Worst Au Pair Experiences.

[Anonymous]

We got an AP in a rematch with a horror story as well. The kids she cared for were horribly violent and pulled a knife on her at the end. This is after months of abusive behavior with host parents who threw their hands up and just called them "bad kids" they couldn't control.

[Anonymous]

Our Au Pair lied about everything. She would throw tantrums. She demanded pay for 45 hours while only working 30 (a week). She was like a cat: she thought she was the queen of the house and she shed hair everywhere. She lied about her childcare experience and got the kids into dangerous situations, one of which involved hot soup and hot tea spilling on the 1yo and me because the 6yo had accidentally grabbed onto the tablecloth, spilling the hot stuff on us. I got into a cold shower, and it was not too bad, even though I had the worst burn. 10yo and AP took 1yo to the bathroom upstairs. 10yo tried to take off the baby's diaper., and get him (1yo) in a cold bath. AP refused even though 10yo went to talk to me about it. Next, 10yo tried to put the baby into a cold sink bath, but AP refused for fear of 1yo "catching cold." Finally,10yo was able to get some cold water on the baby's wound, but 1yo still had to go to the ER. Near the end of her stay, she started purposely disobeying my rules and pretending she did not understand to get out of work. She also started neglecting the 1yo. We had a small flood in our house and our AP

[Anonymous]

Oops, accidentally hit publish. Anyway:
was not helpful at all. After she left, we found out that she was staying illegally in the US with another Columbian family. She used us to get into the US. She took advantage of us and was a real cheat. We are not getting an Au Pair again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our Au Pair lied about everything. She would throw tantrums. She demanded pay for 45 hours while only working 30 (a week). She was like a cat: she thought she was the queen of the house and she shed hair everywhere. She lied about her childcare experience and got the kids into dangerous situations, one of which involved hot soup and hot tea spilling on the 1yo and me because the 6yo had accidentally grabbed onto the tablecloth, spilling the hot stuff on us. I got into a cold shower, and it was not too bad, even though I had the worst burn. 10yo and AP took 1yo to the bathroom upstairs. 10yo tried to take off the baby's diaper., and get him (1yo) in a cold bath. AP refused even though 10yo went to talk to me about it. Next, 10yo tried to put the baby into a cold sink bath, but AP refused for fear of 1yo "catching cold." Finally,10yo was able to get some cold water on the baby's wound, but 1yo still had to go to the ER. Near the end of her stay, she started purposely disobeying my rules and pretending she did not understand to get out of work. She also started neglecting the 1yo. We had a small flood in our house and our AP

that all sucks!

Aren't we supposed to pay them a flat rate on a weekly basis--even if they work say 19 hours or 45 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She demanded pay for 45 hours while only working 30 (a week).

While, indeed, the rest sounds horrible... yes, you are indeed required to pay your AP for 45 hours/week ($195.75) no matter if she works 45, 30, 20 or 5 hours that week. You cannot prorate just because you ask them to work less. She might have been a horrible AP but only paying your AP $130.50 for working 30 hours instead of the (flat rate!) $195.75 makes you a crappy host parent.

Jumping into the shower without your baby makes you a less than stellar parent, in my eyes... But I guess whatever rocks your boat. Taking a baby to the ER after getting burned with hot liquids should also be the norm rather than an exception. Your 6yo caused the burns. AP is not a nurse. Yes, not putting cold water on it (or actually... no, don't... warm water is much butter on a mild burn, cold water can restrict perfusion and lead to cold-induced vasoconstriction which can favor burn progression) might not have been the smartest. But if your baby gets hurt while you are around you take the baby into the shower with you. You don't expect your babysitter to do it. Your baby.

(Also, don't match with a 3rd world country AP and complain if the stay in the US illegally after their year is up. Also? Not your problem. Agency's problem, yes. But not yours.)

You might have had a bad AP but I am happy I wasn't her. I don't think I would have lasted a year with you.

[Anonymous]

Wow why I think the program should be ended (horrible cheap families) and why I don’t take South Americans all in one post. Impressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She demanded pay for 45 hours while only working 30 (a week).

While, indeed, the rest sounds horrible... yes, you are indeed required to pay your AP for 45 hours/week ($195.75) no matter if she works 45, 30, 20 or 5 hours that week. You cannot prorate just because you ask them to work less. She might have been a horrible AP but only paying your AP $130.50 for working 30 hours instead of the (flat rate!) $195.75 makes you a crappy host parent.

Jumping into the shower without your baby makes you a less than stellar parent, in my eyes... But I guess whatever rocks your boat. Taking a baby to the ER after getting burned with hot liquids should also be the norm rather than an exception. Your 6yo caused the burns. AP is not a nurse. Yes, not putting cold water on it (or actually... no, don't... warm water is much butter on a mild burn, cold water can restrict perfusion and lead to cold-induced vasoconstriction which can favor burn progression) might not have been the smartest. But if your baby gets hurt while you are around you take the baby into the shower with you. You don't expect your babysitter to do it. Your baby.

(Also, don't match with a 3rd world country AP and complain if the stay in the US illegally after their year is up. Also? Not your problem. Agency's problem, yes. But not yours.)

You might have had a bad AP but I am happy I wasn't her. I don't think I would have lasted a year with you.

Right, and it looks like this host parent was not happy about state dept policies by not wanting to pay the flat stipend...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My worst au pair was a social media junkie. Always on her phone always on the apps...so much that my kids gave up on asking her to play with them. She would text in the car and even take videos. I asked her to stop and even had two mediations with her and our counselor. . She also was clueless and would start the car with the garage door down. She was passive aggressive and although I told her to take the boys outside every day, she would 'forget' or 'assume they didn't want to because they did ask to'. She claimed she was a slave because she had to play with the boys and be available when they were sick or had a snow day vs being able to be off/go to the gym.

I should have rematched, but I muddled thru instead. Never again.

How awful. Our Au Pair has costed us thousands of extra dollars yet puts less effort into child related care.
We paid over $2000 on her root canal, given her clothes, jewelry, extra holidays off, let laundry slide, let’ cleaning kids’ room slide,
Leaves dirty dishes, leaves crap stains in toilet, comes home the next day hung over, has her boyfriend sleep over (our fault), he eats our food, drinks our coffee, takes showers, etc. She lied and claimed she was going to school two nights a week, so I arranged and paid extra for daycare. Busted her! Not going to school for months. Yet we still pay her over the weekly minimum and pay her unlimited public transportation pass. Buy her ridiculous list of requested groceries that include us going to more than one grocery store on a weekend because my husband and I both work full-time. She’s always on some fad diet and requests different and specific food items.
She planned her entitled vacation, which my husband agreed to take 6 days off (instead of 5). Then one week prior, she claimed her boyfriend accidentally booked their return flight an additional day later. I was forced to find childcare and work from home. The sitter worked from 9-3 and was paid $100. All while our AuPair got 2 free paid days off, plus we used our PTo and paid additional for childcare.
I could go on with more. She was just a waste.
Her first 10 months to 12 months was great. After that we should have let her go. It was apparent that she felt entitled.
We NEVER asked her to work a weekend. She worked Mon-Fri.
I have the worst feeling in my gut about her. But it’s end of June 2019 and her contract ends Sept 10, 2019. Not sure if I can take it much more.

[Anonymous]

To the person who posted the story about being accidentally burned: You did not take care of your baby before you took care of yourself?

[Anonymous]

Nope, seems they didn't...

Anonymous wrote:I got into a cold shower, and it was not too bad, even though I had the worst burn. 10yo and AP took 1yo to the bathroom upstairs.

Horrible AP or horrible parenting? I really need to think about this for just a minute... or two... or not.

Also 6yo spilling hot stuff on mom (?) and 1yo is of course the AP's responsibility, right? Not as if there wasn't a parent sitting right next to the 6yo grabbing onto the tablecloth? Who might have been able to do some parenting even with AP being... where? We have no idea. For all we know AP wasn't even in the same room (or on duty). But yes, I am certain all that hair she was shedding was horrible (There needs to be a much tighter screening process for HFs to weed out family like those)

[Anonymous]

I'm good friend without LCC in our CCAP cluster of 30 APs. I dont know where to start with the stories!

The best of the worst:

1. AP started dating a drug dealer. Drug deal kicked down his families back door in the middle of the night in a fit of rage.

2. AP was leaving baby in crib all day to cry. Baby was listless and with horrendous diaper rash, parents installed a hidden camera and found out weeks in about the abuse.

3. AP texting and driving with baby and toddler kids in the car and hit a pedestrian. Family was sued and obviously lost.

[Anonymous]

I work with Colombians. They will do anything to get their relatives into the country to stay (illegally).

I have never permitted my APs to drive my car. I purposely bought a house near metro and bus lines knowing one day I might have car trouble -- or an AP! Occasionally I pay for her Lyft. If she drives someone else's car I never permit my kids to be in the car. Just not going there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with Colombians. They will do anything to get their relatives into the country to stay (illegally).

I have never permitted my APs to drive my car. I purposely bought a house near metro and bus lines knowing one day I might have car trouble -- or an AP! Occasionally I pay for her Lyft. If she drives someone else's car I never permit my kids to be in the car. Just not going there.

So your "horror story", is a bunch of clichés based on (silly) stereotypes about Colombians? You sound delightful.

I wonder how you manage to make it to work knowing you obviously don't trust the people you hire. I guess the safety of your kids must mean very little to you if you genuinely let them stay home with someone you have complete paranoia over.

I am genuinely more baffled with the host families on this thread than some of the Au Pairs horror stories. Starting with the mother who got burnt by her son, somehow blamed it on the AP and then blamed the AP for not doing what she, as a mother, couldn't even be arsed to do, which is make sure her baby's burn were attended first.

I guess it's the perfect thread to see criterion to be accepted in the AP program are very low be it for families or Au Pairs.

[Anonymous]

I was brought in as a nanny after a succession of bad APs. Prior to those three in 6 months, the family had 3 fantastic APs, and wanted to extend with one.
First problem AP was just not loud enough or confident enough. Three kids are noisy, physical and wrestle around. It can turn into an argument if someone’s elbow or knee slips, so the adult HAS to be willing to speak up and wade in to pull one out. In another household, she was fine, just the wrong AP for that family.
Second problem AP had no common sense. She stood at the top of the driveway to throw the ball down the driveway to a 3yo. She was also vindictive, and flushed a handful of the daughter’s favorite hair ties (causing a blockage requiring the plumber, again no common sense). She was verbally and emotionally abusive. She should not have been allowed to rematch to another family, so it wasn’t a surprise when she tried to rematch a second time and was sent home instead.
Third AP was the worst. Not reliable, including sleeping through noon preschool pick up, missing the middle child’s bus and forgetting the oldest at school, all in one week. Scatterbrained, no idea what homework was, let alone whether early elementary kids had done it, or whether backpacks were packed for the morning. No ability to make even boiled eggs, scrambled or boxed man and cheese, let along anything else. Verbally and emotionally abusive, and during a two week reset, decided to physically abuse a 3yo. Immediately removed from the house, but it took the kids age before they trusted caregivers other than their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our Au Pair lied about everything. She would throw tantrums. She demanded pay for 45 hours while only working 30 (a week). She was like a cat: she thought she was the queen of the house and she shed hair everywhere. She lied about her childcare experience and got the kids into dangerous situations, one of which involved hot soup and hot tea spilling on the 1yo and me because the 6yo had accidentally grabbed onto the tablecloth, spilling the hot stuff on us. I got into a cold shower, and it was not too bad, even though I had the worst burn. 10yo and AP took 1yo to the bathroom upstairs. 10yo tried to take off the baby's diaper., and get him (1yo) in a cold bath. AP refused even though 10yo went to talk to me about it. Next, 10yo tried to put the baby into a cold sink bath, but AP refused for fear of 1yo "catching cold." Finally,10yo was able to get some cold water on the baby's wound, but 1yo still had to go to the ER. Near the end of her stay, she started purposely disobeying my rules and pretending she did not understand to get out of work. She also started neglecting the 1yo. We had a small flood in our house and our AP

Wow. Just wow. So you were paying this person around $130 a week when they had been promised $196 a week and you wonder why they were upset with you? If you didn’t need someone to work 45 hours or week and or aren’t willing to pay $196, you should NOT have an Au Pair. How were expecting her to afford things? How would you feel if your boss just said, “hey, you only need to work 30 hours from now on and we are cutting your pay.” Would you be able to afford your life? She can’t even legally have another job, you are her sole source of income!! You are a terrible host family and definitely should not be part of this program. You give a bad name to all of us other host parents.