baby not eating or sleeping enough at nanny share

[Anonymous]

1. What reason is she giving for why the baby is sleeping in the bouncer?

2. Have you directly told her that he is not to sleep in the bouncer?

3. What reason is she giving for the baby not eating enough?

4. Is he eating breastmilk or formula? How long has he been using bottles?

5. How much experience does your nanny have?

[Anonymous]

OP here: I assume she's either holding the other baby or the baby's sleeping, but I can ask. Also, my baby sleeps in his crib at home and I worry that the lack of routine and bouncer cat naps are going to mess that up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not listen to the PP who said you have a high needs baby. That is just ridiculous.

You have a baby who is overtired and underfed. Any decent nanny would be able to devote 10-15 minutes to a successful sleep routine each nap (yes, even with TWO babies). I can't even imagine how incompetent she is if she us unable to even feed your baby enough, smh.

If you really want to keep this nanny, you are going to need to give some pretty explicit instructions and plan a detailed schedule, including times and amounts of feeding, times and lengths of naps required, a quiet place that your baby can nap (work this out with the host family) and a set routine that needs to be followed to get baby to sleep. Honestly though, unless things improve pretty quickly, you might be better off cutting your losses and finding a new nanny right now.

Good luck

Calm the hell down. It's been a friggin week. Even exceptional nannies need a little time to get used to a new schedule.

No she shouldn't calm the hell down. As a nanny who does only shares for the past 8years this is a huge sign of a nanny's lack of experience, at least the feeding part. Her baby should not be underfed. What the hell is the nanny doing that she can't keep a feeding schedule. Napping may take some time but feeding shouldn't be an issue. If the baby isn't sleeping or eating tha im assuming he's crying all day and overstressed. This is a major concern. I've met a lot of nannies who just can't handle multiples/shares so it's not a far reach to say she's not the right fit if she can't manage to fed the baby

It could also be the sign of a high-needs baby. This is not normal behavior. So perhaps instead of PP acting like a lunatic, it would be wise to understand what is actually going on prior to suggesting that OP fire the nanny. I have also worked in shares exclusively (way longer than you have) and can tell you that when a high-needs infant is put in an unknown situation with an unknown person, it affects their eating and sleeping routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I assume she's either holding the other baby or the baby's sleeping, but I can ask. Also, my baby sleeps in his crib at home and I worry that the lack of routine and bouncer cat naps are going to mess that up.

I figured you were assuming. Why don't you ASK your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not listen to the PP who said you have a high needs baby. That is just ridiculous.

You have a baby who is overtired and underfed. Any decent nanny would be able to devote 10-15 minutes to a successful sleep routine each nap (yes, even with TWO babies). I can't even imagine how incompetent she is if she us unable to even feed your baby enough, smh.

If you really want to keep this nanny, you are going to need to give some pretty explicit instructions and plan a detailed schedule, including times and amounts of feeding, times and lengths of naps required, a quiet place that your baby can nap (work this out with the host family) and a set routine that needs to be followed to get baby to sleep. Honestly though, unless things improve pretty quickly, you might be better off cutting your losses and finding a new nanny right now.

Good luck

Calm the hell down. It's been a friggin week. Even exceptional nannies need a little time to get used to a new schedule.

No she shouldn't calm the hell down. As a nanny who does only shares for the past 8years this is a huge sign of a nanny's lack of experience, at least the feeding part. Her baby should not be underfed. What the hell is the nanny doing that she can't keep a feeding schedule. Napping may take some time but feeding shouldn't be an issue. If the baby isn't sleeping or eating tha im assuming he's crying all day and overstressed. This is a major concern. I've met a lot of nannies who just can't handle multiples/shares so it's not a far reach to say she's not the right fit if she can't manage to fed the baby

It could also be the sign of a high-needs baby. This is not normal behavior. So perhaps instead of PP acting like a lunatic, it would be wise to understand what is actually going on prior to suggesting that OP fire the nanny. I have also worked in shares exclusively (way longer than you have) and can tell you that when a high-needs infant is put in an unknown situation with an unknown person, it affects their eating and sleeping routine.

Requiring more than a few scattered hours of sleep a day and being adequately fed are completely normal behaviors. There is something seriously wrong with the nanny profession when multiple people think that this baby needs special care and you are a lunatic if you suggests that, perhaps a nanny who is incapable of feeding an infant be replaced.

Also, curious as to how you acquired the bolded information PP...or do you always just blindly assume you are superior?

[Anonymous]

1. She claims it's the only place he will sleep and that he cried when she tried to put him down in the quiet space. I told her I don't believe in CIO but maybe I should clarify that it's ok if he fusses a bit, which is fine.

2. No, I just found out today that us where he's been sleeping and as I was a bit blind sided I didn't immediately say she shouldn't do that. Wanted to come back with a good plan rather than just say no to things.

3. She says he's playing with the bottle nipple. Which I know he does sometimes but if you take it away and wait 5 minutes and try again he always takes it. She argued with me about this and said she won't take it away when he's playing with it. I thought I would defer to her experience here but that doesn't seem to be working.

4. Breastmilk. He's been getting at least one bottle a day since 2 or 2.5 months but it did take some work.

5. She's done two nanny shares before and maybe about 7 years total as nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not listen to the PP who said you have a high needs baby. That is just ridiculous.

You have a baby who is overtired and underfed. Any decent nanny would be able to devote 10-15 minutes to a successful sleep routine each nap (yes, even with TWO babies). I can't even imagine how incompetent she is if she us unable to even feed your baby enough, smh.

If you really want to keep this nanny, you are going to need to give some pretty explicit instructions and plan a detailed schedule, including times and amounts of feeding, times and lengths of naps required, a quiet place that your baby can nap (work this out with the host family) and a set routine that needs to be followed to get baby to sleep. Honestly though, unless things improve pretty quickly, you might be better off cutting your losses and finding a new nanny right now.

Good luck

Calm the hell down. It's been a friggin week. Even exceptional nannies need a little time to get used to a new schedule.

No she shouldn't calm the hell down. As a nanny who does only shares for the past 8years this is a huge sign of a nanny's lack of experience, at least the feeding part. Her baby should not be underfed. What the hell is the nanny doing that she can't keep a feeding schedule. Napping may take some time but feeding shouldn't be an issue. If the baby isn't sleeping or eating tha im assuming he's crying all day and overstressed. This is a major concern. I've met a lot of nannies who just can't handle multiples/shares so it's not a far reach to say she's not the right fit if she can't manage to fed the baby

It could also be the sign of a high-needs baby. This is not normal behavior. So perhaps instead of PP acting like a lunatic, it would be wise to understand what is actually going on prior to suggesting that OP fire the nanny. I have also worked in shares exclusively (way longer than you have) and can tell you that when a high-needs infant is put in an unknown situation with an unknown person, it affects their eating and sleeping routine.

Requiring more than a few scattered hours of sleep a day and being adequately fed are completely normal behaviors. There is something seriously wrong with the nanny profession when multiple people think that this baby needs special care and you are a lunatic if you suggests that, perhaps a nanny who is incapable of feeding an infant be replaced.

Also, curious as to how you acquired the bolded information PP...or do you always just blindly assume you are superior?

PP said she has been a nanny for 8 years. Read.
I'm not suggesting anything other than figuring out what is actually going on before putting all the blame on the nanny.
DCUM:Guilty until proven innocent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not listen to the PP who said you have a high needs baby. That is just ridiculous.

You have a baby who is overtired and underfed. Any decent nanny would be able to devote 10-15 minutes to a successful sleep routine each nap (yes, even with TWO babies). I can't even imagine how incompetent she is if she us unable to even feed your baby enough, smh.

If you really want to keep this nanny, you are going to need to give some pretty explicit instructions and plan a detailed schedule, including times and amounts of feeding, times and lengths of naps required, a quiet place that your baby can nap (work this out with the host family) and a set routine that needs to be followed to get baby to sleep. Honestly though, unless things improve pretty quickly, you might be better off cutting your losses and finding a new nanny right now.

Good luck

Calm the hell down. It's been a friggin week. Even exceptional nannies need a little time to get used to a new schedule.

No she shouldn't calm the hell down. As a nanny who does only shares for the past 8years this is a huge sign of a nanny's lack of experience, at least the feeding part. Her baby should not be underfed. What the hell is the nanny doing that she can't keep a feeding schedule. Napping may take some time but feeding shouldn't be an issue. If the baby isn't sleeping or eating tha im assuming he's crying all day and overstressed. This is a major concern. I've met a lot of nannies who just can't handle multiples/shares so it's not a far reach to say she's not the right fit if she can't manage to fed the baby

It could also be the sign of a high-needs baby. This is not normal behavior. So perhaps instead of PP acting like a lunatic, it would be wise to understand what is actually going on prior to suggesting that OP fire the nanny. I have also worked in shares exclusively (way longer than you have) and can tell you that when a high-needs infant is put in an unknown situation with an unknown person, it affects their eating and sleeping routine.

My current 3yr old charge was a high needs baby in our share and now her brother is (I care for 3 kids). Needing to sleep in a dark quiet room is not a symptom of a high needs baby, especially if the child has been on a good routine at home prior to entering the share. The nanny isn't being consistent with the child's sleep routine for some reason and its disrupting his sleep. Not getting enough food means the nanny is not feeding the baby. If the baby is already bottle trained than the nanny isn't paying attention to his needs and making sure he is feed enough. Even my colic and acid reflux baby ate enough and slept because I made it a priority. If the other baby is easy then she should feed him and put him down for a nap than focus on giving her baby extra attention. I never said she should fire her tomorrow, I said it's probably not a good fit. She should speak in detail with the nanny and not ignore these signs. So telling her to calm down that she is acting parnoid isn't an appropriate response either.

[Anonymous]

Op here: thanks for all the responses. This seems to be getting a bit contentious though, so I'm going to just do my best to work with the nanny and see how it goes. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. She claims it's the only place he will sleep and that he cried when she tried to put him down in the quiet space. I told her I don't believe in CIO but maybe I should clarify that it's ok if he fusses a bit, which is fine.

2. No, I just found out today that us where he's been sleeping and as I was a bit blind sided I didn't immediately say she shouldn't do that. Wanted to come back with a good plan rather than just say no to things.

3. She says he's playing with the bottle nipple. Which I know he does sometimes but if you take it away and wait 5 minutes and try again he always takes it. She argued with me about this and said she won't take it away when he's playing with it. I thought I would defer to her experience here but that doesn't seem to be working.

4. Breastmilk. He's been getting at least one bottle a day since 2 or 2.5 months but it did take some work.

5. She's done two nanny shares before and maybe about 7 years total as nanny.

Tell her you want him sleeping in the room. Don't expect him to sleep much for a while. It sounds like they all need to get used to each other.
Tell her what you want, offer your support and let them get used to each other.
She refused to take the bottle out of his mouth if he's playing with the nipple? This makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

This is why I won't do shares with two babies. I think it makes it too hard to give them both the time and attention they need. If things don't settle in for your baby, consider a share with an older child.

[Anonymous]

Does the nanny keep a log with feeding, naps etc... maybe that is way to help her keep track and for you to know what is going on. As for your requests regarding how to get your baby to nap -- it is NOT unreasonable and if she is not following your wishes and continues to put him in the bouncer or whereever it's time to discuss a new nanny. That said it's been one week so maybe montior the situation for a month and if things don't improve (she still isn't following the nap routine you want) get rid of her. Also, have you discussed the situation with the other couple to find out if they have concerns with the nanny? Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, Your baby is not high needs.

Nanny sounds like she is not able to handle multiple babies. We had a weekend nanny like this for our twins when they were infants. She was never able to get them to finish their bottles or get them to sleep in their cribs. For example she got them to eat 17-20oz a day where our regular nanny had them eating 30-32oz. Basically she was getting them to eat enough to not be starving, but not enough to really fill them up. As a result on the days weekend nanny was there they were waking up multiple times a night to eat, where on the other days they were waking up once.

Honestly we spoke to her several times and gave her lots of chances because we liked her as a person, but things never improved. She wasn't even able to follow the schedule that we wrote out for her.

[Anonymous]

It has been a week . One week.

Your baby is adjusting to you not being around all the time, having a new caregiver, and another infant around meaning he's not number one all the time.

Some babies have a harder time adjusting to change in the familiar than others.

Nearly all babies need more than a week.

Nanny needs to be able to create a routine and schedule that works for as all involved this means the nanny and both babies. That's an essent I piece of a share .

I have done a share with two babies one that had trouble adjusting the first week, not wanting to eat a not wanting to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you want him sleeping in the room. Don't expect him to sleep much for a while. It sounds like they all need to get used to each other.
Tell her what you want, offer your support and let them get used to each other.
She refused to take the bottle out of his mouth if he's playing with the nipple? This makes no sense.

+1 Explain where he should be sleeping and when, how much he should be eating and when, giver her tips for sleeping & feeding, i.e. what works for you, and make it clear that while you understand that some compromises might need to be made in a nanny share, and that she might have some of her own techniques, these are important and you hope to be able to stick as closely as possible to these things.

If the other baby can sleep almost anywhere and yours doesn't fuss when tired, she could put the other baby to sleep first, then spend a bit more time working on getting your baby used to the new surroundings in the area you've set up.