Should we fire our nanny?

[Anonymous]

Another MB saying I wouldn't fire my nanny over this.

Put a bay gate at the bottom of the stairs.

And be suspicious of your son's story. Six year olds can engage in some magical thinking. It's not lying necessarily; it's telling a story. I know because I believed some pretty fantastic tales told by my 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

Yet another MB totally agreeing with everyone else.

A) baby proof your home. If you are worried about the stairs then put gates up.

B) do not condemn an adult based on the word of a 6 yr old.

C) get used to living in fear of the danger your children can inflict on themselves. That's life.

D) Look seriously at your immediate instinct to judge the nanny. Are you a decent, open-minded, boss who sees your nanny as your primary ally, not enemy? If you haven't hired someone in whom you can have really strong confidence then you either hired poorly or you are incredibly difficult to work for.

[Anonymous]

And yet another MB agreeing that this was your fault and not the nanny's. You know your baby (presumably) better than the nanny does and your should have installed a bottom stair-gate before this happened. That is basic parenting 101 in regard to child safety.

And I also agree with a PP you asked that you examine your feelings toward your nanny. Your seemingly intense desire to find fault with her really struck me as well.

[Anonymous]

In all honesty, I have found that I always seem to find fault with my nanny right after I've felt threatened by something she did better than I could do or when DS is particularly attached or affectionate with her. I was doing it subconsciously for the most part but once DH pointed it out to me I could see how there was always a direct correlation.

I do think this is what you are doing, OP. First, in taking the word of a six-year-old and believing it without question. Second, it shifting the blame to the nanny rather than taking responsibility for your own home being safe for your baby. Third, in posting here as you seem desperate to find others to agree with you (which no one needs to do when they are certain they are correct).

[Anonymous]

Nanny here: You and nanny are both guilty here.

As others said you need to get a babygate at both the top and bottom of the stairs. That's on you. Bad judgment on your part.

Secondly, you always go over an incident with the nanny unless you have seen it with your own eyes or a camera or some actual evidence not just a story of your 6 year old.

While I don't think you should fire her the nanny didn't show the best judgment not a good idea to leave a mobile infant unsupervised. Especially if she knew the stair situation. My charges are the ages of your kids, if I go into the kitchen to fix lunch or dinner for them the baby comes to play in the room with me or goes to the playroom adjacent so I can see her.

Fortunately very fortunately the baby was not hurt.

Now install those gates!

[Anonymous]

Another MB who thinks you should have had a gate. That is basic baby safety.

[Anonymous]

No you should not fire her - everyone is human and, in fact, since you don't have gates, could have easily happened to you! We live in a townhouse and have gates on ALL stairways. Trust me, you need them. Once this child is truly mobile, she will want to be all over the place!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here: You and nanny are both guilty here.

As others said you need to get a babygate at both the top and bottom of the stairs. That's on you. Bad judgment on your part.

Secondly, you always go over an incident with the nanny unless you have seen it with your own eyes or a camera or some actual evidence not just a story of your 6 year old.

While I don't think you should fire her the nanny didn't show the best judgment not a good idea to leave a mobile infant unsupervised. Especially if she knew the stair situation. My charges are the ages of your kids, if I go into the kitchen to fix lunch or dinner for them the baby comes to play in the room with me or goes to the playroom adjacent so I can see her.

Fortunately very fortunately the baby was not hurt.

Now install those gates!

Agree with this 1000%. This is an opportunity to have a discussion (not a lecture) with the nanny.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised by all the posts arguing so vehementlythat it was OP's fault. I have two kids and I have always been paranoid about safety. I do think that OP is at fault in not childproofing the house. if OP has a long starcase in the house, she needs a gate at the top and at the bottom. I had gates to prevent my little ones to get into the kitchen. So this is certainly on OP. but I do think that the nanny made a gigantic mistake if the baby did climb the stairs. it is true that you cannot watch two kids 100% (heck, the nanny will have to go to the bathroom during the day), but this does not mean you leave a 1 yr old unsupervised. you put the baby in the box if you need to go to another room for a few minutes. if the nanny thinks that it is ok to leave the baby on the floor alone while she goes somewhere else, she is irresponsible. however, in this case you don't know exactly what happened. I would not fire her. I would put a gate at the bottom of the stairs ASAP, and talk to the nanny about what your son told you, going over safety misures (like putting the baby in the box if she needs time to do something else). if I knew for sure that she left the baby unattended for a while and that the baby reached the top of the stairs I would consider let her go because I think this is a sign that she does not have good judgemnt, regardless of whether I am at fault for not putting the gate at the bottom of the stairs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by all the posts arguing so vehementlythat it was OP's fault. I have two kids and I have always been paranoid about safety. I do think that OP is at fault in not childproofing the house. if OP has a long starcase in the house, she needs a gate at the top and at the bottom. I had gates to prevent my little ones to get into the kitchen. So this is certainly on OP. but I do think that the nanny made a gigantic mistake if the baby did climb the stairs. it is true that you cannot watch two kids 100% (heck, the nanny will have to go to the bathroom during the day), but this does not mean you leave a 1 yr old unsupervised. you put the baby in the box if you need to go to another room for a few minutes. if the nanny thinks that it is ok to leave the baby on the floor alone while she goes somewhere else, she is irresponsible. however, in this case you don't know exactly what happened. I would not fire her. I would put a gate at the bottom of the stairs ASAP, and talk to the nanny about what your son told you, going over safety misures (like putting the baby in the box if she needs time to do something else). if I knew for sure that she left the baby unattended for a while and that the baby reached the top of the stairs I would consider let her go because I think this is a sign that she does not have good judgemnt, regardless of whether I am at fault for not putting the gate at the bottom of the stairs

So, you're saying that OP should baby proof the stairs, and talk with the nanny, but not fire her over this because she's working on the word of a 6yr old. Right?

Sounds pretty much like what almost everyone else said.

[Anonymous]

Before you fire her outright, first have a talk w/her.

I am most certain your son is telling you the truth, I see no reason for him to make this up. Why would he....?

After hearing her response, then it is entirely up to you if you feel comfortable enough leaving your children w/her.

But I would at least give her the option of letting her explain her side of things before firing her outright.

It would only be fair.

[Anonymous]

Mom here. Install baby gates OP!

[Anonymous]

Your son could be exaggerating but either way I would have told my boss because I know DS would tell her the minute I walked out the door and it would be totally out of proportion. I would get gates and talk to the nanny. It is important to have good communication.