.

[Anonymous]

I've had a nanny cam and the same nanny for over three years. We trust her as much as we can trust anyone with our kid but about once a month or so, DH or I look at the nanny cam.

It's smart to bring an issue up while it's a small one, before it balloons into a big issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe you're peeved at the parents for this. You clearly went over the allotted TV time, and the parent found out. Why is the parent in the wrong here?

Because she has faithfully followed this rule for the duration of her employment with only one exception. Most nannies expect a fair bit of "checking up," such as looking at the netflix history daily, when they are new to a job, but once you have worked with them for a while, one would expect them to trust you to some extent as tou have proven what kind of person and what kind of nanny you are. So from the nanny's perspective, this series of events shows that a) they are still regularly checking the netflix history to track the amount of tv and b) the first and only time she disobeyed this rule they felt the need to bring it up, instead of viewing it within the context of her history of adherance. It shows a lack of good faith on their part. Yes, she made a mistake, but watching slightly too much tv is a very small mistake. If there is no allowance for even that level of mistake as a one-off, then there is no understanding that nanny is a human being with understandable imperfections and no appreciation for the times when she overlooks their inevitable flaws or times when she goes above and beyond. In a healthy nanny/family relationship, they would not be tracking daily, but would maybe still do spot checks on things like tv time, and if they noticed a trend towards more tv over a period of a few weeks, THEN they would bring it up.

OP Here:

I couldn't have articulated this better!

I am not angry at my bosses, just a little caught off guard as this was a truly honest mistake on my part.

And trust me, I hardly make mistakes on the clock.

And the one time I did, it got noticed immediately.

To err is to be human.

Not everyone understands this, like employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe you're peeved at the parents for this. You clearly went over the allotted TV time, and the parent found out. Why is the parent in the wrong here?

Because she has faithfully followed this rule for the duration of her employment with only one exception. Most nannies expect a fair bit of "checking up," such as looking at the netflix history daily, when they are new to a job, but once you have worked with them for a while, one would expect them to trust you to some extent as tou have proven what kind of person and what kind of nanny you are. So from the nanny's perspective, this series of events shows that a) they are still regularly checking the netflix history to track the amount of tv and b) the first and only time she disobeyed this rule they felt the need to bring it up, instead of viewing it within the context of her history of adherance. It shows a lack of good faith on their part. Yes, she made a mistake, but watching slightly too much tv is a very small mistake. If there is no allowance for even that level of mistake as a one-off, then there is no understanding that nanny is a human being with understandable imperfections and no appreciation for the times when she overlooks their inevitable flaws or times when she goes above and beyond. In a healthy nanny/family relationship, they would not be tracking daily, but would maybe still do spot checks on things like tv time, and if they noticed a trend towards more tv over a period of a few weeks, THEN they would bring it up.

There is another way of seeing this. I understand the nanny's perspective but it is possible, very possible, that they are not checking the Netflix history regularly. Maybe it was a random revelation and suddenly the parents were worried about her history of adherence. So, they did the responsible thing and talked to the nanny. I get the mistake the nanny made is minor and I really hope the NF realizes that we all make mistakes and it would be so easy to move beyond this.

Just don't assume a lack of good faith on their part. It could easily have been a single case of checking the history and suddenly getting worried.

Hopefully, for both this nanny and the NF, they can just remember they have an investment in each other and approach this road bump with understanding and trust.