Choosing the right nanny...

[Anonymous]

OP, I can relate. If the nanny is okay with it that's what matters. Her children would have a better quality of life down the road than she would if she stayed in her native country. She would also be able to send them money for food, clothing and school fees. She may also be seeing this as an opportunity to bring her child to the US down the road once she has saved enough to afford a place of her own?

[Anonymous]

This is very disturbing.
I hope I never achieve a level in life where I face this situation or think moving a mother away from her children is okay.

[Anonymous]

I hope mom does make enough money to bring her kids to live with.
I hope those kids grow up to be extremely successful take care of their mom and buy whatever companies employ your children and put them out of work.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't already help her get everything legal.
Increase her pay as much as you can so she can get her children with her sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are her kids now?

The kids are with her now. We live in her home country and she has a regular day job with us and goes home to her kids in the evenings and weekends. They live in a compound with her siblings, cousins etc.

To the PP, I wish we had the option of bringing her kids but realistically it won't work out with housing, schooling, her own child care needs etc. She hasn't asked about this herself either.

Of course she hasn't she's worried about her job. She probably thinks you'd fire her if she'd ask.

[Anonymous]

White privilege and entitlement.
Modern day slavery legalized, glamorized, and justified.
You disgust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit of a strange post just because I am not sure too many people can relate? I guess it would depend where she is coming from and her long-term well being.

I agree. I wouldn't be surprised if we have a very active troll poster trying to distract people from the most important threads. He or she goes on forever about odd issues.

I'm not a troll, I promise! And haven't posted any other threads lately either. I do recognize this is an uncommon situation, but still thought it would be helpful for me to get others' views as I think through the options.

So it can be verified that you live somewhere where "compounds" are the place to live, if you can afford it?

Not sure what you mean that it can be verified, but perhaps I should clarify that with 'compound" I mean the extended family having two small houses that share a common outdoor space/yard. I would say that rather than it being a place to live if you can afford it, it's where you live if you can't afford something bigger. Compound was probably the wrong word to use to describe it.

Which part of the globe is this?

[Anonymous]

Those of you condemning the OP have a very ethnocentric view of this. There are very different cultural approaches to these issues around the globe.

If this mother (the nanny, not the OP) thinks the best way she can serve her family is to pursue some financial opportunities it is not our place to condemn her employer who is offering that opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White privilege and entitlement.
Modern day slavery legalized, glamorized, and justified.
You disgust me.

Really? This is someone who wants a job and the question is whether it is right or wrong to not give it to her because she has children when she is otherwise the best candidate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you condemning the OP have a very ethnocentric view of this. There are very different cultural approaches to these issues around the globe.

If this mother (the nanny, not the OP) thinks the best way she can serve her family is to pursue some financial opportunities it is not our place to condemn her employer who is offering that opportunity.

You, my dear, are full of it.
Read "Global Woman" if you want to get educated about this, and then come back here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very disturbing.
I hope I never achieve a level in life where I face this situation or think moving a mother away from her children is okay.

You do realize that the mother (the nanny) sees this as an incredible opportunity to make enough money to giver her children a better future, right? And that no-one is taking a child away from anyone, if offered the job is up to the nanny what she chooses to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very disturbing.
I hope I never achieve a level in life where I face this situation or think moving a mother away from her children is okay.

You do realize that the mother (the nanny) sees this as an incredible opportunity to make enough money to giver her children a better future, right? And that no-one is taking a child away from anyone, if offered the job is up to the nanny what she chooses to do.

You may keep fooling yourself if you wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very disturbing.
I hope I never achieve a level in life where I face this situation or think moving a mother away from her children is okay.

You do realize that the mother (the nanny) sees this as an incredible opportunity to make enough money to giver her children a better future, right? And that no-one is taking a child away from anyone, if offered the job is up to the nanny what she chooses to do.

You may keep fooling yourself if you wish.

I'd (genuinely) love to hear your thoughts on the matter. At what point is it OK to intervene in a decision like this? When is it discrimination and when is it slavery?

[Anonymous]

OP, there are many ways to look at this. For an American, this would probably be unthinkable. For many other cultures, a parent's temporary absence is acceptable and normal if other family members are on hand to step in. In fact, my mom took care of her granddaughter, my niece, for three years while her mom was out working. I'm sure your nanny is doing it for her children's benefit.

Think about it this way: if you decide not to bring her with you, it's not like she and her kids would be better off. She probably will have a hard time finding a good employer. So who wins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White privilege and entitlement.
Modern day slavery legalized, glamorized, and justified.
You disgust me.

I don't think you understand what slavery means...I'll give you a hint. It's an arrangement in which a slave has no choice. Not an arrangement where someone is asking to have a job.