Nanny asking for a month off with no notice

[Anonymous]

You don't have time to arrange backups if you yourself are traveling until jan 5th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have time to arrange backups if you yourself are traveling until jan 5th.

It can be done - that's where the costs of an agency really make sense.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm a cynic, but I bet nanny did this on purpose hoping OP would agree to it since it was such short notice.

Tell her the additional two weeks are contingent upon you being able to find coverage for those two weeks and that in the future she must adhere to the vacation policy in the contract.

If you cannot find coverage tell her that she is free to go, but you cannot hold her job for her.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I talked to her this morning and tried to come to a compromise. I offer to another eek unpaid and I will take my own vacation from work to. Cover. For her. But, I dont even have that much vacation and it is unreasonable to ask for that much time off with no notice. At first, she said she is still going and we can take the time while she is gone to find someone else. And, when I said if that is what you really want to do then that is your choice. And, I told her that I thought I was being more than reasonable. And, oh by the way good luck finding another job because no one else would give her that much time off either.


And, she thought about it and said that she was sorry. And, she does want this job.

I am still calling mommy relief. Thanks for recommendation. I need to find out there fees. I am scared she may not come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I talked to her this morning and tried to come to a compromise. I offer to another eek unpaid and I will take my own vacation from work to. Cover. For her. But, I dont even have that much vacation and it is unreasonable to ask for that much time off with no notice. At first, she said she is still going and we can take the time while she is gone to find someone else. And, when I said if that is what you really want to do then that is your choice. And, I told her that I thought I was being more than reasonable. And, oh by the way good luck finding another job because no one else would give her that much time off either.


And, she thought about it and said that she was sorry. And, she does want this job.

I am still calling mommy relief. Thanks for recommendation. I need to find out there fees. I am scared she may not come back.

lol, your nanny sounds like a peach.

[Anonymous]

Jeez OP. I'm an MB and if my nanny responded that way to me she would be actively talking herself out of a job. That kind of attitude is NOT ok.

Don't forget that you're the employer and you have a work agreement that specifies how vacations are to be handled.

Do not feel beholden to her. A nanny that threatens "you can look for someone else" is asking to get fired. Good for you for standing your ground but maybe you really should be looking for someone else given her behavior.

So not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I talked to her this morning and tried to come to a compromise. I offer to another eek unpaid and I will take my own vacation from work to. Cover. For her. But, I dont even have that much vacation and it is unreasonable to ask for that much time off with no notice. At first, she said she is still going and we can take the time while she is gone to find someone else. And, when I said if that is what you really want to do then that is your choice. And, I told her that I thought I was being more than reasonable. And, oh by the way good luck finding another job because no one else would give her that much time off either.


And, she thought about it and said that she was sorry. And, she does want this job.

I am still calling mommy relief. Thanks for recommendation. I need to find out there fees. I am scared she may not come back.

Wow, if I were you I would use the time she is away to find a new nanny. You were more than fair in trying to compromise. It sounds like she thought threatening you with leaving would make you give in. That is completely NOT ok. And you are right to be scared she may not come back. FWIW our nanny is from another country as well and takes a 2 week trip there every other year for which she gives us tons of advanced notice. She travels halfway around the world and has never taken more than 2 weeks. Anyone who is serious about their job doesn't ask for an entire month off and expect to keep their job.

[Anonymous]

You all are stupid.we are nannies not slaves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are stupid.we are nannies not slaves

You are laughable in your relentlessness and misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are stupid.we are nannies not slaves

You are laughable in your relentlessness and misery.

+1.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I talked to her this morning and tried to come to a compromise. I offer to another eek unpaid and I will take my own vacation from work to. Cover. For her. But, I dont even have that much vacation and it is unreasonable to ask for that much time off with no notice. At first, she said she is still going and we can take the time while she is gone to find someone else. And, when I said if that is what you really want to do then that is your choice. And, I told her that I thought I was being more than reasonable. And, oh by the way good luck finding another job because no one else would give her that much time off either.


And, she thought about it and said that she was sorry. And, she does want this job.

I am still calling mommy relief. Thanks for recommendation. I need to find out there fees. I am scared she may not come back.


Wow, if I were you I would use the time she is away to find a new nanny. You were more than fair in trying to compromise. It sounds like she thought threatening you with leaving would make you give in. That is completely NOT ok. And you are right to be scared she may not come back. FWIW our nanny is from another country as well and takes a 2 week trip there every other year for which she gives us tons of advanced notice. She travels halfway around the world and has never taken more than 2 weeks. Anyone who is serious about their job doesn't ask for an entire month off and expect to keep their job.

I agree with PP. Find a new nanny. Threatening you was a terrible response on her part, and if she did it once, she will do it again. You can find another nanny who would never treat you with such disrespect.

[Anonymous]

I was surprised with how quickly I was able to pulled together emergency back up care via SitterCity. Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it. Let her go. Maybe you'll end up loving the stop-gap babysitter and offer her the job to replace your nanny since she seems fine with you giving her job away. If you don't love her and your nanny does finally come back, you can take her back. No pressure either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have time to arrange backups if you yourself are traveling until jan 5th.

It can be done - that's where the costs of an agency really make sense.

Yes, yes! If you pay more fees and higher rates and more money, it can be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I talked to her this morning and tried to come to a compromise. I offer to another eek unpaid and I will take my own vacation from work to. Cover. For her. But, I dont even have that much vacation and it is unreasonable to ask for that much time off with no notice. At first, she said she is still going and we can take the time while she is gone to find someone else. And, when I said if that is what you really want to do then that is your choice. And, I told her that I thought I was being more than reasonable. And, oh by the way good luck finding another job because no one else would give her that much time off either.


And, she thought about it and said that she was sorry. And, she does want this job.

I am still calling mommy relief. Thanks for recommendation. I need to find out there fees. I am scared she may not come back.

You are taking 2 weeks of for Xmas and New Years week, then another week off in January to "cover for" your young, vacationing nanny?
Please do not tell your employer this, this sounds pathetic.

Just say No. She put the ticket on Hold because she knows its bull$hit and now she thinks she will get away with it. You work for her. Sucker!

Where's your husband in all of this? Either of us would have laughed her out of the house this morning if the above conversation truly happened. "Take the time to find someone else." Yeah, like that is what you planned to do over the holidays.

She sounds like a selfish, immature drama queen and these episodes will not end. The trust has been broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the replies. I talked to her this morning and tried to come to a compromise. I offer to another eek unpaid and I will take my own vacation from work to. Cover. For her. But, I dont even have that much vacation and it is unreasonable to ask for that much time off with no notice. At first, she said she is still going and we can take the time while she is gone to find someone else. And, when I said if that is what you really want to do then that is your choice. And, I told her that I thought I was being more than reasonable. And, oh by the way good luck finding another job because no one else would give her that much time off either.


And, she thought about it and said that she was sorry. And, she does want this job.

I am still calling mommy relief. Thanks for recommendation. I need to find out there fees. I am scared she may not come back.

Op, I'm the pp that mentioned the possibility of her taking the extended vacation with or without your approval and spoke about the different expectations of foreign nannies regarding vacation. I'm telling you now after seeing the exact same thing happen multiple times that you need to fire her. She will not come back on the agreed upon date and will most likely quit. You need to not pay her for the two weeks you originally agreed upon or make the payment contingent on her return at the agreed upon date. I would use the time she is away to find her replacement. This is a scheme for more vacation time and she planned it perfectly around your one year mark so that she can tell further employers you only needed her a year. Also, she is basically getting paid to quit because of the vacation pay you offer. If you accommodate her know she will do it again in the near future.