Should I look for a new nanny?

[Anonymous]

OP again -- the baby is 12 weeks old. aside from the mother, it is really difficult for anybody to bond with the baby. you need to give this time, definitely more than 3 weeks

[Anonymous]

honestly it sounds like a nanny is not for you

[Anonymous]

Why in the heck do you have your mom and nanny there at the same time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First off, a 12 week baby doesn't know who is who so she's Not favoring grandma over nanny. However, the nanny can't possibly get the baby to do anything with grandma hovering. If your mom is there, why is the nanny? I've dealt with fussy babies who were spoiled by grandma but only after she had left. I'd never start a job with a grandparent home, they're worse than the parents. Grandma needs to be completely out of the pic while nanny is there or this will never work. She will constantly jump in and take over and/or criticize the nanny.

I am confused by your comment - if my 12 week old does not know who is who and is not favoring anyone - why would the nanny not be able to get anything done when grandma is around? My mom does not constantly "jump in" - she is gives the baby to the nanny for feeding and sleeping. But after 30 mins of crying - the nanny hands her back.

[Anonymous]

OP as many of us stated, your mom being around might not make the nanny feel comfortable being herself. Singing silly songs, etc. it is always awkward when a parent or grandparent is there hovering

[Anonymous]

What do you do, OP? Would you be better or worse at your job if your superior were sitting within earshot at all times? Why do you have a nanny if your mom is never going to leave the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do, OP? Would you be better or worse at your job if your superior were sitting within earshot at all times? Why do you have a nanny if your mom is never going to leave the house?

I work at an office - and my boss sits less than 5ft away from me. It does not impact my performance in any way. And I hired a nanny so that my mom was not spending 100% of her time watching my daughter. Yes - she does not go out for lunch, but she wants to have time reading books or cooking during the day. Right now - the nanny only tried for 30 mins before calling my mom to help, which does not allow her time to herself.

[Anonymous]

OP...as everyone stated, your mom shouldn't be around. You said you were confused by my statement. As a nanny, I would be very uncomfortable with your mom around and would have a harder time doing my job. I've never experienced this level of difficulty with a baby but I have had babies who are difficult in other ways. I've figured it out with parents/grandparents gone. I think you want for everyone to tell you to fire her. If that's what you want to do, just do it. Nothing anyone here says will make one bit of a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP...as everyone stated, your mom shouldn't be around. You said you were confused by my statement. As a nanny, I would be very uncomfortable with your mom around and would have a harder time doing my job. I've never experienced this level of difficulty with a baby but I have had babies who are difficult in other ways. I've figured it out with parents/grandparents gone. I think you want for everyone to tell you to fire her. If that's what you want to do, just do it. Nothing anyone here says will make one bit of a difference.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why is grandma stepping in? Is the nanny getting flustered and saying "I can't do this - you do it" or is your mom jumping in when it is difficult? Your mom needs to not jump in - at all - even if it has been awhile. She can offer suggestions of what works for her, but if she jumps in, all that is happening is your nanny is going to feel more and more like she can't figure it out (and that it is being reported back to you), and your child WILL start to favor your mom as she gets older.

My daughter wouldn't take a bottle from my own husband when I was transitioning back to work, if I was there. She'd nurse or take a bottle from me, but not him. He would get frustrated, I would get frustrated, I'd jump in. I finally just left (because I had no choice) and the first day sucked, and then they figured it out and it was fine. (He came up with the idea of giving her a bottle in the bath, which was where she was most relaxed anyway, and then once she realized it wasn't so bad she just took it any time.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off, a 12 week baby doesn't know who is who so she's Not favoring grandma over nanny. However, the nanny can't possibly get the baby to do anything with grandma hovering. If your mom is there, why is the nanny? I've dealt with fussy babies who were spoiled by grandma but only after she had left. I'd never start a job with a grandparent home, they're worse than the parents. Grandma needs to be completely out of the pic while nanny is there or this will never work. She will constantly jump in and take over and/or criticize the nanny.

I am confused by your comment - if my 12 week old does not know who is who and is not favoring anyone - why would the nanny not be able to get anything done when grandma is around? My mom does not constantly "jump in" - she is gives the baby to the nanny for feeding and sleeping. But after 30 mins of crying - the nanny hands her back.

Just out of the blue? Hey, I can't do this? Or is your mom standing around, commenting or talking to her or offering to help if it gets to be too much? Tell your nanny to handle it herself, tell your mom not to hover. This whole situation sounds confusing - who is even in charge of the baby during the day? It sounds like you hired a nanny but you want grandma to assist throughout the day as well if she is only giving the baby to the nanny to feed and put to bed. That situation isn't going to work. Either grandma is in charge, or nanny is in charge, or if they are both in charge it needs to be separate blocks of time - grandma passes baby off at noon, for example - not in certain situations. No wonder everyone, especially the child, is confused on how to handle things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you do, OP? Would you be better or worse at your job if your superior were sitting within earshot at all times? Why do you have a nanny if your mom is never going to leave the house?

I work at an office - and my boss sits less than 5ft away from me. It does not impact my performance in any way. And I hired a nanny so that my mom was not spending 100% of her time watching my daughter. Yes - she does not go out for lunch, but she wants to have time reading books or cooking during the day. Right now - the nanny only tried for 30 mins before calling my mom to help, which does not allow her time to herself.

I'm not a nanny, but employ a nanny. I would never take a job in your home with your mom always there. You WILL have a revolving door of nannies. Nobody with half a brain is going to put up with that shit.You sound very ignorant of what a nanny needs to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP as many of us stated, your mom being around might not make the nanny feel comfortable being herself. Singing silly songs, etc. it is always awkward when a parent or grandparent is there hovering

I think that's an excuse. A professional can do their job no matter who is watching.

[Anonymous]

Being silly maybe people are nervous about but just talking?? If she is not speaking to the baby that is odd b

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP as many of us stated, your mom being around might not make the nanny feel comfortable being herself. Singing silly songs, etc. it is always awkward when a parent or grandparent is there hovering

I think that's an excuse. A professional can do their job no matter who is watching.

+1