Bad fit called my previous employers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the family alone and move on. Threatening them with a slander suit is an empty losing threat and will probably enrage them more. (Truth and opinion are defenses and your case would be very difficult to prove - plus your lawyer NFs are probably Not going to do a whole case for free and litigation is very expensive even for a good claim.)

Bad advice from a guilty parent. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a lawyer friend to send the crazy woman a letter threatening her with a slander lawsuit. My lawyer NFs would do that in a heartbeat.

That should shut her trap.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the family alone and move on. Threatening them with a slander suit is an empty losing threat and will probably enrage them more. (Truth and opinion are defenses and your case would be very difficult to prove - plus your lawyer NFs are probably Not going to do a whole case for free and litigation is very expensive even for a good claim.)

This must be the same family OP just left.

[Anonymous]

I think it was terrible for the current family to call your old family and tell them. Each family should form their own opinions and save them for when they get a reference request.

I have done some reference checks that were glowing but the nannies were either so so or terrible. I did not call the old families back and tell them so. I wondered how in the world would they think this nanny is so good or even fine but I know that through the nanny they have certain issues (health, divorce) so perhaps having the best nanny was not the top priority. I feel bad for their kids but I think they are doing the best they can. In no circumstance, do I call them back and tell what a bad job the nanny has been doing and how terrible she is.

I think the fact that your current family called your reference shows that they are really weird and out of line. You have that going for you and you should speak to your reference family, give specific examples on things that happened that show the family is a bad fit (generalities do not work in this case) and hope for the best. You can also ask if you would get a positive reference you gave their name out in the future.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar situation where I can never find a job due to bad reference. I worked for the family for three and half years. The child started preschool already and they can't let me go on because they can't give me enough hours they want me to just wait without getting paid. Only 4hours on Mondays I told her I needed more hours. Any suggestion from lawyers?

[Anonymous]

While the family does seem a bit whacky to call just because you are leaving (not a good reason), I will say that I have been in a situation where a nanny who came with great references (from a family she still works with occasionally) was not just not great, but performing in a way that actually put my children in harm's way (lack of safety instinct).

My child has gone to go to the hospital under her watch, and she hasn't told me when other minor accidents happen so that I could make the call on whether to address them further. There were several situations that I just feel were not safe overall.

I haven't yet called the other family, but it's been on my mind to do since I know she still works with them occasionally. I don't want to bad mouth the nanny (she's no longer with us), but at the end of the day I am less concerned by an enraged nanny, than by ensuring that the children she is watching--even if just occasionally-- are safe (even if they are not my own). It may not change their opinion of the nanny, but maybe they will ask some questions that could prevent a future accident.

[Anonymous]

I would have a straight talk with your reference family and discuss your version of events. However try to do so without bashing your current family as this will look unprofessional. Just let them know that you tried to make things work out, but unfortunately for both sides, it just ended up being a bad fit on so many fronts. Assure them that you are a great nanny and mention the things that make you a great nanny, things that you did for their own family, etc.

I find it crazy that your current family actually took the time to call the reference family solely just to drag your name through the mud. Thank God you were let go.

Talk about a HUGE blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I have a similar situation where I can never find a job due to bad reference. I worked for the family for three and half years. The child started preschool already and they can't let me go on because they can't give me enough hours they want me to just wait without getting paid. Only 4hours on Mondays I told her I needed more hours. Any suggestion from lawyers?

I don't understand...they explicitly told you they'll give you a bad reference if you quit?

[Anonymous]

Simple: Don't use them as a reference.