When other nannies or mothers will not step in, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the nannies and parents that intervene are you comfortable with another nanny or mom correcting your child?

Nanny here and it has never happened (not yet anyway) as I'm on top of what my charge is doing but I'm sure I would be fine with it if the parent or adult handled the situation as gently and constructively as I do.

And now we get to the root of it. I am perfect everyone should practice childcare as I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here-

For me it depends on how old the other kids are. I have toddler triplet charges. If it's other little kids then I wouldn't say anything most likely, but for bigger kids then I do usually say something. I've had a couple of experiences lately where it was much bigger kids just running wild and being really mean to my little guys, so I just flat out told them they needed to stop taking things and pushing my guys down. Didn't stop them totally but they did stay away from my charges after that. We also have a couple of local Au Pairs that I've learned do not watch their charges at all. So now when they come to the playground or library story time when I'm there I keep a close eye on them as they tend to come in and leave a wake of destruction in their paths

This is how I am too. I think it comes with caring for more than one child or having a couple of kids of your own . Like with anything else with kids you pick your battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always get involved. I have found that the other nannies appreciate it while the parents give me dirty looks - but I do not care. No one, especially an older kid, is going to take a toy out of the hands of my little guy (14 months old).

Once a three year old took away a toy that my little guy was playing with (not from his hands but he was pushing it). I looked to the father (or maybe grandfather) who said to his kid, "Do you want to share with the little boy?". The girl said "no" and put the toy on the shelf. He said, "That's okay". So I said to the grandfather, "You know what? That is not okay. She shouldn't have taken away a toy that another child was playing with" and I took the took off the shelf and handed it back to my charge. The man said, "She's only three" and I said, "She is but you aren't." And he took his kid and left. I feel I absolutely did the right thing and the father/grandfather was a jerk.

Wouldn't want my nanny behaving like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always get involved. I have found that the other nannies appreciate it while the parents give me dirty looks - but I do not care. No one, especially an older kid, is going to take a toy out of the hands of my little guy (14 months old).

Once a three year old took away a toy that my little guy was playing with (not from his hands but he was pushing it). I looked to the father (or maybe grandfather) who said to his kid, "Do you want to share with the little boy?". The girl said "no" and put the toy on the shelf. He said, "That's okay". So I said to the grandfather, "You know what? That is not okay. She shouldn't have taken away a toy that another child was playing with" and I took the took off the shelf and handed it back to my charge. The man said, "She's only three" and I said, "She is but you aren't." And he took his kid and left. I feel I absolutely did the right thing and the father/grandfather was a jerk.

Wouldn't want my nanny behaving like this.

I'm sure she would never want to work for you. So it all works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course I get involved - it's fricking "Lord of the Flies" with children if adults don't mediate. Children do not learn the rules of play without adult guidance - that is Child Development 101.

Plus, I would never want my charge to think I didn't "have her back" 24/7 and 100%.

Somethings about children you cannot learn from a book or class.

I thought the same as you 18 years ago when my oldest was 2.

I think somewhat differently now that my youngest is 2.

I don't intervene as much. I don't judge other caregivers for their actions as much.


There are things I let go and things I don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Constant mediation and adult intervention can be an issue too.
Our kids are losing social skills and peer to peer interaction s that are important in development thanks to constant adult intervention.
When you constantly helicopter you are teaching a child they cannot do and solve a problem on their own, and that your feelings on a situation matter more than their own.

Our children and charges LEARN social skills and peer-to-peer interaction. Neither are innate. Your point is well founded AFTER the child starts kindergarten when the children will sort it out and deal with the "offender" generally by refusing to play with him/her. I totally disagree that young children (under three) should be left to the fend for themselves in a face of a bullying older child.


And too often being anti-helicoptering is used as a justification for simply being lazy.

I'm a nanny and I always step in and protect or correct my charges in play groups and parks.

Yours is the kid who instead of telling Larla to stop taking his trains he waits for you to come do it for him.

By all means teach, but part of teaching is allowing the student to practice what they have been taught.

Even a 2 year old can speak up.

All I'm saying is give your kids a chance instead of automatically swooping in to save them when they may not need to be saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Constant mediation and adult intervention can be an issue too.
Our kids are losing social skills and peer to peer interaction s that are important in development thanks to constant adult intervention.
When you constantly helicopter you are teaching a child they cannot do and solve a problem on their own, and that your feelings on a situation matter more than their own.

Our children and charges LEARN social skills and peer-to-peer interaction. Neither are innate. Your point is well founded AFTER the child starts kindergarten when the children will sort it out and deal with the "offender" generally by refusing to play with him/her. I totally disagree that young children (under three) should be left to the fend for themselves in a face of a bullying older child.


And too often being anti-helicoptering is used as a justification for simply being lazy.

I'm a nanny and I always step in and protect or correct my charges in play groups and parks.

Yours is the kid who instead of telling Larla to stop taking his trains he waits for you to come do it for him.

By all means teach, but part of teaching is allowing the student to practice what they have been taught.

Even a 2 year old can speak up.

All I'm saying is give your kids a chance instead of automatically swooping in to save them when they may not need to be saved.

My "kid" is 14 months old and can't tell Larla to stop taking his trains or anything else. What "chance" does he have against the 4 year old girl who snatched a puppet out of his hand? I let him go after it on his own but I had to tell the little girl that my charge was playing with that and to please give it back to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I always get involved. I have found that the other nannies appreciate it while the parents give me dirty looks - but I do not care. No one, especially an older kid, is going to take a toy out of the hands of my little guy (14 months old).

Once a three year old took away a toy that my little guy was playing with (not from his hands but he was pushing it). I looked to the father (or maybe grandfather) who said to his kid, "Do you want to share with the little boy?". The girl said "no" and put the toy on the shelf. He said, "That's okay". So I said to the grandfather, "You know what? That is not okay. She shouldn't have taken away a toy that another child was playing with" and I took the took off the shelf and handed it back to my charge. The man said, "She's only three" and I said, "She is but you aren't." And he took his kid and left. I feel I absolutely did the right thing and the father/grandfather was a jerk.

Wouldn't want my nanny behaving like this.

Yes I know - it kills me when people treat nannies like actual people and not the owned servants that they are. This nanny clearly had no business disagreeing with a Master. Men are always right and she is just a lowly domestic.

The fact that she was there for your child when you weren't should mean nothing to you.

[Anonymous]

Hell, yes I step in! I was a preschool teacher before becoming a nanny and we always stepped in to show children how to solve disagreements, learn manners and stop bullying. Now that I am a nanny I would feel horrible if I let another child take something that my charge was playing with and did nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the nannies and parents that intervene are you comfortable with another nanny or mom correcting your child?

Sure am! Especially if it's dangerous or violent, I want the nearest adult to jump right in and I always say thanks if I didn't get a chance to grab her first. Most parents are gentle in how they deliver the "that's not okay" message so I've never been in the position of feeling like the other parent was harsher than I would have been.

[Anonymous]

I always step in when I see my charge reaching to take another child's toy (he's gotten way better about this fortunately), and usually if another kid takes something he has the parents correct them. If the parent is not around I still don't correct the other child because usually they are also under 2, I just get my charge something similar to play with and encourage the sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Constant mediation and adult intervention can be an issue too.
Our kids are losing social skills and peer to peer interaction s that are important in development thanks to constant adult intervention.
When you constantly helicopter you are teaching a child they cannot do and solve a problem on their own, and that your feelings on a situation matter more than their own.

Our children and charges LEARN social skills and peer-to-peer interaction. Neither are innate. Your point is well founded AFTER the child starts kindergarten when the children will sort it out and deal with the "offender" generally by refusing to play with him/her. I totally disagree that young children (under three) should be left to the fend for themselves in a face of a bullying older child.


And too often being anti-helicoptering is used as a justification for simply being lazy.

I'm a nanny and I always step in and protect or correct my charges in play groups and parks.

Yours is the kid who instead of telling Larla to stop taking his trains he waits for you to come do it for him.

By all means teach, but part of teaching is allowing the student to practice what they have been taught.

Even a 2 year old can speak up.

All I'm saying is give your kids a chance instead of automatically swooping in to save them when they may not need to be saved.

I agree that children need to learn how to work things out amongst themselves, but my charges are just 18 months old now. While they are fairly verbal, they cannot navigate situations like this quite yet. Well they can, but it usually involves biting and we are trying to discourage that I am constantly encouraging them to use their words and modeling how to solve these types of situations with eachother and others.

That being said, when a six year old comes along and shoves one of them down, I will definitely say something.

[Anonymous]

To the nannies and parents that intervene are you comfortable with another nanny or mom correcting your child?



Sure am! Especially if it's dangerous or violent, I want the nearest adult to jump right in and I always say thanks if I didn't get a chance to grab her first. Most parents are gentle in how they deliver the "that's not okay" message so I've never been in the position of feeling like the other parent was harsher than I would have been.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the nannies and parents that intervene are you comfortable with another nanny or mom correcting your child?

Nanny here and it has never happened (not yet anyway) as I'm on top of what my charge is doing but I'm sure I would be fine with it if the parent or adult handled the situation as gently and constructively as I do.

And now we get to the root of it. I am perfect everyone should practice childcare as I do.

NP here. I don't think that's what she meant at all. I too am a nanny and we are paid to be on the ball. It is not that I am better than someone else, it is that I am good at my job. I would Be appreciative if someone corrected my charge of I missed it, certainly not bothered by it.