Is this wildly inappropriate or am I being ridiculous?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

Get over yourself. People have sex, and they shit and fart as well.

[Anonymous]

So you feel wildly disrespected but you're not going to say anything?

Then what do you want from us?

I wouldn't want to hear it either, and I'd be embarassed if I were the one being overheard. But getting upset and offended by it while simultaneously insisting on doing nothing to resolve it, does no one any good.

If I were you I'd find a way to say something like "I'm pretty uncomfortable mentioning this in any way, but yesterday morning was awkward." Then see what happens. If it persists after that then you have a work environment in which you cannot feel comfortable and you can leave.

If it doesn't happen again then you have managed to resolve a situation that otherwise could have festered badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny can hear, the kids can hear.

The kids should be of more concern than any perceived, imagined, disrespect for you.

If they are ok with their kid hearing it, they think it is ok for you to hear it.

Most likely scenario is that they do not realize the sound carries over the sound of the water.

Get over yourself. No one is out to get you and demean you on purpose like you imagine yourself to be.

The kids are infants, that's not a big deal.


I am "over myself". I'm asking if I'm being over the top in my thinking, not need to be snooty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being ridiculous. They probably had no idea you heard, but either way, you're a grown up. Let them have some of the few alone-times they have without your judgment.

That's fine, but no. I don't want to hear it.

[Anonymous]

You realize that in most of the world, whole families share a single room and everyone, kids of all ages included, hear sex sounds? You ARE a prude if you want to get bent out of shape because two people had sex in their own home. Unless you knock and they say come in and you walk right into the middle of it, it's not a big deal at all.

And your holier than thou "they have plenty of time to spend together" doesn't take into account that they have...one? more than one?...small children. Most people with kids that age aren't having sex at all. Suck it up, honey.

[Anonymous]

Don't engage the troll. This is total bullshit. Lies.

[Anonymous]

It's their home but your workplace. They should have enough common courtesy to either keep down or be intimate on off hours. I think you being offended is a bit much though. I also think some parents forget that their home is a person workplace and they need to keep it professional. I think this all boils down to their personality and character. I've worked with some families that have walked around nude, fights in front of me, and hearing them masturbate, to employers that understood they needed to conduct themselves appropriately while I am there.

[Anonymous]

One of my NFs has me come an hour before they leave so I can take care of the kids whilst they get ready, on a number if occasions, the DB has made comments like "lets take a shower together" or "see you in bed in 5" to MB with me right there. She gets super pissed and has spoken to him many times about it. He is a pig though, and I think gets his rocks off announcing they are about to do it in front of people.

That being said, they still do it. While I'm there, downstairs with their children. It's gross, rude and I feel uncomfortable with it but its their house. I think you have a right to be grossed out. I also think the "you're a troll" comments will never end on this site. Just saying, it definitely does happen and its definitely okay to wish you could fall into a hole in the ground during it. I don't think you're a pearl clutcher, I just think some people are low class. The only time I think it's okay to know when a couple is having sex would be maybe, if they are TTC and have set times things need to occur.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, you're overreacting. You're not being violated or disrespected in any way by other people having sex. You're also not "sex positive" if you're so bothered by it.

Ignore it, take the kids out for a walk, or get a new job. Those are your options.

Personally, I would never have sex with anyone else in the house, but that's my comfort level. Obviously, your NF is different. In any case, it has nothing to do with you. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You realize that in most of the world, whole families share a single room and everyone, kids of all ages included, hear sex sounds? You ARE a prude if you want to get bent out of shape because two people had sex in their own home. Unless you knock and they say come in and you walk right into the middle of it, it's not a big deal at all.

And your holier than thou "they have plenty of time to spend together" doesn't take into account that they have...one? more than one?...small children. Most people with kids that age aren't having sex at all. Suck it up, honey.

The US is NOT a country where people of all ages live in one room, having sex as viewing sport.

OP. these prople are common. There are standards that decent people live by and having sex while you have someone working in your house is subjected to their moans and other gutteral noises is inexcusable.

You should say something. You have a right to expect a working atmosphere free of embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

I know OP stated kids are infants and so that is not an issue, and I agree.... BUT this situation really reminds me of one of my best friend's in high school who had parents who consistently had sex in a bedroom not 10 feet down the hall from her room and her brother's room ALL THROUGH THEIR TEENAGE YEARS. This family was well-educated and normal by all other standards, but my friend and her brother were (obviously) soooo grossed out and yet sooo embarrassed that they never confronted their parents. To this day I'm not sure if her parents knew they could hear or not! It seems like they did not know as who in right mind would do that feet from their almost grown children but at the same time they often left their door open (so HAD to know!?!?!) Point is, I think something should be said, if not to alert the offenders to the audibility of their behavior at least to hint that it is inappropriate and (somewhat, for now) offensive before it gets out of control
UGH
Actually, in the end my friend ended up re-opening and slamming her own bedroom door shut extremely loudly and yelling something along lines of STFU!!! but that was after MANY sessions suffered in silence (she may have been home from college on break by then.) Maybe you could start hinting now by slamming the door loudly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know OP stated kids are infants and so that is not an issue, and I agree.... BUT this situation really reminds me of one of my best friend's in high school who had parents who consistently had sex in a bedroom not 10 feet down the hall from her room and her brother's room ALL THROUGH THEIR TEENAGE YEARS. This family was well-educated and normal by all other standards, but my friend and her brother were (obviously) soooo grossed out and yet sooo embarrassed that they never confronted their parents. To this day I'm not sure if her parents knew they could hear or not! It seems like they did not know as who in right mind would do that feet from their almost grown children but at the same time they often left their door open (so HAD to know!?!?!) Point is, I think something should be said, if not to alert the offenders to the audibility of their behavior at least to hint that it is inappropriate and (somewhat, for now) offensive before it gets out of control
UGH
Actually, in the end my friend ended up re-opening and slamming her own bedroom door shut extremely loudly and yelling something along lines of STFU!!! but that was after MANY sessions suffered in silence (she may have been home from college on break by then.) Maybe you could start hinting now by slamming the door loudly?

So your friend grew up with parents who love and desire each other, and engage in consensual sex IN THEIR OWN HOME. The audacity. Seriously are you still 16?

I bet your friend (if she is even a hair more mature than you) has an incredibly healthy attitude towards love, sex, and commitment as an adult and is able to look back on her teenage years and laugh about her parents ardor. Maturity is a wonderful thing, you should try it.

[Anonymous]

MB here- your family is gross. totally inappropriate to do that with nanny there.
I would either be direct and say "i am really uncomfortable when you have marital relations while I am here"

or be passive aggressive.
turn on the radio really loudly when they begin so you can't hear. If they ask why, say "I didn't want to hear any noise from the bedroom"

I would be pissed

[Anonymous]

How can they know that it can be heard so well? Yeah, they probably know that shower/running water can be heard but that's it... I have a guest bedroom in the basement of my house right underneath family room. It took me years until I figured out that you can hear really well certain noises from there, especially sex. Give your employers a break.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it'd be WAY better if your family argued and was on the verge of divorce.

Sex is part of what most loving couples do. Maybe advise them to close the door or something but getting offended is way over the top. Also -- your employers are paying you for childcare.

Their presence in the house is immaterial if they are not interacting with you -- what if they both worked at home? I had one nanny that would get huffy if my DW would take a sick day.